Third grader is breezing through school work
Our son is just recently 9 and in 3rd grade. He is the oldest of 3. Our trouble is that everything comes naturally to him and he does not need to try. Nor does he feel the need to try to exceed his own capabilities. He is a natural student and athlete - gets 100s on every spelling and math fact quiz. We check his homework but he does the work himself in no time. All of his classwork comes home with elaborate drawings because he finished early and had extra time. We try to insist he should use the extra time to check his work and we when we ask did he do that, he says he forgot - but still gets everything right, so really what's the point of checking? In sports, he does not push himself, just hangs by the net and scores the goal.
We are glad he is happy and does well but life will not always be so easy and we are concerned he is not learning the skills to problem solve and stay motivated when things are tough. We don't know how to motivate him or even what motivates him. We have tried a variety of reward systems since kindergarten and at first he is interested and then just doesn't care anymore. It is driving us crazy - we are concerned that when he does hit a roadblock he won't be equipped to figure it out. We have spoken to his teacher and she agrees with our assessment and said she will talk to other teachers to get ideas - but so far nothing. Do you have any ideas?
From: Goldie, Everett, MA
Dear Goldie,
Don't wait for the teacher to get back to you. You've gone through the channels and haven't gotten help, so now it's time to make some noise. Go to the principal or the school psychologist. Here's your starting question: How can you and they work together to do right by your son? Being bored at school is not healthy. What's more, while I agree with the concerns you list, ie., not developing learning strategies, I would also add that you don't want him to feel that being smart is a negative.
You're not asking whether he's gifted -- and I'm certainly not in a position to say that he is or isn't -- but your email prompted me to call Barbara Swicord, executive director of the National Society for the Gifted & Talented which runs summer programs all over the country for kids, Summer Institute for the Gifted. What should parents do, I asked her, when they think their child is performing above grade level?
She said, "School systems are accountable, morally if not legally, for students to work at their level of ability. Sometimes that means accelerating a student."
If the system isn't able or willing to pay for testing, there are other ways to access his abilities. Educated observations (including your own) can be enough of a clue.The National Association of Gifted Children is another good resource, with a list of behaviors to look for as well as parenting advice.
Other ideas: Have you asked the teacher for extra work or for different work for him? Have you considered searching for an accelerated after-school learning program? What about finding a librarian who could turn him on to books at his level and then you read with him every night? What about an accelerated summer program? Swicord's summer programs have many ways other than testing for a child to show eligibility and the SIG does offer financial assistance.
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Please note that I am speaking March 6 in Needham, MA. The talk is open to the public and the topic is, "Raising Children in a Changing, Complicated and Sometimes Scary World." Click here for more info.

They probably do things differently these days, but I recall being tested and moved into accelerated classes at some point for the same reasons. It helped me to engage in school more fully. Do they still have such things, or are all kids in standard classes together regardless of ability? If so, how do teachers manage to accommodate the learning needs of children at either end of the continuum?
Since the letter author mentioned sports, I would also include encouraging your son to participate in some physically challenging activities that involve problem solving or physical ability so that he is challenged to perform on his own (canoeing, sailing, hiking;) or team building activities like an outward bound type of camp, where problem solving as a team is necessary for the success of all individuals. He may be on the young side now, but I think it would be a worthwhile pursuit.
I really wouldn't worry about it, he is a typical 9 year old! At this age, the most you can ask is that they are happy, follow directions, and get along well in a group. To "push yourself" you need to be goal-oriented, and that's something that comes later. If you are looking for challenge and opportunities for failure, sign him up for an extracurricular activity that he doesn't know, maybe learning a language or a new sport. Or do some volunteering with less fortunate families. In class, I'd just ask the teacher if he can read a book or do "extension activities" -- these are extra math and logic problems that in our school started at 3rd grade. But remember, there is nothing wrong with elaborate drawings either. He's a kid! Those creative moments are important -- look where it got Jeff Kinney ;)
I've had two go through 3rd grade, and it really isn't challenging (the kids are meant to do well on the tests, 100% is what the teacher wants). Middle school is where the work becomes difficult and that's when he'll need to develop coping strategies. I'd use these precious elementary years to help him become well-rounded, establish strong friendships, and discover the things he loves to do.
This kid routinely completes his homework on time when asked?
That is an effort in and of itself. Homework is always a chore, no matter how smart you may be, because you still have to bring it home, open the books and write down the answers legibly. If this boy is doing all that, then I don't see a huge problem.
School is not supposed to be hard for very smart kids until later, when it is more appropriate to track them.
If this boy is responsible for his age and passably happy, then perhaps a 'steady as she goes' policy is called for, instead of turning his world up-side down in an effort to contrive challenges for him.
The challenges will come soon enough, and if he is in the habit of doing his work, he should be able to meet them.
What are your son's interests? What is he curious about? How does he seek answers to his questions about the workings of the world? I am a teacher who regularly sees students who ably pass basic skills tests. Instead of trying to make your child a super tester, ask if he might be able to pursue his interests when his classwork is completed. What is he reading on his own? Does he enjoy looking at maps, drawing from nature, recognizing mathematical patterns, etc? These are the kids who understand that they are natural learners and have the keys to discover more on their own. Good for him to excel at classwork. Now he must extend himself by seeking meaning from those areas he doesn't understand but would like to know more about. Ask his teacher, nicely, if he can have some resources available to continue to learn about his interests.
By second grade, our daughter was already telling us that her teacher was too soft and didn't really teach enough. We spoke to the principal (not the "principle," by the way) and although things didn't change that year, she was placed in more challenging classes after that.
She's one of the top students at her college now, about to graduate with a degree in neuroscience.
You've got a son to be proud of. Take him to Museum of Science, and to Red Sox games. Don't worry about what's happening in school right now. If the school is any good at all, they will make adjustments.
Sounds like you're just irked that he's got it too easy, he needs some difficulty to build character.
If the school doesn't challenge your kid, you'll need to wait on those lessons. Checking and re-checking answers that you got right the first time is a pointless exercise.
He might enjoy some challenging enrichment material at home, though? Depends how you approach it...
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About the author
Barbara F. Meltz is a freelance writer, parenting consultant, and author of "Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Understanding How Your Children See the World." She won several awards for her weekly "Child Caring" column in the Globe, including the 2008 American Psychological Association Print Excellence award. Barbara is available as a speaker for parent groups.
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