I completely agree. Staying at home would be nice but it is not how our society has been set up. My husband and I have done the numbers over and over and having me stay at home is not an option. The health insurance alone makes it worthwhile for me to work. Social security on the other hand is a moot point. There won't be any left by then.

Great point, well put.

I do wish the Globe would reconsider filing this story under the "Mom" column, however. As Ms. Noonan points out, this is an issue for the whole family and whole society/economy to think about.

Sorry but how does staying at home equate to 'zero professional skills'? Do you think you may be exaggerating the costs of staying at home so that you can more easily justify choosing to work? Life doesn't have to be about money and an ever growing nest egg. For a short period of time it really can be about raising your own child and not competing with your husband for the better benefits package from work. Anyone who wants to stay home can make it happen and not ruin themselves or their future.

I am sorry but "Anyone who wants to stay home can make it happen and not ruin themselves or their future." is not true at all - my husband & I struggled to find a way for either one of us to stay home but with the cost of a family plan (health insurance) on top of everything else - it just isnt possible - we live very conservatively, dont drive new cars etc. The math still just doesnt work. Our daycare payment is more than our mortgage & we are counting down the days our little one is in school full time so we dont have that expense. We would love to have other children but we are realistic & know that we really cant afford to, even with both of us working full time.

Staying at home is completely do-able for some, not for others. I think there are far fewer that truly can not, it is a personal choice people make. Staying at home does not equate to zero skills, I have been home for almost nine years and I am very active and involved in my community and my skills are current because I work hard- all hours of the day, night and weekends. At this point in my life I am focusing on my family and simply choose to not worry about having the biggest nest egg on the block come retirement. Because of the choices my family makes we will likely always live simply and that is just fine with me.

Whether it is by choice or not, two parents working outside the home is a significant issue for many families. There are benefits and drawbacks to both scenarios. However, any financial planning book targetting families should at least explore the financial aspects of this most important decision.

Thankfully Ramsey's plan, while well-marketed, is not rocket science. There are many great books and articles exploring these issues. One of my favorites is the 60% Solution article on the MSN Money website. Very flexible to meet every family's needs.

I agree with yout overall point, however "several decades" is a huge exaggeration for how long a parent would have to be out of the workforce to avoid childcare costs. 2 kids spaced at about 3 years apart would take 8-9 years to get to the point where childcare costs drop dramatically (K or 1st grade depending on if your town has "full day" K) and most folks don;t pay for childcare after age 13, afaik.

The cost of daycare/preschool varies so greatly that I do think in some areas it would be a more negligible cost. Obviously not the case around here by and large.
However, I agree with some of the other posters in that staying at home does not equate to zero skills. I think that anyone who like myself actually does everything outside of actually making the money and paying the bills has some pretty good management skills and a crap load of patience! I don't devalue what my husband does and he doesn't devalue what I do. We both know we would not survive without the other doing their share of the load. In our case I am at home with our kids a minimum of 100 hours a week and still manage to get it ALL done and he manages to grow his own business in the largest economic downturn since the Depression. Maybe if your other half is an employee the nest egg can't grow as much as a dual worker family but in our case that's just not the case. We benefit greatly from my staying at home and while it may not be a professional skill I do get quite an opportunity to watch my children grown.
Just my own two cents.

I call bs.

Admitted, I'm a Dave Ramsey fan, but to extrapolate a missing line item from a worksheet to some sort of statement on working Mothers based on a conservative agenda is ridiculous.

This reeks to me of a bored blogger trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill.

Ingrid, parents may not pay for after school care for kids once they reach middle school, but there are child care costs for summers. I don't know many parents who'd willingly leave a houseful of young teens alone 40+ hours a week all summer long.

And a mother or father who's been completely out of the workforce for 8-10 years may have a very difficult time returning at the same level without investing in retraining/updating of skills.

My calculation says that 50% of my salary would pay taxes and work expenses (commuting etc.), another 20% for day/afterschool/summer care leaves me with $.30 for every dollar. I'm worth more than that!!!! We don't need health insurance so it is very difficult to justify leaving my children. I am well educated and value my skills. It is suprising how often when voicing your well thought out opinion and plan in your community, progress can be made. Yes I can hire daycare but really tuning in to each child's individual education needs and driving the shuttle bus to activities are my job. They are still kids and the hours betweeh 4-8 pm are precious. Given the current fiscal crisis with cuts in school budgets, they are less and less equipped to raise our kids for us.

Actually mortgage should be no more than 25% of your take home not 35%. I do agree that staying at home can put a dent in your career (even for just 3-5 years) but then again, that extra income should more than cover day care. If it doesn't, then one of you shouldn't be working.

How are you doing your numbers? Let's say you have all the same expenses as a stay at home mom. Your one salary should cover that (just as a stay at home mom's husband or wife would) and then the 2nd income should cover the day care and then some.

Wow, Erica - what a bold statement you have made in suggesting that those who stay home have "zero professional skills." That would be like me saying that working parents have less than stellar parenting skills because they spend less time with their children than I do with mine.

Personally, while "not working," I'm on the board of two non-profits, am chairperson of a third and an am active member of two others. I help take care of my ailing grandmother, manage the little league team "stuff" for my husband, the coach, arrange & prepare four people and a pet for all of our travel, manage the house and put a darned tasty and varied menu out for my family every single week. And I've said nothing of the time I spend with my children - shuttling to baseball and karate, playgroup and music, taking them on day trips, doing art projects, participating in their imaginative play, taking walks and managing the fact that they constantly outgrow their clothes and shoes in a state that has four drastic seasons...tell us again what YOU do and why you are so much more "skilled" than I am?

