The 2nd link does not work. Where is the free seminar?

Thanks for the heads up! We fixed the link. The free seminar is the Boston Health & Fitness Expo at the Hynes Convention Center in Boston. Michael Jellinek is speaking at a panel discussion called "Parenting Through Adolescent and Teen Behaviors." Here's the link: http://www.massgeneral.org/about/newsarticle.aspx?id=2229

I can relate to the question and am really glad to see the response. My 12 year old has ADHD and learning disabilities and also plays hockey. His grades are always an issue. He gets lots of appropriate accommodations and support both at school and at home but is reaching an age where he has to USE the help that is offered. We use a technique from Positive Discipline where if he does all of his homework each week (evidenced by a signature from his teacher in his assignment book and evidence of studying) he gets screen time on the weekend. If he's got outstanding assignments or can't prove that he studied, no screen time that weekend and he tries again next week.

Anway, my husband is beside himself that I still let him play hockey in spite of bad grades. He's not a great player and never will be, but is passionate about the sport. I can't imagine telling a kid who struggles in school that I am going to then take away the only thing he enjoys. Athletics are not only good for the body but are good for the brain as well. Kids need to MOVE on a regular basis to both burn off excess energy and create more. Taking away hockey won't make my son do better in school, so why would I do that to him?

Another consideration is that for a kid who struggles in school, needing to maintain minimum grades to play on a school's team can be a great incentive to really try. My son will play for his middle school's hockey team next year and is already talking about what he'll do differently to keep his grades up because he doesn't want to be benched. For a coach to bench a kid from games for a few weeks until grade improve is a lot different from taking away a sport for an entire season - removing the possibility of playing for a year would not encourage your son to do better. I hope that the LW can reach agreement with his wife - perhaps talking to a guidance counsellor or school coach or family therapist will give her the perspective she needs to make a good choice to help her son success on and off the ice.

The amount of hockey he is playing is not enough to adversely impact his grades. It sounds as if taking away hockey is merely a punishment for not getting good grades, not a solution to a problem. My boys get their work done with far less nagging when they are heavily involved in sports and other activities - there is little time for procrastination or getting in trouble. If hockey is his only recreational outlet, at 13, this boy should be getting MORE than just one day a week and on the weekend, especially if he is truly passionate about it. Kids need a passion, heck, everyone needs a passion.

I completely agree with Barbara. It is inappropriate to take away an activity that provides pleasure. I saw this happen in my own family when my stepsister (who received Cs in middle school) was told by her own academically-oriented father that her grades were abysmal and as a consequence he was pulling her from her dance programs. I watched as my stepsister spiralled into depression, failing grades, dropped out of three colleges, and was finally hospitalized for alcohol poisoning before pulling her life together, all because she was taken away from the activity she loves..

It is ABSOLUTELY correct to take away that which takes up the majority of the extracurricular time when his grades are poor.

I'm getting the impression that mom doesn't really like her children playing hockey--it's a dangerous sport-- and is looking for an excuse to stop the activity. In that case, when it comes to safety, Mom usually gets what she wants!