I have identical twin boys who are 3. One of them is your typical little boy who loves trucks, cars and anything super-hero related. The other twin loves all things girly. You name it and that is what he wants and wants to play with..Barbies, princesses, anything pink, etc. He went through a stage all he wanted to do was dress up in my clothes, however that doesn't seem very often these days.
No matter what we say or what we do, he always wants to see or look at the girl character..if we say Batman, he says Batgirl, if we say prince he says princess. He clearly identifies himself as a boy and does not say he wants to be a girl or anything like that but he is just obsessed about anything girl related. We know he is still just a kid but sometimes it's a little intense. He doesn't show much interest at all in trucks, cars or anything boy related.
I guess my question is, is this normal little boy behavior? It's been going on for awhile now. I just worry that if it continues, he is going to have a difficult time fitting in with our society not to mention the distant relationship he will have with his own identical twin brother. I would like to hear your thoughts.
From: Amy, Baltimore
What you're describing sounds like CGN, childhood gender non-conformity, which, simply put, means that a child's behavior does not conform to gender stereotypes. Is this a predictor of future sexual orientation? Possibly.
Don't be too surprised that identical twin boys could have different orientations. Researchers have concluded that there are enough differences in DNA to account for differences in sexuality. What's more, as you'll see from this article by a Globe colleague, what you're describing is not unusual among twins.
What I really want to talk about, though, is your assumption that he will have a "distant relationship" with his "all-boy" twin brother. Sounds like you are setting yourself up for a self-fulfilling prophesy, and then some. Do you expect twins to have the same academic or athletic interests? To love the same books or have the same taste in music? What if one twin was a girl and the other a boy? Would you expect them not to get along?
I know not all twins are best friends, but many twins are, starting from a young age when they develop their own twin language. I bet big bucks that the differences between them -- whatever they are -- won't be a problem between them unless you enable that to happen.