She rues custody arrangement

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz  March 2, 2010 06:00 AM

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Barbara, I made a terrible mistake, now my son is suffering because of it. His dad sent him out of state to stay with his family and I don't know how to bring him home. It has already been six to seven months. I am still getting child support.

From: Marlene, San Diego



Dear Marlene,

It's hard to know from your email what, exactly, is going on, but it sounds like you have a custody arrangement of some kind that you're not happy with. I'm not a lawyer or an expert on divorce, but my understanding is that it is always possible to go back to court to make changes in custody arrangements.


I emailed with  Megan Olendorf, a spokesperson for Avvo, a free legal website that helps people get advice or find the right lawyer.  She wrote,

 "Your reader can come to our site and search for a family law attorney in the San Diego area (we rate and profile 90% of the lawyers in the US, including all in California), or if she just has a legal question at this point, she can post it in our Q&A forum, and she’ll get a personalized response from a lawyer in her area. Again, it’s all free."
Suggestions from others who have been done this road?

I answer a question from a reader every weekday. If you want help with some aspect of child-rearing, just write to me here.




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1 comments so far...
  1. It sounds to me as if she has custody -- she is getting child support, and she says "his Dad sent him," not "we decided t send him...". So did the Dad send the boy out of state without permission? Or with permission, but without any change in the custody? If the LW has legal and physical custody, she can simply contact the police in the state where her son is, show them the custody papers/judicial order, and ask for their help retrieving her son. Regardless, get to a lawyer!

    Posted by jlen March 2, 10 09:46 PM
 
1 comments so far...
  1. It sounds to me as if she has custody -- she is getting child support, and she says "his Dad sent him," not "we decided t send him...". So did the Dad send the boy out of state without permission? Or with permission, but without any change in the custody? If the LW has legal and physical custody, she can simply contact the police in the state where her son is, show them the custody papers/judicial order, and ask for their help retrieving her son. Regardless, get to a lawyer!

    Posted by jlen March 2, 10 09:46 PM
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About the author

Barbara F. Meltz is a freelance writer, parenting consultant, and author of "Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Understanding How Your Children See the World." She won several awards for her weekly "Child Caring" column in the Globe, including the 2008 American Psychological Association Print Excellence award. Barbara is available as a speaker for parent groups.

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