My identical twins just turned 19. They have two older sisters they are pretty close to. They still live at home with me (Mom). They have two kind of part-time friends they share equally.
They work at the same place. They have acne, not so bad, but enough to create some self consciousness.
Hence, they keep to themselves when it comes to "boys". The thing is they do not really socialize, do not seek new friends or activities.
They are VERY artistic and I offered them a "henna" class through the local school district where they could "tatoo" themselves or each other. The class encouraged bringing a friend and offered a discount for two. They would not even consider it. I pointed out that they would be together, didn't have to visit if they didn't want to, but that maybe they could meet like minded artsy people or find out other local artsy venues, etc. But they won't go.
I'm concerned that if they don't venture out a bit, they'll marry identical twin boys, identically entwined, buy a twin house (connected wall between two homes) and they'll live on one side and the guys will live on the other and they'll pass each other going to and from for sex!
Is there anything I can do to help them spread their wings a bit? I worry that they're missing out, but also, they are fortunate in so many ways to have each other.
From: Linda, Anoka, MN
My reaction to your email was to say simply, it sounds like they are pretty happy and it sounds like you are measuring their sociability against a standard that may not meet their needs. In other words: Back off.
But just to be sure, I consulted with Nancy Segal, the nation's preeminent researcher on the subject. Here's her response:
My advice to this mom would be to consider how happy the twins are. Some twins prefer to spend a lot of time together — and this pair has an outside friend. If anything, the mom might go ahead and buy them a gift certificate to a course [to take together]. That way, they would have to take it — but they would be exposed to other people.
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