[Ed's Note: This letter has been condensed.}
I have a wonderful son. He's healthy, happy and very smart. He's a great brother to his siblings....He's always been a rule follower, ... never one to take risks and seems to need to really think things through before going forward with anything new. We know that about him and we've allowed him to make his accomplishments in his own time.
He as well seems to consistently need acknowledgement from us and others. As a busy mother of 3 there are times when I cannot respond to his question/issue/idea right away. He seems to at times lack the understanding that just b/c I can't get to his issue right away, doesn't mean I'm not able to help in later or respond to him later.
My concern also comes from his interaction with other kids his age. Seeing him interact with other kids, we find he can take the role of the submissive. He's always being told "you have to be 'it'" during a game of tag, or other issues of the like. When I attempt to talk to him about it, he tells me, "I have to be, Mom, if I don't, the kids will just keep telling me I do."
We try to help him find other ways to respond to these situations but I'm not sure they are working or he's even using them.
We wonder in a way how do we make our son more assertive? Do we even try? Is this just who he is or is it something to do with age? In a pack mentality that I see on the school playground and in other groups, it breaks my heart to see him treated this way.
My husband and I try very hard not to interfere and allow him to find his own way, but it gets hard when you know what's going on and how other kids are treating him. In a way, I'm not sure he really sees what happening.
I guess we wonder if these issues are just being his age (7years 6 months) are more of his style/personality or a deeper issue that we need to address with his pediatrician.
From: LovingMom, Merrimack Valley, MA/NH