Good afternoon,,,, my 6.5 year old son prefers to plays with girls' toys. I have a question: can someone become gay if at some point in life he was sexually molested?
From: Sandra, Manassas, VA
No. No. No. Sexual molestation does not determine sexuality. Toy and play preferences don't either. And while we're at it, parenting doesn't "make" a child gay any more than therapy can "make" a child straight.
It sounds like you think -- or know -- that your child has been victimized. I can't tell you how sorry I am. Are you doing everything you can to keep your son safe and inaccessible to the person who abused him? I hope so! (Have you reported it to appropriate authorities?) I also hope you are getting your son professional help (start with your pediatrician) and that you get some help for yourself, as well. It's not easy to know how to talk to a child after something like this has happened.
Meanwhile, I think your real question isn't in your email. I think your real question is, OMG, I think my son might be gay. It's too soon to know one way or the other. What your child needs -- what any child needs -- is to know you love him unconditionally, no matter what or who he becomes. This question has been raised here many times and I hope these answers and readers' comments will be helpful to you.