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This separation tantrum isn't typical

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz October 5, 2012 06:00 AM

Hi there, I really hope you can help me with this or at least point me in the right direction. I am a 30 year old single mum to my daughter who will be 3 in April.

I started college at the beginning of September and put her into their nursery. We had 3 days of settling in which went down fine - as there were no other kids, just the adults.
When it came to my first day, she was in from 9-3pm - there was an incident where she had been really upset and they tried to contact me to come out of class but was told I had left (even though I was next block along) they basically left her to cry the entire day and didn't try my emergency contacts. As you can imagine, she was distraught! Ever since she has not been able to settle. I kept her in for 4 weeks in the hope she would get used to it (we did shorter days and I picked her up at 12) but every time I went to collect her, I was told that she cried the entire time. She won't play, eat or drink! I tried a week of me being in the room with her and then leaving for 5 minutes and then coming back etc but she only lasted an hour on these days and would cry to me asking to go home.

I then tried a childminder and found a lovely lady and Olivia seemed happy playing in her house with toys etc and today was the first day I left her. I picked her up at 12:30 and was told she cried the whole time, wanted 'up' all the time and was miserable. She then told me that it was too much with my daughter and the other 2 kids she had. So now I'm really stuck . What's wrong with her? Have I babied her too much. How do I help the situation. I don't honestly know what to do. Please help!!

From: MG, Glasgow, Scotland


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Uh oh. She hates first grade already

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz September 13, 2012 06:00 AM

My 6yr old just started 1st grade and hates it. The first 3 days of school were ok. After that she cries every morning on the way to school and into the building. Daughter loved preschool and would cry if she had to miss a day. We didn't have a problem with kindergarten. My child was put into a inclusion class this yr. I am wondering if that has anything to do with her not wanting to go. Her complaint is that she doesn't have any of her friends in her class. I tell her that she has to make new friends. What should i do?

From: Jenn, VA


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About the author

Barbara F. Meltz is a freelance writer, parenting consultant, and author of "Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Understanding How Your Children See the World." She won several awards for her weekly "Child Caring" column in the Globe, including the 2008 American Psychological Association Print Excellence award. Barbara is available as a speaker for parent groups.

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Barbara answers questions on a wide range of topics, including autism, breastfeeding, bullying, discipline, divorce, kindergarten, potty training, sleep, tantrums, and much, much more.

Send your questions to her at:
meltzbarbara (at) gmail.com.
Please include your name and hometown.

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