I've been homeschooling my three kids since my oldest was kindergarten age, which is ironic since we bought our house in this Massachusetts town because the "schools are so good". We are one of several families in town who have decided to homeschool and there are many, many more families in surrounding towns.

I now have a 3rd grader, 1st grader and preK student and they are thriving. I love our more relaxed schedule, the flexibility we have in choosing curriculum, and the time we have together as a family. I am not a saint, the most patient person in the world, or a denim-jumper wearing evangelist, just a mom who isn't crazy about what's going on in the public schools and thinks this lifestyle rocks.

received via email -EN

Hello,
I homeschool my children. This is my second year and I can relate to Candice. I was hesitant to start and thought about it for a few years. As each school year commenced, I kept asking myself, "Why doesn't this nagging feeling and want to homeschool go away." Once I decided, I was relieved and more confident. My school system was very supportive and encouraging.

My family thought it was a bit orthodox and were fearful of my unintentionally ruining my children, or some how taking something away from them. I feel like it adds to their childhood. I feel like they have more time to fit everything in. When they attended public schools, I would look forward to seeing them in the afternoon, but dreaded the rush of shoveling supper into their mouths, and carting them to their activities.

There are days, though, when I am so stressed and busy and feel inadequate as a teacher and mother. Just when I feel like things aren't going so well, something will click and one of my children will either begin to understand a concept that used to be puzzling, or that science project that we planned around the kitchen sinks produces smiles and giggles. So I do have more productive days, and try to take the good with the no-so-great days.

Homeschooling retards your children socially and academically. You are not qualified to teach them every subject. Chances are, you are not qualified to instruct in *any* subject.

Homeschooling is child abuse.

Oh C'mon William. Do you have any facts to back that up? The studies out there seem to show homeschooling kids doing above average academically overall - EN

I don't think I would choose homeschooling for my kids, but I am so impressed by the dedication, organization and patience of the parents who do it! It's a big undertaking and obviously, a lot of kids are benefiting from it.

I am in Braintree, Ma and have a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old. My husband and I are also wrestling with whether or nt to homeschool. Except for what we read online or in homeschooling books from the library, all other comments on the possibility of homeschooling we get is negative. I have tried calling at least 2 other people who homeschool but have no replies (in months). Our biggest concern is not having a homeschooling community. Does anyone know how I could find out if there is a cooperative close to us? This article has been so encouraging but the fears that we would possibly ruin our kids is still there. My neighbour said to me, in the presence of her 4-year-old, my sons' playmate, that my son will start to think something is wrong with him and he is not good enough to go to school. Can anyone please help with information? Thank you.

BraintreeMom----there are active groups like South Shore Home Learners and Hub Homeschoolers that do a lot of activities for homeschool kids in your general region. I suggest you join a Yahoo group like MHLA (Massachusetts Home Learning Association) for general homeschooling in MA info and to possibly connect with other local families.

You will NOT ruin your child homeschooling, esp if you are already thinking about ways to keep them connected to your community and to other kids/friends. Our town has very few homeschoolers but we still do not feel isolated or lacking for social interaction at all.

Moderator, if you are able to share my email address with BraintreeMom, that would be great.

There are homeschooling parents around here & sadly your neighbor has a narrow vision and possibly very few experiences to gather different perspectives. Many students attend private schools... and some in public schools are tutored privately through the publc schools as they aren't able to educate all.Three are many ideas... some are that children aren't ready for school at all until much later... and the individual attention they get at home, providing that is the case can be so beneficial. You are not retarding your children. There much more soical if you're involved in groups for activities, field trips, etc...

Our son Jeff and his wife Karen homeschool their 5 children.

The results are truly amazing. The children are intellectually far advanced, well spoken, poised in any situation and have a wonderful sense of humor.

Jane, the oldest, is twelve. She can recite poems like The Raven. She attended Shakespeare camp this summer. She is a docent at a living history museum. She plays the voilin, collects stamps and is years ahead in standardized tests. She is funny, kind and caring.

The other children are much like Jane.

If someone is intested in Homeschooling, I would recommend that they find a local Co-op or Support Group. There they will find many Moms and Dads who would be delighted to advise them and help them.

From my view of homeschooling, I believe that if you have the desire to homeschool and seek the help of other homeschool families, you cannot fail!

