I read your article about boys who have strong preference playing with girls, but my question goes further, my 6yo is also interested in playing only with girls and quiet play, this less concerns me, what bothers me is that he always says he wants to be a girl and wished he had a magic wand to change his body parts to a girl, this has been since he was very little and hasn't changed, he also says he wished he could put lipstick and eyeshadow, he never tried to dress up as a girl and he does like some boys things, not many though. Should I be concerned that he might be a transgender? or could this be just a phase?

From: Worried Mom, West Hartford, CT

[Ed note: the answer addresses these two similar questions]

1. In case you do any follow-up from your article in 2009, Her 4-year-old won't eat, I would want to know if having an alternative in the refrigerator defeats the whole purpose. I can't imagine my son trying something new if he knows something he likes or somewhat likes is available instead. He's stubborn to the nth degree. If he's hungry at meal time he'll make up for it at another meal or snack. If it's at night, he'll wait until breakfast. Even though he won't be happy. Nothing I read seems to work. :-(
Also, can't the child just fill up on the one food s/he likes? Or do you give a limited amount of the one food? That's what I see my son do at times.

In response to your question and answer about "potty trained at daycare but not at home"... My little guy seems to be the same way. He will be 3 in two weeks and my sitter says he has been willing and able to use the big potty and wear underwear at her house. With my husband and I, however, the talk of underwear and the potty brings tears and seemed tress[ful] so we haven't pushed it and have really backed off. My sitter doesn't really seem to agree with this- she now also wants to stop since she claims I am confusing him. I had originality thought she could keep it up at her house and told her so as long as there were no tears and stress since my husband and I aren't comfortable with that. What do you think? Lay off at daycare as well and hope that training at home will come? Or keep it up at daycare and maybe this will help it happen at home too? Thanks so much for your help!!!