I am a single mom to my daughter, age 10. It's just me and her and we are very close. On weekends, I let her sleep in my bed and we hang out and chat and sleep in late. We really enjoy this but I want to make sure it is not harmful for her development. By the way, I don't plan on having a male relationship until she is grown up because she is my top priority, and haven't dated anyone since I broke up with her dad four years ago. Thanks for your insights!
From: Barbsboy, Townsend (no state given)
This would be a problem if...
....the conversations the two of you have are about you and your problems;
....you keep her up late at night so she's not getting the sleep she needs;
....you ask her to sleep in your bed because you're lonely and don't sleep well;
....you have to bribe her to get her to sleep with you;
....she turns down girl friends' slumber parties because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
Otherwise? I think it's a great way to stay connected and have fun together. In fact, I say, "Enjoy it while you can." She may turn a corner and decide it's too babyish. Many girls hit an age -- typically 12 + -- when they want to forge new connections with their mother based on their own cognitive and emotional growth. In order to get there, they often pick fights because, from the girl's perspective, it's the only way she can clarify and demand a recognition for the new person she sees herself to be. It's a stage that often confounds and upsets moms. Maybe you and your daughter will be ahead of the curve.