My daughter came home from school today telling me that some little girl was making fun of her teeth. The thing is that that's not even the problem, she went and told the bus driver what was going on and she called her a tattle teller and when my daughter got of the bus, she yelled it out the window again. It made me very angry and I called the bus transportation. Should I say something to her face to face? The thing is I'm very angry.
From: Lupita, Baytown, TX
That behavior by the driver is inexcusable, and I don't blame you for being angry. I also don't blame you for calling the company, or the school, or for saying something to the driver, as long as you do it when you're no longer angry.
Good for you for knowing enough to stop yourself. Frankly, I wish more people could do that.
It's not just that an angry parent would have come across to the driver as irrational; it's also that you would have come across as a crazy person to your own child and to every child on the bus. Because chances are this exchange would only have escalated -- an adult who would say something like that to a child in the first place probably doesn't have much impulse control.
We all want to raise our children to successful and effective in society, and to have the respect of their peers. Our actions in moments like this are powerful role models, whether we intend for them to be or not. They also tend to be what children remember. You likely saved yourself from becoming "the lady who got crazy on the bus driver," and you saved your child from being the daughter of that lady.
What you do once your anger is under control is a different story. Then you can calmly but firmly tell the company and/or the school that what happened is not appropriate. You might even be able to say that to the driver. Then the model you present to your child is of a person who not only knows how to stand up for herself respectfully but also can do it in a way that respects others.
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