Another idea - from your comment about working, I wonder if your son is in some sort of after-school care. Have you considered asking your care provider to have him do homework there? My kids have gone to two different afterschool programs, and both would have the kids do homework on request, in a designated place and time. You can go over the homework with him at home, but he might be more willing to do it if his friends are doing their homework, too.

My son was a lot like your son. Homework was a constant struggle until partway through third grade. One thing that helped us a lot was making sure he wasn't hungry. On days that he doesn't go to afterschool care, I make sure he has a nutritious snack before even thinking about homework. If you do need to do homework at home, perhaps after dinner would be a better option. Another thing to consider would be having him do it in the morning - that works well for some of my friends.

Good luck!

I have learned with my 2 children, they can not do their homework as soon as they get home from school, They do need that time to decompress, have a snack, talk about their day, etc. We have found that after dinner works for 1 of our children and the other just needs an hour or so when they get home to relax and then will do their homework.

For us, homework works best right after dinner. Kids do need time to decompress after they get home. When they get home, I don't ask anything other than they hang up their coats and empty their backpacks. Then it is free time until dinner, which we eat fairly early. Free time does not include screen time - I want them being active. The rule is no screen time on school nights period, and only on weekends after any weekend homework and chores are done. After dinner - homework. Both of my kids have desks in our home office. If they are both in there at the same time, they often distract each other. However, both of them have to read for 20 minutes a day. So usually I will have one go do their reading on a comfy chair elsewhere, while the other does any worksheets, spelling, or what have you. Then they switch.

Another rule I have is that I will only help if they are being polite and pleasant. The second they start being whiny, rude, or defiant, I am gone. They can either figure it out on their own, or decide what to tell their teacher the next day, or apologize and calm down - their choice. After homework, they do their daily chores, and then, free time until bed.

My daughter likes to come home, have a snack, and watch tv for a half hour. I have no problem with this because she knows that, in order to do this, she needs to go right to her homework after the show. She also knows that she cannot go play until her homework is done. I think you just need to find their currency and make them realize it can go away unless they do what is required.

Um, if you're at work all day, then where is your son between the time school ends and the time you get home from work? If he's in an after school program, why isn't he doing his homework there?

Don't make this so complicated, because it's not. Give your kid a snack when he gets home so he has some food in him. Then, assuming it is convenient for you that he do his homework then, tell him to get to work. If he begins to argue, calmly tell him that there is a new rule - when you tell him to do homework, he does it, end of story. If he even attempts to argue with you, he will go to bed a half hour early. He might push back a couple of times, but he will figure it out quickly. He lives in your house, you make the rules, not him.

I suggest you give him a snack and then let him run around outside and play with his friends. Fresh air and activity will do wonders for his attitude. Do homework after dinner (or while waiting for dinner). The school day is long, and kids can feel exhausted and crabby when they get home. You could even make the play time an incentive, as in, "If you cooperate and get your homework done after dinner, then you can play with friends after school. If you have a hard time getting it done after dinner, then you'll have to do it right when you get home."

The last thing I want to do when I get home from work is immediately start doing chores such opening and responding to mail and bills, clean the house, etc. I need a little transition time relaxing.

Why would a kid feel any different? They've had a long day too. I agree, give them some time to relax and decompress, but be consistent on a time and place to get homework done. After dinner seems to be the best time for homework, as long as dinner is on the early side. That leaves time after homework for snuggling, doing a fun project or just goofing around before bedtime.

My son is in after school care for a little while, but honestly I prefer that he do his homework at home for a variety of reasons. If the LW feels the same, I agree that time to recharge is important. My son has a very light snack and reads or draws for about 20 minutes, and then it is homework time.

We also found it helpful to set some homework rules -- we did this not to punish and we did not set them during a homework struggle; we discussed over family dinner one night. The rule in our house is that our son can watch TV or play video games for half an hour in the evening, as long as he does his homework without being nagged (other than the "It's time to start your homework, honey, please go set yourself up to do it now") and eats his veggies at dinner. lol. Having him understand that the relaxing screen time must be saved for after we are done with our work has helped him as well, I think.

And once you get this sorted out, don't forget to reward your son when he does his homework without nagging. Notice his good work and reward it with something meaningful to him.

Set a timer for 30 minutes after you get home...that's free time. Then it's time to go to the table and do the work. He can sit there and complain and pout for as long he wants, but he can't leave the table until it's done. Like wearing a seatbelt, it is a non-negotiable house rule. Period. No discussions.

I'm against a reward system because I don't believe in rewarding kids for doing what they're supposed to, and it doesn't set up good behaviors for when they're older. This is a big reason most kids fall apart in college...there's suddenly no one standing over them making them or rewarding them for their work. The kids who do well in high school and college are the ones who understand that homework is done, done immediately and done without complaint. The reward is that you then spend the night before the big assignment is due watching tv instead of in the computer lab freaking out until 3 in the morning.

why is everyone "yelling"?? haha! everyone is writing in caps.Am I missing some new internet etiquette????

