Kathryn,

Lots of kids have a hard time with transitions. It often helps to give a child plenty of warning that the transition is coming. After all, even an adult would dislike it if, in the middle of something we were enjoying, someone told us we had to leave Right Now.

A countdown can be helpful, even for children too young to understand time. "We're going to leave the playground in 10 minutes, so finish up what you're doing in the sandbox." Then a warning at 5 minutes, 4, 3, 2, and 1. The actual timing is not important, and the minutes don't have to be accurate -- it is more of a transition ritual, but it also gives the child some adjustment time and shows that you value his need to finish up what he's doing. It also might not work the first time or two, until the child gets an understanding of what this countdown means, but it can be effective.

Countdown is a great strategy, as is using a timer. I use the timer on my iPhone often to indicate when time is up on a particular activity. It's also a good way to teach numbers. I would show my son the timer when it starts, part way through the countdown, then we dance to the ring tone when the alarm goes off. He never once protested or asked for time with that strategy.

Anything, anything but the verbalization, acting out, and reciting the script of your kid's behavior..."Oh, you feel X and you want to say Y and you would rather Z..." And especially not in the baby voice..."reallllyyy" Really? It's like being trapped in an episode of Caillou.

And I second Sandee...you have to give them warning. And while you don't need a big explanation, including something of a reason in your directions helps. "It's bedtime, put the toys away." "It's almost dinner time, you need to go wash your hands." Then they see, without you making a big deal out of it, that there are in fact reasons for things and they're not just being randomly ordered about.

Really good advice. Also, don't worry about what other people think. We all know that the kid is having a tantrum and silently praying that you don't give in to buying candy or whatever it was you just declined to do or asked the toddler to do. Try to not put yourself in situations where you might give in. Have a plan B for the supermarket and if Jr. has a meltdown, just walk away from your cart, go to your car and wait it out, or go home and get the frozen lasagna out for dinner. Leave extra time for after the planned playground departure so that a tantrum won't make you late for something.

I see so many parents capitulate because the tantrum is interfering with crucial shopping or a tight schedule or happens in a very public place. Back in the day it wasn't unusual to see a toddler lying on the floor of Woolworths or Newberrys, screaming and kicking, the mom just standing by quietly, and every one else giving the mom a knowing smile and walking down a different aisle.

I've had great luck with my son (20 months) by saying goodbye to the objects he's been involved with. So time to leave the park? I give a warning that we're going to go soon, so finish up what he's doing. Then, OK, let's say goodbye to the sandbox. Goodbye, slide! Goodbye, swings! By that point, he's pointing at things he'd like to say goodbye to - rocks, a speck of dirt, the grass, you name it. He takes my hand, and we walk away while saying goodbye to everything. Works like a charm, and since I started doing this we have never had a hard time leaving a place.

I agree with SandEE.

Every kid is different.

I would add, I always spent time with my son at pickup from daycare and be part of that transition (and I loved being part of his daycare experience). And at drop off, waiting two minutes while your chilld settles in is magic. Other parents would sweep in and attempt a dump and run or grab and run, that is hard on young kids.

You have five minutes...3 minutes...1 minute...lets go (and stick to the lets go) worked well for me. It also helps if others are leaving at the same time. Many times I have left a park a little early with my child so the other child would leave quietly as well.

If your boss walked in and said go home now, how would you feel? Flustered.

You said your child is 18 months which means your child should have some language skills. If your child throws a tantrum at home you should start trying to have your child articulate why they are throwing a tantrum. My daughter was about 18 months when I began asking her to. She now does it without my asking. Instead of sulking or throwing a fit she now tells me outright.
Also, try to make sure you don't do certain activities around nap time or meal times. I find my daughter is most cranky around those times because she's hungry or tired and I have better success either first thing in the morning or after nap time. My daughter still throws a fit when we're out in public but I have found that by ignoring it and continuing on as though it isn't happening can just make things worse. Talking to her seems to work. And in public places removing her from the situation and taking her to the car so we can talk it out works the best.

Very good advice. Have you tried the timeout method at all? I started it with my children around 20 months. They are 2.5 and 3.5 now. It removes the child from the negative environment. It's a positive method for disciplining a child. It has worked a lot in my household. You can also try Kiddy Timer app

www.limefuse.com/KiddyTimer/

I would also offer the following advice: Parents with a tantrumming child often feel *EMBARRASED* by the behavior. After all, other adults will stop and watch. However, as in Barbara's anecdote, most often they are simply empathetic to the parent. For every set of eyes you think are criticizing your parenting, there really are a dozen which are remembering when their children used to tantrum just like that.

All of these comments are so wise and helpful!
Even when my boys were somewhat older, I would give them a "2-minute-warning" before they had to clean up and get going from somewhere. Then, the times when I wanted them to hurry-up a little I would sing the old cowboy giddy-up song while pointing at what they needed to grab to go!
It's kind of hilarious now. Even as teenagers who I want to hustle along out the door, I start singing the giddy-up song and they naturally start to hurry it up!

I recorded my son on a tape recorder when he had one and played it back to him later so he could hear it when he was calm. The next couple of times he would start, I played the tape and he would get all mad but the tantrums stopped cold. He is now 18 years old and doing very well so I don't think I scared him for life with it.