Hello Barbara,
My 12-year-old daughter, in 7th grade, just mentioned to me and my husband that she showers with her friends when they have a sleepover. We could not conceal our surprise at this, and both my husband and I are uncomfortable with it. I asked her why and she said they "just do." I asked if there was any touching or comparing going on and she exclaimed "No Mom! We're not lesbians." I was eavesdropping as she and her friend were in the shower, and I could hear their conversation, and it does seem that it's innocent according to what I could hear. She sees nothing wrong with it, and she's done this with other friends at other sleepovers. Is this normal? All seems fine otherwise. Thanks very much!

From: NHMom, Nashua

Barbara, My 3 1/2 year old son is afraid of Santa - so much so that he doesn't want Santa to come to our house even if it means foregoing presents. I asked if he wanted Santa to leave the presents outside, with a neighbor or with my parents who live an hour away and he said no. He was so upset about the idea of Santa coming to our house that I had to pretend to email Santa to tell him not to come. Whenever Christmas or presents or even the holidays in general are mentioned, he tells me that Santa is not coming to our house (pretty much every day). He has books about Santa that he likes and likes to hear stories about Santa but there's no way I can convince him to let Santa come even if I tell him that Santa can get him much better presents that his father and I can. I offered to let him sleep with us on Christmas Eve but that didn't work. I really want my son to have the Santa Christmas experience. Is there anything I can do? Thanks for your help.

Hey, Yes I'm 16 and I'm 8 months pregnant. What does a baby really need?
From: Latrice, Shreveport, LA

Barbara, Please help. When my daughter was 2 years old she told me she wanted to be a boy. Everyone told me she would grow out of this. She has always played with both boy and girl toys. Wears clothing both boy and girl. She is fascinated with batman and superman. She is now 5. She refuses to wear pink or anything girly. She says that is for girls and she is a boy. She is in kindergarten and tells the other kids she is a boy. Her father is absent. She has a few positive male role models in her life. My father and 2 brothers. When she plays with my niece she is so rough and aggressive and truly has characteristics that resemble the behavior of a little boy. She told me over the course of 6 weeks about a little girl who is in the 2nd grade and is in her after school program. Now... she tells me she "like likes her." The other little girl draws her pictures gives her things and my daughter always tells me she is beautiful etc. I am teaching my child socially this is this and that is that "but if that's how you feel, I love you no matter what." My question is ..... For the best interest of my daughter's psychological well-being, how do I handle this gender issue, of her wanting to be a boy, when she is a girl and only 5 years old?

Hi Barbara,
My six-and-a-half-year-old daughter is very slow in eating and writing. Only if I shout at the top of my voice she listens to me. First I tell her very soft and nicely, then I lose my temper and shout - only then she does her work. For example, her homework, changes her uniform, wash hands when you come home. One more habit which has been there from 2 years of age, she holds and twists her hair and now she is losing hair, too. She does this while drinking milk, while watching TV, while writing, sleeping etc. Please help.

From: Ginny, Bangalore

Hi Barbara,

From: Michelle, New York

Question: In the past year, my 14-year-old daughter has begun a nasty and disgusting habit -- she chews her fingernails off and the skin around them. Outside of school (and other similarly public venues), she nearly always has a hand in her mouth, and in her trail, she leaves bits of skin and nail all over the house. It is particularly evident on the dark couch after she's been watching TV for awhile. Her nails are a mess -- red and chewed up, plus I'm concerned about the germs going in, particularly with the swine flu treat for her age group. I've suggested she sit on her hands, wear gloves, etc., but she's not interested in stopping. How can I get her to drop this awful habit?

Barbara, we want to know if it's wrong to give kids everything they want and how to have fun with them better ways.
From: Jimmy W, Knoxville, TN

My son is 7 1/2 and is in second grade. His first month of school went very well, but then something changed. He dreads going to school now. I have contacted the teacher and the after-school program. There is no apparent reason for his unhappiness. He is doing well with the work, but gets easily frustrated. He has crumpled up papers and said they are too messy. Little things going wrong make him sit down and cry. Being told to put on his jacket to go outside can bring him to tears.

From: Worried Mom, N. Attleboro

Hi,

From: bigmommasea, Seattle