Ken Adams

I have a unique perspective because I run an over 13 plus web site www.doink.com. We provide free drawing and animation tools in a web community that are often used for school projects, etc.. As community moderator, I watch all our site interactions. Without a doubt, our most cordial, enthusiastic, talented & supportive users are home schooled teens. Not at all what I expected but what I especially appreciate.

This is our sixth year home schooling our three children, who are now 15, 12 and 11. They love being taught at home (we use Abeka Academy book and DVD curriculum) and every year score in the 80th percentile or higher in just about every subject.

We have many friends and family that homeschool as well, so socialization is never an issue. Our local school district has been very impressed with the results, and every year they compliment us on our success.

Incidentally, my husband, who has a science degree and earns a very respectable salary, was homeschooled in Massachusetts in the 80's, when Massachusetts was suing parents for home schooling and threatening to take home schooled kids away. Thankfully those days are over and most school districts in MA are favorable toward home schooling.

My homeschooling days are long gone, my youngest graduates from college this coming May. We began our journey in 1985, as the homeschool movement was just getting started. Not much curriculum choice and even less support.
We homeschooled through the 8th grade, followed by Catholic high school. I think one of the greatest benefits I can look back on now is fantastic relationships with my adult children. Yes, they all excelled in their education, in May we will have 4 college grads, the three graduates have great jobs, our son in the Boston area in business, two daughters; one a high school English teacher and the other a Montessori teacher.
I probably was not the greatest teacher...but, my children learned to be self-motivated, there were benefits to getting their work done in a timely manner.
As I have watched each of them in their college years seeking scholarships, job opportunities, internships, I have been grateful for the years we spent homeschooling. Probably the best investment of my time ever!!!

I think that parents should have the right to homeschool, but I just wonder how many people are truly qualified to do it.

I have a friend that I went to high school with who was not very smart. She is very sweet, and has a kind heart, but describing her as 'not very smart' is actually being generous. She home schools. I shudder to imagine what this must be like for her children.

Also, socialization is just as important as ABC's and 123's. In life, how you deal with people will have as much influence your level of success as much as what you know. I just don't think that children that are home schooled have the opportunity to learn how to deal with all kinds of people. The people they socialize with are also part of a controlled environment. That is not reality once you get into the real world.

Homeschooling has become so much more mainstream that I'm amazed that there are still people out there who oppose it. Still, it is a big undertaking and not for every family. There are so many opportunities for homeschoolers in Massachusetts that it can be overwhelming. There are a several homeschooling groups, organized classes, field trips, and learning co-ops. I love homeschooling my 11 year old daughter. It affords us so much more time together. Last year my daughter enjoyed a series of home school classes at MIT and the Franklin Park Zoo. She reads at least 50 books a year, and has had her creative writing published. She has schooled and homeschooled friends, plays the piano, and takes ballet lessons.

Do you well-meaning people that homeschool your children, really think your own narrow scope of the world is all your children need to be exposed to? I really believe it is a great injustice to children. The homeschoolers I have known are generally uneducated, workbook junkies. Children need to be exposed to all types of teachers, peers and ideas.

Sandy, the determining factor on whether kids are "workbook junkies" is not that they are homeschooled; it's how their parents homeschool them. I grew up in MA, now live in GA. Here, I know many homeschooled kids. One, in fact, went onto the become the president of his senior class at the 3rd largest university in the state. And I now hear, yeah, but that's GA, it's so backward. He then went on to the Kennedy school of gov't at Harvard, and has run a U.S. Senator's campaign & governor's campaign in GA. Workbook junkie? I think not.

I'm not a Mom but I have a question based on a line in the article about the parent learning the subject as the child is learning it. Ok, so most people can pick up Latin just fine but how do you teach the child Physics, Chemistry or Math?

I'm a technical person (Masters in Math, analyst at a financial services firm) and it seems to me that most homeschooled children excel at liberal arts but are severely lacking in science and math.

If I may add to my earlier post, I have read about the accomplishments of some of your children. As the mother of three public school educated children in a small town in NH, they are all college educated. One is a prosecutor in a major city, one has just had his second book published in his field of expertise and the other is a productive and active citizen in his community. Parenting is the main issue...be involved and expose your children to good things!

