I am pleased to once again turn over the cyberfloor to my pal and Moms Are Talking About guest blogger Candice Smith Fleszar, who many of you will recall from her earlier adventures with highway birth, frugal living, and homeschooling -- part I and part II

This month she candidly talks about the joys and regrets of finally getting her body back after a decade of babymaking.

Do I Want My Body Back?

By Candice Smith Fleszar

My older sister proclaimed after carrying and nursing her five children that she “just wanted her body back.” I could certainly relate on days when I was SOOOOOO pregnant that I couldn't see even the tips of my toes - even with size 10 shoes, if I could get them on.

Or... when I felt like the human dairy bar with a child who wanted nothing but me. (Oh, but I will forever miss my hungry baby taking all those extra fat grams I didn't need.)

Now near the end of more than 11 years of alternating pregnancy and nursing, I'm not so sure I want my body back. I'm experiencing the permanent return of the dreaded monthly cycle, which I was glad to give up for almost that entire time.

Now with four beautiful daughters, we're done having children, and with the goodbye to my childbearing/nursing years, it's hello to what my life was at the age of 27 when I started this journey... right?

Well...not exactly. I know there have been some inevitable changes over that time, mostly from carrying my girls -- all great experiences. But, I was ready to feel pretty much like I did a dozen years ago. Carrying babies up to 8 lbs 10 oz made my hip bones and my feet permanently wider, somehow stole ¾ inch in precious height, created a few spider veins (that haven't faded like I'd hoped), and battle-scarred me with stretch marks from those final weeks of pregnancy.

But I'll admit I wasn't fully prepared for being back on the monthly cycle. Now that it's here, I am missing those awesome "Flo" free years.

My cramps, which used to be nearly nonexistent, have returned and are making up for the decade they hibernated. They've also made a new painful appearance at mid-month. Plus, my complexion now reminds me of being a teenager. That part I was okay with leaving behind.

While I still love me and wouldn't change a thing about my journey here, my new mechanics are taking some getting used to. Maybe I'm naive or just an optimist, but I'm a bit thrown. My new body with its wider distances, less perky parts, and general softness seems like a big ol' pain sometimes. But then again, it's like poetry in motion - Ode To A Mother - when someone says, “YOU'VE had four children?!”

Trying to find my place in the next stage is a little tough for me where I'm not growing a new family member, or nourishing and comforting one in only the way I can.

But then I do get to sleep all night after saying goodbye to those overnight feedings when I was the only one carrying the meal. And, after more than a decade of being the designated driver at family weddings, I can now drink occasionally without having to worry about its effect on children who rely on me for food.

Without a baby always on my hip, I'm also finding new roles for myself, not only in our second year of homeschooling, but also returning to the work I love, much of it through volunteering.

My returned time of the month, which now comes every 24 days, down from a delightful 38, also appears to be on a crash course with the increasing hormonal changes in our oldest daughter. Being the third of five girls myself, I knew what to expect growing up.

But, alas, being the oldest (and a bit ahead of her peers hormonally), I'm sure she feels like some strange scientific experiment. As an obsessed reader, books on all the changes have helped her a lot, but also, for the first time since she weaned, this devout daddy's girl is asking for me. She wants my comfort and advice on handling what her body's feeling and how it sometimes can lay her out or make her feel a bit nuts.

Sometimes that means explaining those mysterious items under the bathroom sink and other times, it's rubbing her back when her hormones make her feel out of control. It's nice to be the only one who can fill a need for her again. I'll savor it while I can, as each of our four girls reaches the preteen years.

Candice Smith Fleszar is a former journalist and corporate public relations specialist turned homeschooling mom in the Grand Rapids, MI area. She has four daughters, ages 2-10, twitters at www.twitter.com/CandiceFleszar, and is a moderator for MomsLikeMe.com

What do you think about your post-kids body? Love it or tolerate it? Leave a comment, or drop an email to enoonan@globe.com