I have always said, preschool soccer seems to be about everything but soccer (kids pick grass, cry, play ring-a-round-a-rosy, rummage through parents' bags, pull down each other's shorts, etc. etc.) just as Music Together is about parents singing merrily while toddlers look at us in appalled incredulity. By grade school, some kids actually have distinguished themselves as skilled and enthusiastic soccer players, but I've yet to be at a 5-and-under soccer game where there was any way to see that coming.

My son is playing soccer this year for the third year (started in K). He doesn't know the rules of the game, he has a hard time controlling the ball, and doesn't know where to put the ball for corner kicks. Other kids on his team however (all grade 2-3 boys) are quite well-versed in the game. Some play year-round including indoor soccer in the winter. They are very good, agile players. My son, not so much. So while I might be sitting there in my chair (tartan blankets not so good for dewey Saturday mornings) in the warm autumn sun, my eyes are averted from the field. I'll read a book, talk to other moms, check my facebook feed, do anything but watch the game. He does his best, which is all I can ask, but he's almost out of his league already. If he told me he wanted to quit I would shout HORRAY! There are plenty of other things he likes better: karate and swimming among them. Thankfully he was never big into ice hockey. We tried that, too.

With three girls that now all play hockey and LOVE it, as much as I do not look forward to the hockey rink, I have found the joy in watching their accomplishments. The schedule is CRAZY and only gets worse as they get better. We used to dread 5:30 weekend wake ups; now we dread Vermont games and 4 hours of practice/week. I took my oldest to ballet and forced her to stay/perform. She did eventually get over the cling to the leg thing...but never loved it. My middle one was a good tap/jazz dancer and I loved watching her Irish Step, but she traded it all in for black skates with a smile. Although I love sports, neither my husband nor I ever played hockey, but there can be so much good ego-wise and life lesson-wise that can come of it...I wouldn't shy away. Enjoy him!

Both of my daughters played soccer and I used to call it Organized Shinkicking. The kids would form a scrum and take turns missing the ball. I am so glad they gave it up for other interests. And I will take a hundred pasionately rabid teeball parents over the milquetoast , non score keeping, Ikea soccer crowd anyday of the week.

My son who will be 4 in 2 weeks is playing his first year of soccer. He begged to play after watching his older brother (almost 8) play for the last few years. So I gave in and signed him up. The first day we met at the field, he in his oversized shirt and soccer shorts looking absolutely adorable and mom and dad thinking...what where we thinking!. Hesistant and shy he went out on the field with the other kids, each kid getting a ball to kick around and practice with. After a few minutes he came over and said "I like this", amazed I said "that is great honey". But then came the whistle, "ok kids bring the balls in, it is game time" said the coach. Once he realized you have to share the ball, and you have to pass the ball, and you can't stand and kick the ball in the net over and over and over it was all down hill. He spent most of the game sitting on the side line telling us he doesn't like soccer anymore and asking when he can go to the playground. We took him again the next week and spent lots of quality time sitting on the sideline and discussing when it was going to be over. This past week it was rained out, next week we are still contemplating whether to try it again or just give in.

Just about any youth sport has many benefits for kids, yes, even as young as 4yo. Soccer is a particular passion of mine. I've been coaching youth soccer for 8 years now, twice through the 4/5yo years with my own kids. It has been a pure joy and unbelievably positive experience. Both of my "soccer play boys" are still playing to this day and soccer is their main sport. Yeah, I also coach basketball, flag football, and baseball but they really like soccer best. I play and respect many sports, but soccer does have some fantastic aspects to team building and communication and socializing. I recommend giving it a try. BTW, my 5yo daughter screamed/cried when trying to just step on the soccer field. Yup, it never happened for her. Good news, she found her other calling - dancing.

If you are rabidly passionate about T-ball, or any sport your kids play, then there is something amiss. It isn't about you.

My kids are in and out of soccer. The older one is a referee now, and I coach the younger one's team. I don't let it be about my ego, but about their learning and growing in the sport. I don't care if they win or lose (the team is nearly a full year younger on average than other teams they have played), but I am happy if they work hard and don't give up.

Nonscorekeeping? Really? Well, non-score recording up through age eight - except the kids keep score!

I don't think the other commenters are answering your question of how long? I think it depends on the kid, but probably 3-4 times ought to do it. That's long enough to make sure the kid just isn't having a bad day (or 2). After that, it's probably time to try something else.

If you end up forcing the activity on him, he might end up hating it more.

I have 3 children of which the 2 boys are starting to do sports. The deal I have made with my kids which has sort of worked ok is that I ask them do you want to do this before signing them up with the explanation that once I register them they are committed to that sport for the duration of that season (after which they don't have to do it again if they don't want to). My older boy has played Soccer 3 years now and likes it (we only do it in the Fall so he is middle of the road in terms of skills). My younger son is playing soccer for the fist time at the kindergarten level and so far doesn't like it but is sticking with it. We have been dragging our heels on ice hockey but this is the third year my older son has asked to play (many of his classmates do) so we are going to sign him up for learn to skate this year (not looking forward to freezing but what are you going to do).

