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Mom: Stop blaming the friend who's a "bad influence."

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz September 21, 2012 06:00 AM

Hi Barbara,

Three and a half years ago my husband had an affair with a neighbor. She and I weren't friends but we were friendly since we had children in school together. Our kids are now 13 and 16. I've since found out that she is not well-like in town. My husband and I separated and they stayed together for a few years but are now apart. My daughter never liked her daughter because she was the mean girl at school. They never played together or hung out. My daughter's friends weren't allowed to play with this girl either. After our separation when my husband had his visitation times, he would sleep at the girlfriend's house creating an environment that made my daughter have to play with her's. The girls eventually became friends since they were together so much. This girl is still the mean girl and she's rubbing off on my daughter. My daughter was never disrespectful to me, mean to other children or anything like that. She is a very good kid. She gets excellent grades and plays 2 sports. But lately she has been very disrespectful to me, talking back, gossiping about other girls, swearing and things like that. Now that my husband and this woman are no longer together, I don't want my daughter at her house. Even though I don't like that she's friends with this girl, I told her she can be friends with her but I don't want her hanging out at her house due to my feelings about this woman. This causes a huge fight everytime I find out that she's over there. My daughter always uses the excuse that the woman isn't home when they're there. I also think the girls shouldn't be in the house alone. Other parents have told me they don't let their children play there because there is no adult supervision a lot of the time. Obviously I despise this woman and don't want her near my children. Both my kids are aware of the affair. Am I wrong to not want her in that house?


Uh oh. She hates first grade already

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz September 13, 2012 06:00 AM

My 6yr old just started 1st grade and hates it. The first 3 days of school were ok. After that she cries every morning on the way to school and into the building. Daughter loved preschool and would cry if she had to miss a day. We didn't have a problem with kindergarten. My child was put into a inclusion class this yr. I am wondering if that has anything to do with her not wanting to go. Her complaint is that she doesn't have any of her friends in her class. I tell her that she has to make new friends. What should i do?

From: Jenn, VA


About the author

Barbara F. Meltz is a freelance writer, parenting consultant, and author of "Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Understanding How Your Children See the World." She won several awards for her weekly "Child Caring" column in the Globe, including the 2008 American Psychological Association Print Excellence award. Barbara is available as a speaker for parent groups.

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