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Child Caring

This mom needs to leave


[This letter has been condensed and edited. BFM]
My husband has PTSD and ADHD we have a 2 year old little girl. I'm struggling with whether or not it's time to leave. [I keep hearing] "he has PTSD -- don't give up on him he will get better" but my life is hell and I'm afraid it will ruin my daughter's life as well by staying with him. Here is a typical day with him: first he is addicted to a video game called eve, he is on it constantly. If you tell him he is on too much, he makes excuses, he will also argue or complain if you ask him to do anything..... He is also VERY verbally abusive calling me names like ..., idiot, stupid ... etc. When it comes to driving, he thinks he belongs in NASCAR speeds all the time and has terrible road rage. This is constant. I get frustrated, we fight and I'm just so distraught because all of this behavior is in front of my daughter. If I ask him to stop or say something like don't call me names, he says na na boo boo, and patronizes me.

I think I should leave and so I have been planning ways to keep money hidden from him, buy a car and move out. Counseling hasn't helped and did I mention EVERYTHING is my fault. He will blame me for everything. He thinks physical abuse is worse than verbal abuse, and that verbal abuse causes no harm. His explanation is because police wouldn't do anything if I called 911 and said someone was calling me names. But the negativity is killing both me and my daughter. PTSD has ruined my marriage. I don't want it to ruin my daughter.... He also threatens regularly to take my daughter away in a custody battle if I say I want to leave. HELP!!!
From: Georgette, Houston, TX


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Dear Georgette,

You are 100 percent right that this will affect your daughter. I also agree with your evaluation that you need to leave. You can always make it a trial situation, contingent on him getting the help he needs. I hope you have supportive and loving people in your life who can help you. Here's the number of a hotline in Houston that can help you with any of your questions.

You say he has not been physically abusive. I urge you to get out before that happens. Sounds like it's just a matter of time.