Why on god's green earth would you make your kid play a sport he clearly hates? Seriously, why? Because it's easier to get him dressed?Stop projecting on the kid and encourage him in the activites he actually enjoys.

# 5 Liz - he's only 4 give him a pass this year and before signing up again explain to him that if he's a part of the team he HAS to do it for the whole season. 4 yr olds don't share well!!

If he doesn't want to play, take him out and try again next year. If he still hates it, he hates it and at least you tried. Hockey's expensive but of all the sports I found it taught the best lessons. And since it's not the most popular sport going, your kids are well on their way to a certain level of coolness.

I have the exact opposite going on here. My boys love soccer and I love hockey. I want them to play and they won't do it. I'm not going to force it but I'm praying for a turnaround before it gets too late.
I figure the best approach is to let them try out everything and eventually they will settle into something that they like. In my case it is soccer for now but 5 and 6 year olds can be fickle. There may still be a 5:30am cold hockey rink in my future!

hockey is the best! Also the most expensive and biggest time suck, but I wouldn't trade one minute of it - I love watching my son dazzle on the ice! (Actually he really isn't that great of a skater, but to me, el klutzo mom, he is dazzling) Also lasts 7-8 months per year as opposed to 8 weeks of soccer at a time.

When my children were young enough to not know they hated most sports, our general thought was: if you sign up, you finish the season. So my daughter played soccer for two years before she realized it wasn't fun and chose not to sign up for a third year. My son played t-ball for a couple of years, then baseball for three. He also played soccer for four years. At no time did they say they wanted to quit mid-season. I think this was because we explained as we signed the forms and forked over the money, "If you love this, you can do it again next year. If you don't, remember that the season is over in November (or whenever)." I do think it's important to finish the season unless there's a really horrible situation such as a coach who forgets the game is supposed to be fun or a bullying situation that's out of control. This teaches the child to value a commitment and gives them a change to see improvement and really know if the sport is for them.

It depends - did he ask to play soccer, or did you sign him up because you wanted him to play?

Assuming he asked to play, I would tell him that he has to give it a good try for the rest of the season. If he asks again another time, I'd remind him of the previous experience and make sure he really wants to try it.

If he didn't ask to play, let it go. He can re-try when he's older, if he wants to.

The only thing I've ever signed my kids up for without asking them is swimming, because I feel that learning to swim is an essential life skill. Once they became competent, it became a choice.

My 11 year old daughter has been playing soccer since she was 5. When she started she wanted to quit because it "made her sweat". I made her give it another try and she now loves it and would never give it up. At such an early age, they might not like the sport for reasons that have nothing to do with the sport. Encourage them to try again and then assess it. I am glad I "made" her play another season. She is a great player and has had many great experiences with soccer over the past several years.

I live in hot and sunny South Carolina. My 10-year old nephew has been playing ice hockey for several years now. How difficult is this? Let's see, there is only one place to play near here, and it's almost an hour away. Need new skates? Drive 100+ miles to the find a place that sells something other than figure skates. Want to play another team? Drive 100+ miles. Getting enough kids together to form a travel team - thank goodness for the dad who drives 100+ miles one way each week. And pray that the goalie can make it to the game and doesn't get hurt.

And yet my brother and ex sister in law make every effort to keep Silas in the sport. That means getting to the rink before 7am on Saturday. Since he's on the travel team, they have to get up at 4ish on the weekends to get him to the other rink for an away game. Thank goodness there are only about 4 away games.

And they do this because he LOVES to play. From the first day, when he mostly did the fish-flop (wearing used equipment), to the day he scored his first hat trick, he's been a wonder to behold. The first time he actually passed the puck instead of trying to score the goal himself, his parents were so proud. Once they figured out what he'd done.

I lived in Somerville for several years. Silas will never have the resources that my neighbor Mike had. There will never be a high school team here. Or cheerleaders. Or a chance for a scholarship. It doesn't get cold enough down here to freeze over the back yard so he can practice every day. He'll never skate on a frozen pond. He can't shoot pucks against the back of his house during the summer. He'll never play street hockey with the neighbors.

He may outgrow his love of the game. Maybe he'll switch over to the only *real* sport down here, football. I hope not. On the other hand, with football he can play all year long, with his friends, and there's a chance for a scholarship.

I have 2 children, now 18 and 17, our rule was if you sign up for something you need to stick with it for the the duration that it lasts. When they were little 4-6 we were a little more giving as to what the "duration" meant but as the got older we explained to them that if they signed up for a team sport they stuck with it because the other kids on the team were counting on them being there. My daughter decided she wanted to play soccer when she was 8 because all her friends were playing. She hated it but stuck it out for the 8 weeks and decided dance would be her only sport which she did for 7 more years. She got to high school and decided she wanted to play sports instead of dance so she could have fun with her friends. She wasn't the greatest player but had a ball all 4 years playing a sport every season. Yes, she even played hockey during the winter.

