Should a girl buy the condoms?

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz  September 9, 2009 06:00 AM

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Barbara: Is it okay for girls to buy the condoms?

From: Kaitlynn, Springfield


Hi Kaitlynn,

I can't think of a single reason why it is not a good idea for a girl to buy the condoms, assuming that this is a girl who is mature enough to be having sex in the first place. The idea is to keep our daughters -- and sons -- safe from sexually transmitted diseases and, oh by the way, pregnancy. If a girl is inclined to have sex (do I need to repeat: and mature enough, and it fits into her value system), I see nothing unromantic or unwise about being able to produce the condom in the event the boy does not.

I imagine the objection some parents might have to telling their daughter to have a condom handy is that it is tantamount to condoning hook-ups. For a full discussion of hook-ups, read this.

What do others think?


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3 comments so far...
  1. Condoms protect girls *and* boys, so either one can buy them! Good job taking charge of your health and (hopefully) happiness. Practice buying and using them, and you'll gain confidence with both.

    Posted by serafina September 9, 09 10:54 AM
  1. Before I settled down, I was sexually active and always, always made sure that I had condoms. If a man didn't want to use them, then he got no luck. Please. Buy them. But don't give in to someone who's unwilling to use them! And make that clear from the moment you realize that your relationship is progressing to the point of that level of intimacy - use them or lose out.

    Posted by phe September 9, 09 02:45 PM
  1. Following all that Barbara wrote about timing/maturity/values, etc.,

    the hypothetical couple here has three choices:
    1) he provides the condom;
    2) she provides the condom;
    3) they go without a condom.

    Since #3 is the *worst* choice, that narrows it down to one of the remaining two.
    Seeing that it's going onto his equipment, #1 should apply.
    If he fails/neglects to supply it, #2 must apply so as not to take the risks of #3.

    Either could buy them; but one *must*...

    Mere availability of condoms doesn't necessarily lead to their usage.
    If a couple reached the decision to have sex, it's only fortunate that condoms are in ready supply.

    Posted by self-protection September 9, 09 02:58 PM
 
3 comments so far...
  1. Condoms protect girls *and* boys, so either one can buy them! Good job taking charge of your health and (hopefully) happiness. Practice buying and using them, and you'll gain confidence with both.

    Posted by serafina September 9, 09 10:54 AM
  1. Before I settled down, I was sexually active and always, always made sure that I had condoms. If a man didn't want to use them, then he got no luck. Please. Buy them. But don't give in to someone who's unwilling to use them! And make that clear from the moment you realize that your relationship is progressing to the point of that level of intimacy - use them or lose out.

    Posted by phe September 9, 09 02:45 PM
  1. Following all that Barbara wrote about timing/maturity/values, etc.,

    the hypothetical couple here has three choices:
    1) he provides the condom;
    2) she provides the condom;
    3) they go without a condom.

    Since #3 is the *worst* choice, that narrows it down to one of the remaining two.
    Seeing that it's going onto his equipment, #1 should apply.
    If he fails/neglects to supply it, #2 must apply so as not to take the risks of #3.

    Either could buy them; but one *must*...

    Mere availability of condoms doesn't necessarily lead to their usage.
    If a couple reached the decision to have sex, it's only fortunate that condoms are in ready supply.

    Posted by self-protection September 9, 09 02:58 PM
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About the author

Barbara F. Meltz is a freelance writer, parenting consultant, and author of "Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Understanding How Your Children See the World." She won several awards for her weekly "Child Caring" column in the Globe, including the 2008 American Psychological Association Print Excellence award. Barbara is available as a speaker for parent groups.

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