If I may add to my earlier post, I have read about the accomplishments of some of your children. As the mother of three public school educated children in a small town in NH, they are all college educated. One is a prosecutor in a major city, one has just had his second book published in his field of expertise and the other is a productive and active citizen in his community. Parenting is the main issue...be involved and expose your children to good things!

Sandy: Perhaps you have not met many homeschooling families, or have limited your exposure to small secluded groups of homeschoolers.

In our homeschooling years we've met parent educators who are artists, engineers, medical professionals, business owners, high-tech consultants, research scientists, building-industry contractors, mathematicians, farmers, amateur botanists, writers, and yes, even "professional" teachers. Many homeschooling families readily share resources and expertise so children are exposed to all of these fields. When my child wants to learn about electrical engineering, we don't depend on books or a canned lesson plan, we study EE and talk to EEs.

I think the misconceptions about homeschooling stem from a misunderstanding of how homeschooling works in practice. Homeschooling is almost an oxymoron as much of our learning takes place outside of the home, in the community (museums, colleges, parks, etc.).

Homeschooling can go one of two directions - either providing a greater in-depth education and less distraction, or a narrower perspective on the world. Extracurricular activities can also provide the social interaction many kids need to develop social skills. I have a friend that home schools their children - it's because his two children are disabled and he needs to take care of them.

Some of you may say that you're concerned about socialization. Well, not everyone's school experience is a good one. If you grew up and went to school where I did - getting into fights, getting bullied, and getting bad grades was the norm. I don't think that's "good" socialization and teaching children how to world "really" works. It definitely wasn't a good education.

But then again, maybe some of you went to better schooling and haven't had that luxury of a really bad experience.

I have seen people homeschool who have put great effort into the curriculum and making a daily schedule and those kids appeared to get a great education. I have also seen lots of people do it half-way. One single mother home schooled her three kids while working part time and the kids did a lot of workbooks and not a lot of other learning experiences. A lot of the time they were left on their own. I know the mother meant well but when those children joined the high school they were behind academically. One of the children has a learning disability and I don't think mother was qualified to teach the special skills that boy needed to acquire to learn how to "learn". I also have seen people put in even less effort so I think it depends on the parent and how involved they are in creating a supportive, learning enviroment. Just like it's up to the public/private school parents to also be involved in their children's education.

Perhaps if some of the homeschooling groups would open up their memberships from time to time ... . I've been on the waiting list for North Shore Homeschoolers (via meetup.com) for two, count 'em, two, years. I want to do this, but don't want to do it alone, as I don't feel it would benefit my child. Also, I can't do math to save my life. There seems to be an awful lot of cliquiness in the homeschooler groups, once you get beyond the Bible thumping gang. And Ken, I do fear meeting families like yours - the bragging does not motivate me, it sends me running in the other direction. Heaven Forbid other children don't measure up to the polymath that is your granddaughter.

Sandy, what you probably don't understand is that most (good) home schoolers expose their kids to a more complex world view than any public school kids will have.

Home schoolers draw on the experiences and resources available from a multitude of sources including university programs, government educational opportunities, field trips, museums, and professional organizations. MIT runs some great educational programs exclusively for home schoolers. The state government has an excellent camp on how the legislative process works. The South Shore Conservatory in Hingham and Duxbury has excellent advanced arts education offered during the school day for home schoolers that blows away any public school arts program.

The public schools in this state are usually short on cash: field trips and extracurricular activities have been cut dramatically. The students are forced to study under a usually politially liberal viewpoint, using outdated curriuculum, on lesson plans tailored to classes of 25+ students. This system does not reflect "the real world" they will experience when they begin their careers. Neither does the often hostile and backwards social hierarchy they experience in public school exemplify the professional workplace.

Certainly, home schooling is not for everyone. We too have been dissapointed at the lack of quality education some home school families have given their children. We fear that as home schooling becomes more prevalent, you are going to see a greater number of failures because of sheer statistical probability.

However, if you're comparing system against system and not individual cases, I don't see how any independent-minded person can argue against home schooling as a compelling alternative to the Massachusetts public school mill.

As a homeschooling mom of six who has been schooling for 16 years (since my oldest was in kindergarten), I feel I am well qualified to put my two cents worth in here! My children are well -rounded (Scouts, sports, piano/voice lessons, horseback lessons, camps, volunteering, youth groups, etc.), well-mannered (I lost track of how many times our large family has been out in public and received unsolicited compliments from strangers), and able to converse with people of all ages. They have had many experiences with other peers as well as adults in the above-mentioned activites and also within our homeschooling coop (different moms teach).