I realize this is not the main point of your post, but BOY did you hit a hot button with me! People don't really think that SAHM/D's sit around and eat ice cream while they watch soap operas and maybe iron a few of their spouse's shirts while their financial profile goes down the toilet, do they? Really?

I'm worth way more than the 0.25 on the dollar I'd get for my time while working...and 0.25 on the dollar is money we've decided we can manage without for a while.

Well, for starters, you are way out of line with your house payment - Dave says no more than a quarter of your take home pay, and you have it as more than a third. Also, childcare bigger than the mortgage? Wow, where do you put your kids, Versailles Childcare Center?

(Martin, thanks for your input -- My mortgage was once 25 percent of our income -- since I am facing a 15-23 percent pay cut (see earlier posts to learn why) it will soon consume more. I am not taking my kids to Versilles, just an suburban preschool. Can you suggest a place that charges less than $2,300 per month for 8 a.m. -5:30 p.m. full-care for two kids? - Erica)

What alternative childcare budget would you suggest? There is the budget that includes childcare expenses for working parents, and there is the budget that excludes those expenses because of a stay at home parent.

You aren't mad that Ramsey doesn't offer an alternative. You are mad that he would suggest you might be more financially well-off if you stay at home!

You complaining that he didn't include childcare would be equivalent to ME (a SAHM) arguing that he didn't nclude a paycheck for me in the budget!

YOU made a choice. Like your hairstyle, or the clothing you buy, YOU decide how many kids and what kind of education, etc. Be happy with it. If you don't like it, change it. Otherwise, stop your belly-aching that some author isn't kissing your butt enough for being a 'working' mom. I guess unlike those idiots that stay at home and do nothng all day. You know. The 'nothing' you pay $2300 a month for someone ELSe to do for your kids.

Obviuosly Erica you are not really understanding the concepts and ideas that Dave wrote a book about. Not trying to be mean to you I'm just saying reread the book and listen to him on his radio and tv show. After hearing him talk to people about their financial problems you'll get a better understanding of what he is talking about. Whether you agree with him or not you really need to understand his methods and principles to get it.

Your main problem is you are working from the percentages sheet first. Dave is the first to say those numbers are not set in stone.

Most of Dave's message can be summed up like this: save for a rainy day, and stick to your budget. It's not rocket science at all. What makes Dave's plan work is he gets people to buy in emotionally, not just intellectually. Anyone can figure out that to get out of debt you have to stop borrowing. Dave tells people to get so mad at their debt that they want to kill it, kill it again, and kill it until it never comes back. There's a reason they call him a motivational speaker.

Ignore that percentages sheet. Go back and plan your budget out. Pay your home, utilities, food, clothing, child care and transportation first. Then you look at what's left and figure out where to trim. Don't eat out as much. Cut the premium cable bill, cut the nationwide long distance on the home phone, increase the deductibles on your insurance. There's plenty of ways to come up with a few hundred in savings if you sit down and look at your spending habits with a fresh eye.

Most of all get mad about your debts. Kill the car payment. Cut up the credit card. You will be amazed at what you can do.

My wife has a BA in Psychology, is highly intelligent, couldn't find a job, so now she stays home with our 9-month old daughter. I fought the income issue with her when we were first married, but now I see the benefit of saving on child care expense, medical expense (kids in daycare get sick more often), automobile expense (2nd car needed), clothing expense, and my daughter is being raised the way we want in a safe (and FREE) environment. My wife could easily be working, especially since we have moved to a college town where she has a lot of work experience in university labs and offices, but we have chosen this pathway.

Dave Ramsey offers education through his own struggles, and a TEMPLATE for finding your own pathway to financial success. I have also worked through his monthly flow budget as well as his percentage worksheets and I must say that I've changed quite a few of those percentages to meet our needs. I am going to start graduate school and we started saving for that versus paying down our $50,000 in debt. This means I'm going against what he teaches (higher degree doesn't mean higher pay - but in my case it is guaranteed) and I am stopping the Debt Snowball until I finish. We will probably also modify our budget once we start saving for college and retirement, but again, that is our choice based on his principles.

This is a very minor aspect of Dave Ramsey's overall program that you are attacking (and might I note very immaturely and emotionally). He has helped thousands, perhaps millions become SMART with their money and take control of their financial lives. Don't attack something that has been proven over and over. You obviously missed the point somewhere in your close-mindedness.

Erica:

The budget form is a TEMPLATE. I don't think Mr. Ramsey has ever purported that it was anything else. You can and should put any category you need in it. You can add categories, subtract categories, mix 'em match 'em slice 'em dice 'em. Go crazy.

Also I take issue with the idea that placing child care in the "Personal" category is some kind of insult. It's not Transportation. Its not Housing. Its not Utilities. I hope to God its not Food. No, its in Personal. Along with all that girlie stuff like Life Insurance, Adult Education, School Tuition, etc.

Anyone who can read, write and do arithmetic can be successful with this system. And it works. I'll testify.

Lighten up. Don't look for politically conservative bogeymen under every bush (they aren't there). Take deep a breath. Life is beautiful.

Thanks for your kind attention.