PTSD is becoming peoples fall back "excuse" for validating their behavior. It is not acceptable. It is overly used and probably overly diagnosed. Whatever his excuses are do not matter. I agree with Barbara it is a matter of time before it becomes physical. I would not ever put it past someone like this to hurt you OR YOUR CHILD. I know there will be people who have better advice for you because they may have been through similar sitiuations. But I am not for keeping a marriage together when it is dangerous for you or your child to be there. CALL that hotline Barbara gave you as well as a good attorney.

Barbara is right. At any point, he could decide that hitting you is acceptable. Do you want to be on pins and needles waiting for that point? What about when your daughter becomes his target? Before you think he would never do that, remember, there was a time (I imagine) when he would have never spoken to you that way. He says he'll get better but is he actually doing anything to get better? You don't mention anything. PTSD doesn't just go away in due time. I don't believe it goes away at all. A person needs to actively be doing something to treat it so they can handle PTSD. Most importantly, stop thinking of HIM. Thinking of yourself isn't even as important as thinking of your CHILD. Your husband and you have choices. You chose to be together and you can choose to be apart. Your daughter has no choices. She depends on you to make the best choices for her. You know what you need to do. It's not going to be fun or simple but you need to leave.

For the record, the behaviour described here has nothing to do with PTSD. Maybe the video gaming and excuse-making and poor driving can be traced to ADHD, specifically untreated ADHD... but the rudeness to his wife? No that's not from either. Perhaps PTSD would make him react in an exaggerated way to a perceived threat, but not simply a threat to his "stature" or masculinity or whatever he is supposedly threatened about when calling her stupid. For example if she cheated on him with drug dealers, or was out for two days and never called, he might explode more than the average guy. Or if she snuck up and surprised him in a supposedly funny scary joke he might throw a fit. But just being a general jackhole? No. That's all on him and his immaturity.

The Jewish Family and Childrens Services in Waltham has free services for women in your situation. They will advise you and help you make a safety plan for leaving. I used them - it was a huge support for me.

It's only going to get worse. Call the HOTLINE now. Get out; save yourself and your child. Only you can help her. No one else can take action.

This man has some serious mental health concerns that you cannot help him with. The behavior described is certainly damaging and the driving downright dangerous. Write everything down that happens, get a good divorce lawyer, and tell the local cops what is going on asap - if you feel like you are in danger, get out of his way as fast as you can. So sorry this is happening to you all.

It's good strategy to see a divorce lawyer and get your financial ducks in a row before you separate. I think Clare's advice is spot on.