Homework's not optional, so let him decide how he wants to spend the 30-40 minutes of free time you're going to give him *before* he sits down to do his work. Let him set the timer, so he feels the responsibility, but when it goes off, he has to sit down at his desk or wherever your homework spot is and get cracking. And if you don't have a homework spot that is free of distractions, now's the time to find one.

As a mother and the former director of an Afterschool Program, I have come across many solutions to this problem, most of which have already been addressed here. In AS care, our routine was to get the parents' instructions on whether the child was to do homework there, or not. Many parents preferred that the child have fun with his friends, since this was the only opportunity they had to do that, and do homework at home.

My issue with homework has always been that if the child makes the comments yours does, and also has no trouble with the homework, why is he getting it? If he's bored with it, but CAN do it, what's the purpose? I have always thought of homework as a supplement to schoolwork, to help children master their lessons, not drudgery. Imagine if your boss said to you "The report/research/house you made/built is just fine, but on your off time, go home and do this part of it again, just for the heck of it?" If there is not enough time in the school day to do all your work, extend the day. Homework too often becomes a battleground between parents and children, in a world where they don't get enough time together as it is.

He obviously does not need to practice the lessons. If the homework is just to get him used to doing homework, then give him something fun to do, for goodness sake! That will not only give him the practice of doing it, but also make it something to look forward to.

I ask my kids when they want to do their homework each day and give them two choices. A typical day involves my saying,"You can either do it at 4:45 when I start dinner or get it done now. The other day I said I wouldn't start pumpkin carving until everyone's homework was complete. Wow did that get them moving! Offer a trip to the library or something as a little reward for getting it done without an argument. First grade homework is new and a difficult transition but if you lay down the law (in the right way, without yelling) you will have no problem in the coming years! Good luck.

He's too smart for this homework. He complains about being bored and then gets it all correct quickly. I would talk to him about how easy or hard his whole school day is for him. Then go talk to the teacher, either about boredom with the homework or boredom with the whole day, depending on what you find. Eventually, you're going to face either a bored kid who doesn't like school or a kid who is disruptive because class is boring. He argues with you now, and eventually he may argue with his teachers for the same reason, once he feels comfortable enough with them or bored enough. Better to talk to them about a bored kid than a disruptive kid.

I had this sort of thing happen to me in middle school. We moved across the country to a school teaching me stuff I had learned two years before. I was bored out of my mind. I got the worst grades of my life, because I didn't do all my stupid homework. I hated school and would always try to find an excuse not to go -- I was "sick" a lot at that school. Before that, I was always on top of my own schoolwork and got straight A's without my parents interference. My parents didn't quite know how to handle it since they'd never had to before, and suddenly policing an unwilling 11yo is not the easiest thing in the world. We moved again, to a school that I was actually at pace with and was fine after that. But the year in that one middle school was miserable.

I agree with #14 and #15. I never had kids, but there is a book called "The End of Homework". Why bother to do something you already know and that you have done ad nauseum again at night?
When I was in High school, I did all my work in study hall except for Latin. I read instead. One day I was reading "The Secret of Santa Vittoria" and it was so funny I laughed out loud. The teacher on duty came over to admonish me and when she saw what I was reading, she asked if she could borrow it after I was done. But she took "The Adventurers" away from a boy who was reading that in study hall. Selective censorship!

While establishing good habits is important, think that it's important to remember that he's still in first grade and probably wants to spend some non-homework time with you (playing a short game?) before he hits the math problems. Anyway, here's an article that helped me with managing the homework thing with my older kids:
http://www.schoolfamily.com/school-family-articles/article/731-homework-without-the-fuss

Once you and your son decompress, ask him to sit down at the kitchen table to talk about his school day while you get supper ready in the same room. You will have to listen and ask questions but he will see that dinner gets made at the same time. He may drag his homework out on his own after he sees that he gets real time with a parent. I'm willing to bet that he can get it done before you get a meal cooked.

Now BOTH parents here need to ask themselves--what the heck is the 7 year old going to do between suppertime and bedtime if his homework has been cranked out earlier??? Is he going to be a boob tube zombie for several hours a day?

So if he really is above grade level, then you might find him some more advanced math problems to solve as a game. Or some mechanical building or geometrical or word games--there is nothing stopping you and his father from challenging him at home. I have found that advanced tutoring at home works really well when the child actively seeks out an hour a day or so. It's a healthy interaction that teaches them so much more than just the subject in the game.

I find my kids really value unfettered free time. They are heavily into Legos right now - could literally spend 3 hours straight building lego things and doing stop motion animation of them (well, what passes for stop motion animation when you are 9 and just figuring out how it workds). They are starting to under stand that less time spent arguing about homework = more time with legos. So by buckling down right after dinner, they can be totally done with homework and chores by 6:30, leading to 2 uninterrupted hours of lego mania. By constantly reinforcing that the reward for prompt attention to 'must do' activities is longer unbroken stretches of time doing what they want to do, I am able to teach them time management skills that will serve them well in the future. Having unbroken time does not need to mean that they spend more time in front of the screen.