all entries with the category


Head-butting toddler is...... jealous?

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz May 29, 2012 06:00 AM

My grandson is 2 1/2 and his sister is 7 mos old. He will head butt her, pinch smack or whatever he can do to her. My daughter is going crazy. The worst is if we are out and he sees a baby in a stroller or in someones arms he will run to them like obsessed with them. He will gaze at them or pull them almost out of their moms hands. He will swing or headbutt all the above. Why is it that he is so mean to babies ?? My daughter won't take him to the park or anywhere lately she is frightened. Is something wrong with him ? Please we are searching for help.
Thank you

From: Teri, Lodi, NY


Boyfriend needs to go, for kids' sake

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz November 21, 2011 06:00 AM

My 4 year old face's was a little black and blue with scratches on them when I came home. He said that my boyfriend hit him and called him some bad names. When I asked my boyfriend if that's what he did and why, he said that my 4 year old was pushing my 2 year old and arguing with my 2 year old and being bad. My boyfriend then said that he did not hit him but instead he grabbed my 4 year old by the arm, threw him on the couch, and grabbed his face. Told him to stop being a bad boy. However, my son has marks on his face to prove something more than that happened. Could he have gotten the marks on his face from fighting his little brother then blaming it on my boyfriend? But the two have always been very fond of each other. In fact, they tend to cuddle with each other, hug one another, hold hands when we are out in public, and my 4 year old is always asking where my boyfriend is when he isn't around?

From: CuriousMom, Snowy City, US


Gardner mom and her garden-eating toddler

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz June 1, 2011 06:00 AM


I have an almost 3 year-old. We're in the country and have a big vegetable garden and my husband and I are big outdoors people. Our son enjoys being out there with us and we're happy to think we will raise a gardener! But he wants to "taste" everything! I have to watch him constantly, constantly telling him, No! don't eat that, or needing to slap something out of his hand before it gets to his mouth. It's spoiling being outside and I am miserable.

How do I teach him that some of what grows is good to eat, just not all of it.
How will he learn not to eat something dangerous?! What can I do? When he was younger, we had him in a back or front-pack but he loves to run around!

From: Rural Gal from NJ


Playmate's house doesn't feel safe

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz January 26, 2011 06:00 AM

I am looking for some moral support and direction. There are some issues in the home of my elementary-aged children's friends. For a while I have been concerned that one of the parents is using drugs and about the presence of prescription drugs in the house, unlocked and in plain view on bedside tables, for example. I do try not to have my children over unsupervised by me, but it is getting harder as they get older. Their friends are lovely children. I don't want to cut off contact, but I noticed their parent nodding off and looking high today during a playdate. I am really torn. I do not want to speak to the family directly about this (I have in the past, pointedly, i.e. "if you have medications or drugs lying around and/or are using I cannot let my kids in your home." It did no good, of course). Other than banning my kids from this household, which I am again feeling I must do, how to deal with this?

From: Elem Mom, Anonymous location


Would you use equipment that's been recalled?

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz January 6, 2011 06:00 AM

Dear Barbara,

I'm mom to a wonderful 3-year-old little girl and have a second baby on the way, due in April. Since my daughter was born, her high chair and crib have both been recalled. And now that I'm looking at her infant car seat, it's definitely not in the greatest shape. Where do I draw the line? Safety is my top priority, of course, but budget is also a concern. The crib was new with my daughter and is in great shape, but it's a drop-side crib. Can I still use it? Or is it safer to buy a new one? Same with the high chair. And the car seat, not expired, is just heavily used (the material is worn from washing, the handle to the carrier came off but I think will go back on, etc.). Should I be concerned? I would like to keep my new baby as safe as possible without breaking the bank.

From: Gershurd, Easton


Pit bulls & babies

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz November 12, 2010 06:00 AM

Are there real dangers in having a baby around pit bulls, or are all the concerns a reflection of some dogs not being raised properly? Should my wife be concerned to bring our new baby home to a house where I have a pit bull? The dog has always been well behaved.

Am I being unreasonable keeping the dog? I certainly don't want any danger for the baby.

I look forward to your advice.

From: Justadad, Woburn


At what age can you just drop kids off at a public pool?

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz August 4, 2010 06:00 AM


My husband has full custody of his daughter. Her mother gets visits twice a month and six weeks in the summer. We just found out that the ex is dropping my step daughter, who is 9, and her sister, who is 8, off at a public pool. I was ticked to find this out and so was my husband. The ex told my husband that there are lifeguards there who keep an eye on them. I feel like the lifeguards are not there to babysit the children. Am I wrong? At what age is it ok to leave the children alone at the pool?

From: New1247, Walla Walla, WA


Gun safety with babies around

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz April 14, 2010 06:00 AM
I have a 9-month-old daughter, and her dad and I have split up.  He has a .45 and he owns rifles that he uses to go hunting.  He keeps the rifles in his gun safe but has his .45 sitting in a drawer right next to the baby's crib.  I feel that is very unsafe and I was wondering if it's illegal not to have a gun locked up in a gun safe, especially if you own one.  Someone told me that it's illegal to have a gun sitting in a drawer like that, especially with a baby around.  It's not safe and he could get in trouble for it.  Is that true?

From: RJeepgurl, Douglasville


City-imposed curfews: Do they really keep kids safe?

Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse December 9, 2009 10:58 AM

Malden is considering a curfew for its teenagers after late-night violence has rippled through the city. “We’re trying to help them to stay safe, to keep them from getting into mischief,’’ Ward Six Councilor Neil Kinnon, chairman of the ordinance committee, told the Globe's Kathy McCabe.

But as McCabe's article on points out, the people who are making trouble aren't necessarily teens -- and a late-night curfew might not solve the problem. In the first nine months of this year, 984 people were arrested in Malden, 55 of them juveniles. And only 11 of those kids were arrested after 9 p.m., according to Malden Police Chief Kenneth Coye.

Coye said most nighttime crime, such as vandalism or car break-ins, is committed by adults between 6 p.m. and midnight.

So what's the real point of the curfew? And does trying to enforcing an arbitrary one like this just encourage kids to break it?


Car seat safety

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz September 24, 2009 06:00 AM

My 2-year-old grandson is able to unlatch all the belts holding him in on his car seat. I don't believe he is the only one able to do this. Does anyone know of something that can be purchased to cover the latches, like a sheath or something, or how you were able to correct this. It is impossible to drive anywhere alone with him, there has to be someone in the back seat to make sure he doesn't get out of the seat. Thank you for any assistance you can provide. Thank you.
From: Donna, Georgetown


About the author

Barbara F. Meltz is a freelance writer, parenting consultant, and author of "Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Understanding How Your Children See the World." She won several awards for her weekly "Child Caring" column in the Globe, including the 2008 American Psychological Association Print Excellence award. Barbara is available as a speaker for parent groups.

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