Son only likes to play with girls

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz  August 30, 2010 06:00 AM

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Hi Barbara,

I have a 6-year-old son and I'm kind of worried about him. He's a first grader but since kindergarten, he just likes to play with girls, and his best friends are also girls. I find it kind of strange because he likes to play with cars, transformers... you know, boy stuff, and he also watches boys' cartoons. I just can't understand what's with just having girls as friends. I don't even think he's shy. I'd really like to understand him. Is it normal? Will he change that some day? Can I help him in some way? I'm from Mexico and I've been trying find anything like this in the internet without luck.

From: Adriana Q., Sonora, Mexico

Hi Adriana,

What you're describing sounds fine to me. You're describing a youngster who has many interests, including "boy stuff." That he chooses to play with girls may reflect the way girls play: They tend to be more collaborative than boys, to enjoy arts and crafts play, and to be less physical in their pretend play. Almost all boys go through a stage like this, just to a lesser degree than you are describing. I wouldn't discourage or encourage it, I would simply allow him to follow his interests.

See this entry on the same subject, an interview with early childhood educator Nancy Carlsson-Paige.


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4 comments so far...
  1. Didn't we have this letter already?

    Posted by poppy609 August 30, 10 09:43 AM
  1. The question really is, "Is my son gay?" Why not just come out and ask it?

    Posted by di August 30, 10 01:11 PM
  1. I feel like this is a letter that was posted months ago and being re-posted? Anyway, this sounds perfectly normal to me. Maybe your son has more girls around him in his classroom or program that he may be in.

    Posted by JD August 30, 10 02:30 PM
  1. Hi JD and geocool - Yes, we had a similar letter recently. Barbara linked to it in her answer. It was from a mother whose son wanted to dress like a princess.

    Posted by Angela Nelson, Boston.com Staff Author Profile Page August 30, 10 03:43 PM
 
4 comments so far...
  1. Didn't we have this letter already?

    Posted by poppy609 August 30, 10 09:43 AM
  1. The question really is, "Is my son gay?" Why not just come out and ask it?

    Posted by di August 30, 10 01:11 PM
  1. I feel like this is a letter that was posted months ago and being re-posted? Anyway, this sounds perfectly normal to me. Maybe your son has more girls around him in his classroom or program that he may be in.

    Posted by JD August 30, 10 02:30 PM
  1. Hi JD and geocool - Yes, we had a similar letter recently. Barbara linked to it in her answer. It was from a mother whose son wanted to dress like a princess.

    Posted by Angela Nelson, Boston.com Staff Author Profile Page August 30, 10 03:43 PM
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About the author

Barbara F. Meltz is a freelance writer, parenting consultant, and author of "Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Understanding How Your Children See the World." She won several awards for her weekly "Child Caring" column in the Globe, including the 2008 American Psychological Association Print Excellence award. Barbara is available as a speaker for parent groups.

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