Their learning is not confined to the classroom and textbooks; we go out and experience the world! My husband and I are well-educated (we both have Bachelors Degrees) and have a love of learning which we are passing on to our children. They hardly have a "narrow view" of the world. As an aside, I would ask what "agenda" the majority of the public schools has these days and if the socialization in some schools is the kind you want your child exposed to (rude/crude language, bullying, peer pressure, drugs, drinking, etc.).

How does one teach Chemistry, Physics, etc.? Well there are many different ways! There are homeschooling classes and cooperatives with qualified teachers and there are also programs for do it yourselfers which include a CD/DVD with a teacher. My oldest son was homeschooled through 11th grade ( including Chemistry, Biology, Latin) and entered a public high school for 12th grade with no problems and made the honor roll. He has since gone on to become a firefighter & EMT while completing college in three years with a double major in Criminal Justice and Psychology (Dean's List all the way through). Son number two entered public high school in 10th grade&made high honors while running cross country and track all year (the only sophmore in honors PreCalc and Trig), etc., etc.

You get the idea. It's all about what's right for your family. There are many "ways" to homeschool and every family/child is different. There are millions of people homeschooling and everyone has their own reasons (individual attention, going at the child's rate, learning according to their specific learning style, focusing on their specific interests, and reasons of teaching values, character, and faith). I feel very blessed that I have been given this opportunity to be with my children. There is nothing that I would rather be doing!

Moderator,please feel free to share my email address with Braintree Mom as well.

I don't know why I continue to be amazed (and admittedly disgusted) at the vitriolic comments made by people so against homeschooling. I should be thrilled that they have the best interests of every single child at heart and have the knowledge, experience and forsight to know the best way to raise and educate every single child. Wow.

I'd like them to know
-homeschool groups are comprised of a VERY diverse group of families and children. We ARE exposed to much more than our "narrow" view of the world. Our children DO get to interact with your standard bullies, mean girls, over exuberant boys, incredibly shy children, learning disabled children, alternative lifestyle families, and children who speak a language other than English at home. Sound about like public school?

-we have respect for teachers and the incredible pressure they are under to do a job with minimal resources and support

-NOT having a teaching certificate does not make one unqualified to teach. It's simply a JOB requirement

-typically a teacher's wishlist is to have fewer students to deal with (teacher:student ratio) and more engaged students. Guess what? That's what homeschooling provides!

-I've heard many an educator tell students that "you're not here to socialize, you're here to learn"

-physical education, even recess and lunch periods have been cut back due to budget cuts in the school systems. So where is the time for socialization?

I would like to know for those who object to homeschooling, do you also object to private schools? charter schools? magnet schools? religious schools?

I wish I could home school my children but I know my own limitations. I think it's great these people had the chance to spend so much time with their children.

reader comment received via email - EN

I've homeschooled my 11 year old daughter since the second grade. I'm
able to combine part-time work as a reading specialist and writer with
her flexible schedule. Homeschooling is a lifestyle as well as an
educational choice. My daughter loves it and if she didn't we would
not continue. We are able to support our daughter's unique interests
and strengths. Many people have misconceptions of homeschooling. The
biggest ones are: 1)parents have to have a teaching degree 2)school is
done at home around the table all day and 3)kids lack socialization.
There are so many opportunities for Boston homeschoolers-classes,
field trips, support groups--that I am sometime overwhelmed by all the
choices. We could be out all day if we wanted to.

Liz,

You confirmed my suspicions about upper level Math and Science -- children are not homeschooled in it. They're sent to regular school to learn it.

Hey William. If you are the product of public schools and speak for them, you just provided lots of credibility for home schooling. You are the problem. We are sucking the imagination out of our kids and teaching conformity. Nice job proving the need for home schooling.

The smugness of the homeschooling parents is very frightening. A very entitled bunch.

Seems like a bunch of helicopter moms who don't want to have to go out and get a job when their kids start school so they look for an excuse to continue to stay home all day. I agree with the smugness part #30 although I get that from parents of private school kids too. I find it amazing that people who think that because they went to school and they are a parent that they can buy some curriculum materials and are suddenly qualified to teach.