My son played, and still does, both soccer and hockey from the age of 6. The one thing that I have learned from 11 years of both sports is that yes hockey is more expensive, the season may last longer and the rinks are cold. But on the other hand you learn which rinks are cold and dress accordingly (keep mittens and a blanket in the trunk at all times), soccer season lasts just as long (they play indoors as they get better and play on club teams), having a goalie in hockey was still less expensive than my daughter's dance classes (she was on a competition team), they learn to tie their own skates (or better yet the coaches tie them) and most importantly it's never windy, raining or snowing in a hockey rink. Don't fool yourself they only call games due to drizzle when they're 4 and 5 as they get older they play in every kind of weather.

The most important thing is that if you have to force your child to do something they will never enjoy it and there will be tears from both of you. Why not let them play the sport that that they like, they're only little once let them enjoy it even if it means cold rinks and 6am games.

If my child asks to participate in a sport the rule is that they participate for the season. If at the end of the season they don't want to sign up again that's fine, but by agreeing to sign up they are conceding to be part of a team and need to be there for their team. How can a child know after 1 practice if they are going to end up liking the sport or not when they haven't even learned how to play the game? I believe it is important to teach children to finish what they start and to not be quitters.

The answer to this changes based on age of course, but my rule that has worked for 3 kids now is that if they say they want to join a team, they are told that means they are committing to the team for the season. Which means if they decide they don't like it mid way through, they know they're commited. This works on two levels I think. First, it teaches the kids about teamwork and commitment, and in most cases, the value of money spent for them to play out the season. AND, it means they continue to play which in some cases may be all they need to figure out they actually like it (or, confirm for everyne that they are done.....at least for now.

I have a somewhat similar situation, although it is with children wanting to quit their musical instruments. My kids (late elementary and middle school) have been playing violin for several years and have gotten quite proficient but they still must be nagged to practice, and they complain and procrastinate. Having invested thousands of dollars into their musical education at this point, it breaks my heart to let them give it up. I have heard so many adults say their parents gave up too easily when they wanted to quit and they wished their parents had made them stick it out. At what age does either the spark ignite or you concede that its just not going to happen for them?

I would not make a kid do an activity he clearly hates if another one that he prefers is available. He has hockey, why make him do soccer?
However some healthy dose of parental resistance builds character and makes the kid think of what he wants. I graduated from being dragged to a hockey rink kicking and screaming to a perfect hockey Mom unfased by 7 am games and 9 pm practices. However my oldest worked hard to prove that this is an activity he loves.

My rule is if you sign up for an activity, you go as long as it lasts. But I don't force my kids to sign up for anything. I make suggestions (i.e. Do you want to try martial arts at the Y this fall? Are you interested in trying...). But if they are not interested, fine.

It can be hard for parents of kids who do not care about sports to accept this (well, not hard for us, because neither me nor my husband are into sports either), but it is really not a requirement that a kid do a sport at all. My kids are plenty active, and have dabbled in sports, but it really isn't their thing. The only thing I get from pushing it is a headache from all the whining.

I too generally require that when my kids sign up for an activity, they play for the season. My oldest son played soccer for one season in first grade, didn't like it and never returned to the game. Fine by me! Sitting on a frost-covered field at 8AM on a Saturday in the fall holds no appeal for me anyway. He's also done karate and played t-ball, baseball, and basketball on and off for a few seasons and plays lacrosse but the only thing he is passionate about was hockey. After a year of ignoring requests to play, then another year of trying to get away with learn-to-skate and skills-and-drills classes, we finally decided that playing street hockey or mini hockey every day, day in and day out, year round was evidence that this was more than a passing phase and let him join a "real" team for the first time this year. I wish we had given in earlier as it's tough to start at age 11 - he's way behind the other players - but he loves every minute of practice and games and doesn't mind the fact that he's not a superstar player and has a lot of work to do to catch up.

Our younger sons are old enough to dally in sports now as well and we are holding them to a one-season commitment to anything they choose to sign up for (they are 3 & 5 so we're talking generally 6-8 weeks at a time). When our daughter did gymnastics, she also had to commit for a whole season, which was several months.

As a mom of four, a soccer coach and a hockey mom, it's all about having fun while getting to run off some steam. That said, there are many times when you have to encourage a child to stick with it until it gets to be more fun. My 4th grader plays soccer and is on a club hockey team. He is passionate about hockey and that's why we support him. I loved reading about your early stages. Unless you've done hockey, it's hard to imagine the family commitment involved. He also has been on the fence many times with soccer and I kept encouraging him. Now that the skill levels are split, t's much more enjoyable. The town friends are the best part! If they really hate it. I'd say one season or session and then try again later with a friend. I agree with "Jen" you stick it out for the session, unless it's truly miserable for you, which is when you pack it up and go get some coffee!