Sally, you need to let your son continue counseling and get out of the way. If your son is moving on to college soon, his world should expand exponentionally and he will very likely be able to find people with similar interests and problems. If you do anything for him, assist his efforts at finding a school that is accepting and diverse, and where he can transition his counseling smoothly. Also, since you had to mention that you don't "think" he's gay, perhaps you have to examine how YOU might feel about that.

I would also have him speak with his counselor about the possibility of group therapy. This might be a way for him to "practice" his social skills.

Does he enjoy any activities? Music, art, woodworking, cooking, individual sports like running or martial arts? Sometimes getting out and pursuing an activity can be a backdoor into socializing for people who have difficulty making friends.

College transitions are hard so do your best right now to be supportive and really look into a great school that suits him. Keep a pulse on the depression thing, but don't be overwhelming!

He's probably gay. Talk to him about it. Be supportive.

If he likes English, would he be interested in theater? This was a great outlet for some in high school, even to just be a part of the stage crew or production and not an actor on stage.

Confused.

There's so many friends that can be made online via shared interests, especially for someone who likes writing.

Does he have no 'local' friends? Or no friends?

It's never too late for:

a Scrabble club

a choir

a debating club

community theatre

foreign language classes

a job at the Boston Globe

This son has been unlucky that teachers have not directed him into these or simiilar activities at school. Or maybe he needs to attend a school with high English scores. I think that refusing to hang out with "jocks" shows maturity and intelligence. Put this "ugly duckling" in with his own kind and he will have buckets of good friends.

Are there any clubs at school that interest him? Maybe a debate team? Joining a structured activity that interests him is a great way to meet others who share his interests and expand his social circle.

I wish you and your son the best. My son was similar. We were fortunate to have a school nearby that allows children to educate themselves as they see fit. It means lots of kids debating and arguing for much of the day. My son is now 23 and he articulated recently that he has always had to make compromises to have friends, but that it's been worth it. He played Dungeons and Dragons every weekend with a great group of kids even though he didn't particularly like the game. Perhaps your son would consider playing video games sometimes just for the company. Inviting a large group of boys to his own house would take some pressure off. Your main duty would be providing tons of great food! Another easy way to get teens together is to host a movie marathon.. My son hosted a "Back To The Future" (3 movies) marathon, for example. I wish you luck. I know how hard it is to watch your child suffer socially. He's got lots of company, even if he thinks otherwise. Hope college is in his future. It's a whole new ballgame and it's likely he will find more people who like to sit around debating anything and everything all day long.

Generally, I've found that these types of boys do great in extracurricular activities like drama; debate club; mock trial, etc. Even if he didn't want to act there are loads of non-acting jobs in any production. These groups tend to become huge cliques of their own, with everyone finding a place. It's too late for this now though. With college will come brand new opportunities to make friends, although it would be helpful if he could figure out why it is that he is being "left out" when he is with his peers.

Why have the age peers been leaving him out? Chances are that his vocabulary was many grades ahead of them at some point, and that's when they started avoiding him.

Didn't the school system address his high verbal skills in terms of more challenging coursework YEARS ago? Why not? And if they didn't, then they contributed to this alienation by forcing him to spend years of his life stuck with people that would never feel good being with him.

One side of the gifted-child situation is that the gifted child really needs to be with functional peers as much as with age peers. Have you been living in a place without public libraries or other resources?

This is stuff that GOOD therapy should have uncovered. Feeding him antidepressants instead of directing him to his natural peer group is not going to work. College will use his intelligence better, and he will find a good group to feel at home with.

I have three different friends whose sons are gay but their moms don't / didn't think so. Two of them suffered for years before finally coming out in/after college. One still has not come out to his parents.

I think you need to open yourself up to the possibility/probability that he is gay, or bi, or confused. Get yourself into acceptance and support mode and then bring it up gently. Check out Pflag and other organizations for info about how to have this conversation.

Best wishes

I also recommend suggesting theater, including community theater or regional teen programs outside of school. Theater kids tend to be more accepting and open minded and if he doesn't want to be on stage there are plenty of behind the scenes jobs to do. It's not too late, as some people have said. There could be time to find a spring production or something during the summer. I made a lot of new friends in the school musical second half of senior year.