Don't attempt to brush with such a broad stroke - homeschool families differ from one another nearly as much as public school families do. The one common similarity tends to be a desire to do the very best that they can do for their children. just-cause's comment that we homeschool families are "a very entitled bunch" is laughable. I would say the same of public school families ... you feel that your children are "entitled" to a good education while doing precious little to actually make it happen. Getting pissed at your child's teacher and bringing lawsuits against schools who don't give your children passing grades - now THAT'S indicative of a strong sense of entitlement, wouldn't you agree? My children scored in the top 4% on national standardized testing this year. My husband and I manage to give them an excellent education while holding down careers - he works full time outside the home and I run my own business from within. Our kids are involved in a myriad of extracurricular activities. We travel at least 6 weeks per year, both by air and RV. We're doing it all and loving every minute of it. As to teachersareprofessionals' smugness comment ... I predict that you'll eat a little crow someday. Would you be surprised to learn that the majority of homeschool moms I know actually have teaching degrees? It's amazing how many of them leave the system as soon as it's THEIR kids' turn to learn. Very telling, indeed!

As my 10 month old sits in his crib I worry about his education. My husband and I are from a small town in upstate NY, more cows and cars on blocks than people, and we went to public school. We were both very lucky and excelled and through different routes ended up at Harvard for graduate school (his PhD in Applied Math and My Education Masters in Arts in Education).
In my job as a teaching artist and curriculum consultant I work with all sorts of schools all over the area. I'm horrified by what is considered acceptable public schooling here, though I'm loving the new Boston Super. I love the curriculum and respect for self, others and community that the "entitled" kids and parents at the independent and private schools demonstrate.
Even with our good jobs I can't imagine how we can afford the 14,000 a year for PRE K!!! Let alone the 20,000 or so (though by the time the 10 mo old is actually in high school I'm sure it will be much more) for 7th grade and up.

With our backgrounds and education I am confident that I am just as qualified as most teachers my child could potentially get in public school.

We are seriously considering homeschooling, which I think is a decision requiring at least a year of lead time and planning for curriculum design. This is a great discussion and I'd really like to know more about how to go about contacting the consortiums in the area and finding a good match for our family. EN is there a place to look other than to google the three groups mentioned here?

Has anyone answered reindeergirl? The moderator is welcome to give her my email address. I do not live in your area, but I would be happy to give support if you just want a friend to talk to.

As with many discussions and debates, a few people here seem to think that their opinion - whether for homeschooling or against - is the "right" opinion. I homeschool my children. They are bright, well-mannered, and well-socialized. None of them have brought home a Nobel Prize yet, so my bragging rights may be limited. I have friends with children in both private and public schools. Their children are also bright, well-mannered, and well-socialized. We all get along and don't criticize one another for somehow short-changing our children. It is true that parental involvement is a key to success in any type of schooling. It is also true that children who fall behind academically or are socially challenged can be found in any educational environment, even with parental support. I have many reasons for home-schooling, which I am happy to share with anyone who is truly interested. But I am not smug and won't tell my public-schooling friends that what they are doing is wrong. It is each parent's job to do what is best for their children to the best of their ability. I respect others' decisions in choosing the best education for their children. I only ask for the same courtesy in return.

I find that the homeschooling attitude is the important thing to cultivate. To have the idea that learning can happen anywhere, not just in a school building is the key to instilling life long learning in kids.

I do not homeschool my kids, as I freely admit I would not have the patience for it. One of my kids needs OT and other services that I would not be the best person to provide. But that doesn't mean we don't teach them at home. My husband has taught them to build things, draw in perspective, plan and execute woodworking projects, use 3d modeling tools and other skills to complement their natural artistic talents. I have shared with them my love of science, history, and engineering by doing experiments with them, taking them to museums and historical sites, helping them find 30 different books on whatever their current passion is (the Titanic, airplane crashes, volcanoes, high speed trains, whatever), etc. The teachers at school give them the basic skills. I give them the depth they crave on topics of interest. I help them when they want to go beyond the topics at school. You want to learn to cook? Type? Build a go-cart? Build a robot? That's what I am here for. It doesn't have to be this 'either school or homeschool' mentality - you can build whatever mix works for you and yours.