I have a 16 year old son who has used marijuana at times over the last two years. We have grounded him, taken privileges away, etc but have maintained a loving, helpful relationship with him and have driven home the point that we love him unconditionally. Last night he came home high and we found pot in his car. He has had his driver's license 3 weeks and we have a driving contract wherein he agreed that using / having / storing drugs was not allowed and he would lose driving privileges. There are many things in life he has right - everyone talks about what a good kid he is, he makes good grades, etc. However he continues to fall back into the same routine. We are a christian family and live in a peaceful, loving home where we teach our boys that God loves them and so do we, and that they will never be perfect and we don't expect them to be. I'm not sure where to go from here. Do we just stick with the driving contract and say he can't drive for 2 weeks and then give him back the keys? Do we ground him as obviously can't be trusted to be where he says he will be?

My grandson is 2 1/2 and his sister is 7 mos old. He will head butt her, pinch smack or whatever he can do to her. My daughter is going crazy. The worst is if we are out and he sees a baby in a stroller or in someones arms he will run to them like obsessed with them. He will gaze at them or pull them almost out of their moms hands. He will swing or headbutt all the above. Why is it that he is so mean to babies ?? My daughter won't take him to the park or anywhere lately she is frightened. Is something wrong with him ? Please we are searching for help.
Thank you

Hello,

From: Renee,Catasaqua, PA

I have a 8 year old grandson who's always liked to play with Barbie dolls. My son, his Dad, throws a fit if I let him play with them at my house. He's always liked them from birth on. I sneak and let him play with them at my home. Is this wrong? I sometimes worry why he likes them so much, but see nothing wrong in letting him be who he is. He is a great, sensitive, caring and mannerly child. Please, I need some feedback on this issue.
Thank you
From: Debbie, Hustonville, KY

My son is 6 years old...He does not play with boys and some times he acts like a girl! We don't know what to do.... other kids at the after school [are] calling him a GAY!
So please let me know something about it!
Thank you so much!

We have an only child, four year old son. He is fun and happy and does well in preschool. His issue is he seems disinterested in any extra curricular activities. While we don't care if he is the best of the bunch, we want him to learn activities and how to be part of a team. He has taken swim, baseball and soccer classes (not at the same time, one a season) and hasn't taken to any. He is ok once he gets there but complains the entire time going. Sometimes he just refuses to participate once there. Are we doing something wrong? is this too soon? thanks

After 21 years of looking, I finally found the mother of my child. I knew she had a baby 21 years ago, thought it could be mine and just found out that I am the father. Obviously there was no child support paid because I could not find her. She is reluctant to let me see my child. I do not want to cause any problems in their family but I really want to meet my child. How should I proceed in convincing the mother I am not a threat to her relationship with her daughter. I just want to meet her and hopefully develop a relationship with her. Please advise.

No question today, just a rare vent.

I was the speaker last night at Barefoot Books in Concord, (a fabulous book store, more on that another time) at an event for mommy bloggers, co-sponsored by Boston Parent Bloggers and Raising a Reader Massachusetts. Billing me as "Boston's Original Mommy Blogger," they wanted me to talk about how I managed to separate my own parenting experience from my 19 years of writing the Globe's parenting column, which I began when my son was 6-months old.

The truth is, it was never hard. I don't ever remember writing in the first person and rarely referred to my son. That was for safety reasons, sure, but mostly it had to do -- at least in the beginning -- with the baggage I brought to the job: I was a news reporter, schooled to keep myself out of the story. By the time my son was 4, though, I also came to the realization that keeping him out of my copy was in his -- and our -- best interests. By our, I mean, our relationship.

Last night, I gave these moms the advice I lived by: "Keep your kids out of your blogs, -- don't use their names and certainly don't use their pictures." No matter how cute they are, how charming the stories, no matter that your children may be too young to know you're writing about them, it can come back to bite you. Most children do not want the public's attention on them, even in a good way, and what they don't seem to mind at age 3 or 4 or 7 or 8 could turn someday into resentment: "Mom! How could you?!"

In that context, it made sense that one of the moms asked my opinion about this week's Time magazine cover. I hadn't seen it, so someone pulled it up on their phone.

I'm not talking about the content, which is on attachment parenting; the content is beside the point.

Even if this mom was willing (and I assume she was) to pose as provocatively as she did and to include her own son in the photo, wasn't there someone who could have said to her, "You know, you might want to rethink this picture...."

And even if she said, "It's OK, honest," surely some of Time's journalists are also parents, not to mention former kids themselves who might remember being embarrassed by something their mom did, something big that might have put a dent in their relationship, something that might have been, well, as hard to live down as this photo will be? Surely someone could have said, "We may just be ruining this kid's life by putting this picture on our cover. Do we really want to do that?"

Shame on you, Time.

Oh. And just for the record, moms nursing older children isn't exactly a new trend. Here's my column on the subject.

I am a single mom to my daughter, age 10. It's just me and her and we are very close. On weekends, I let her sleep in my bed and we hang out and chat and sleep in late. We really enjoy this but I want to make sure it is not harmful for her development. By the way, I don't plan on having a male relationship until she is grown up because she is my top priority, and haven't dated anyone since I broke up with her dad four years ago. Thanks for your insights!

[This letter has been condensed and edited.]

Hi Barbara.