The doctor is offering meds without neuropsych testing? That really concerns me. Please get your son evaluated, first.

We have a child with ADD/ADHD, and did notice lack of attention/focus in first grade and predicted the neuropsych report (child couldn't sit still as a toddler; but good behavior at school meant the issues were pretty much unnoticed by teachers until 3rd). Now, our second sounds more similar to yours--works VERY slowly (and, now in 2nd, is behind). This kid is not under the radar, and never has been--the slowness is very noticeable. Testing will take place very soon. It might not be ADD/ADHD. It could be slow processing speed, retrieval, etc.

Please get your child tested!

Good luck!

"But let me start by saying I'm wondering about your expectations: "Own his work and do it quickly"? This is first grade!"

Barbara, my daughter's kindergarten teacher is upset that she is not writing complete sentences. The expectations today are really ridiculous, but I can't say that without getting the what-an-overprotective-mom looks.

I wish I had advice for the LW, but it sounds like my little one is following the same path as hers. It's hard for easily distracted children to fit well into traditional classrooms -- hard for the children and hard for the teachers, too.

I feel so sorry for this six year old child, and all the others in this kind of school regime. It is truly incomprehensible to me that anyone thinks a six year old learns best by 'completing worksheets' - I'd check out, too, if I were him. Kids, especially at this early age, need to learn with their whole bodies, and need to experience the world with all of their senses. Why would anyone be bright, engaged and curious when their day consists of sitting at a desk completing paperwork? I strongly believe that the problem is not with this boy, but with the educational system in which he his trapped. Very, very sad.

I also have to agree that Barbara seems out of touch with the academic expectations for young children (K-2nd grade) these days. In my district, if your child isn't reading by the end of K they are recommended for summer school. Not kidding. First grade is even harder, very little free time and lots of worksheets. I have a friend with a son who sounds like yours. The parents are against medicating and are seeing a therapist to help give their son tools and strategies for managing school work. Teacher is also on board and helps him when he seems to be going off track in school. Best of luck.

The curious part to me is that both his kindergarten and first grade teachers said he was fine for the first semester of the year, but was going "off track" during the second. I wonder if the school changes their teaching methods or grading rubrics and behavioral standards in the second half of the year.

If there's something disordered with the child's brain, his behavior would be more consistent, not "good" for four months and then "bad" for four months. I would seriously look into what goes on at school before putting him on medication.

If I read you correctly, you are telling me that he is making the expected academic progress with minimal effort or work. Has the teacher tried giving him work that challenges him? Perhaps something hands-on rather than an endless stream of boring repetitive worksheets? I realize that as an adult he will be faced with the occasional boring and repetitive task, but he (hopefully) won't fill his days with them.

You should strongly consider an alternative educational environment, perhaps Montessori-based. The teachers are telling you that he is a bad fit for their school, he is a round peg that they are trying to fit into a square hole. You can try to change the child, but wouldn't it be kinder to change the school?

Maybe I should have noted, this story sounds exactly like our son. Tests show a slightly above-average IQ. Easily distracted, and a VERY slow worker at times. We anticipated the difficulties you are facing and sent him to a Montessori school. That didn't cure his "problems" (he is still distractible, still works slowly), but...

Now he is in 4th grade, working at a 5th-6th grade level in math, writing at a similar proficiency, competent in all academic subjects. And likely due to those hours spent reading over the last four years, when he was supposed to be doing his work, he has an 8th/9th grade understanding of science.

Should we have medicated him into submission so that he would be able to focus on grade-level worksheets?

The overuse of worksheets and the preponderance of "seat work" is one of the reasons I left public school and returned to my first love - preschool. The photocopier has become the enemy of creative, child centered education and boys in particular are paying the price.
At least the teacher is willing to work with LW to find some solutions. Perhaps she could set up a mini Lego center in the classroom as a reward for the "slow" workers: if they hand in their papers in the allotted time they can spend some extra time there.
Also, LW should purchase a small Time Timer clock (available on line). It's a valuable tool for helping children manage time on tasks. Good luck!

Hi, I teach high school. Every year, I see kids who have been shuffled through on 504 plans for ADHD and have been through a variety of meds, all on the say-so of a pediatrician.Then, in 9th or 10th grade, they finally fall so very far behind or act out so very badly, that they FINALLY get referred for a neuropsych eval and guess what...the kid has a specific learning disability in reading, or processing speed in the 5th percentile, or zero working memory, or an executive function disorder, or some combination.

And there are those poor parents kicking themselves for listening to one pediatrician for all those years (and all those useless meds). And there is that poor struggling teenager, who could have been getting appropriate services and learning appropriate strategies for the past 9-10 YEARS, and instead just felt stupider and stupider each year.

So please, please get the neuropsych eval. In Mass, the school is required to provide full educational testing if you request it in writing. Then if there is anything else you want that the school declines to provide, you will be paying an outside consultant only for the additional testing.

If it turns out he actually has ADD, or has seasonal affective disorder or is simply a late bloomer, the testing will tell you that, too, and you can strategize with the school or an advocate as to the best plan. Don't wait, there are lots of great strategies and tools once you know what's going on.

"Kids, especially at this early age, need to learn with their whole bodies, and need to experience the world with all of their senses"
VERY true, and kindergarten teachers know this and plan their days accordingly, however there are also appropriate expectations that a child this age be able complete some work that requires sitting quietly and focusing. Typically developing children with no learning difficulties do this everyday in classrooms all over the world. Making excuses for children who are unable to do so benefits no one. Please listen, don't argue with your child's teacher if they give you this type of information. They are doing it to HELP your child to succeed, they are not doing it to be critical of you or your parenting skills. They are not telling you this to "single out" or "label" your child. It is their JOB to identify children who are having difficulty with the expectations of their learning environment and believe me it is quite obvious to the teacher when a child is struggling. Get the testing done, yes it is time consuming and expensive now, but the price you will pay later is much greater if you do not get the info you need to help your child succeed in school. Good luck!

I second the first comment about neuro testing. It could be AD(H)D, executive function, a processing speed issue or something else entirely. You won't know without the complete round of tests and the tests will give you ammunition with the school if you need to ask for accommodations

Our oldest is exceptionally bright, but has clear ADD (you can have it without the H) with executive function deficits as well. Attention falls into two catagories, auditory and visual. You can have deficits in one but not the other. His are entirely auditory. We have been treating for 3 years now with behavior modification, a 504 accommodations plan, a CD set called The Listening Program and specialized computer program called Play Attention. It is a computer program that our therapist runs at his office. Biofeedback runs the "game" helping to retrain our sons brain to produce the desired focused brainwaves. I was skeptical at first but his teachers have reported great gains. His 504 details that his lesson planner is checked and signed every night. He has a checklist for packing his backpack at home and school, and another for what a well completed assignment should look like. All instructions must be written down. Our goal is for him to concretely learn how to balance his time properly, give his best effort so he will be able to moderate himself in college and adulthood. He is now in middle school and in the top tracks for all courses. He still needs his planner checked and is prone to forgetting his lunch but we have seen HUGE improvements.