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  • Comment on: Feeling small

    Posted 07/09/2013 11:52:00 EDT

    "Close to perfect" relationship and "I have a higher sex drive" (that has not been resolved in three years) just don't go together for me. Does not compute. Gives me a headache, in fact. Add in that, more »

  • Posted 06/05/2013 04:27:05 EDT

    Didn't mean that inference, no. In the whole post I'm trying to tease a few different ways of considering his situation that I hadn't seen posted. But, what would be better for him? Or for his women f more »

  • Posted 06/05/2013 04:03:38 EDT

    I didn't say it would be better if he had only one-night stands and a few dates, I said his posture that he makes it clear there's no relationship would be more believable. 

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  • Posted 06/05/2013 03:45:59 EDT

    McD, I don't think my reasoning said that.

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  • Posted 06/05/2013 03:24:58 EDT

    McD, haven't you ever known a person who said one thing and then did, or acted like, another? Mixed signals.

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  • Posted 06/05/2013 03:23:11 EDT

    Thanks, Tri. I see your perspective. Mine's a little different, partly because I do have experience with a living in a very conservative culture, where certain behaviors implied levels of seriousness. more »

  • Posted 06/05/2013 03:07:59 EDT

    Tri, I really do think it's possible that he eventually comes home with a bride from that country or another SA or LA country. Very possible. Think Vietnam. Or England. Or Germany. Or Japan. Or Korea. more »

  • Posted 06/05/2013 03:04:38 EDT

    Thank you, J9.

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  • Posted 06/05/2013 03:04:10 EDT

    Thanks for the explanation re the trimesters; totally agree btw.

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  • Posted 06/05/2013 03:01:22 EDT

    And to make it more complicated, what if he's only dating illilterate women? Does that make a difference in terms of whether he's taking advantage?

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  • Posted 06/05/2013 03:00:01 EDT

    And you and Bride are supporting another of my points, which is that he's probably not being completely honest. If he were maybe he'd have a few stitches in him.   But what about my other point, that more »

  • Posted 06/05/2013 02:55:45 EDT

    So, Gestationally-Challenged, (when are you due anyway?), I think you're supporting my point. The ladies of that culture have ways of wielding their power along certain dimensions and he's finding tha more »

  • Posted 06/05/2013 02:53:59 EDT

    He's manipulative because he knows they want something and (he says) his words promise nothing, but he knows his actual actions imply sincere interest in that culture. He's stringing them along. Now, more »

  • Posted 06/05/2013 02:49:45 EDT

    If it is, as the LW describes, a patriarchal culture then there are probably very specific courting behaviors that imply sincere interest. I don't think we have those here anymore, other than that "ta more »

  • Posted 06/05/2013 02:45:34 EDT

    John sounds like a manipulative jerk. If his encounters were one time things or short term dating then his idea that he's giving no impression of wanting a relationship would be somewhat believable, b more »

  • Comment on: How to be friends

    Posted 05/21/2013 11:21:33 EDT

    "Not to decide is to decide." 

    Harvey Cox

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  • Posted 05/20/2013 07:29:59 EDT

    Yes. She has a part to speak her mind. He's not a mind reader. But he's got a part to play, too, and part of it is paying attention. She's thinking he got his boat now there'll be some qui more »

  • Posted 05/20/2013 07:18:30 EDT

    No way this boat is $1K. 

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  • Posted 05/20/2013 07:07:19 EDT

    lol...ah, no math...sorry....and no puns...

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  • Posted 05/20/2013 07:05:43 EDT

    Of course you'll take $135K in a heartbeat. And you'll use it wisely. Or you'll blow it in Atlantic City. idk.   But in terms of owning the house with the white picket fence, in a nice suburb, or not more »

  • Posted 05/20/2013 05:51:30 EDT

    A boat: "A boat is a hole in the water you throw money into." If your total income is $135K and you live in the Boston area, you ain't rich. I hope the college funds are getting funded if you plan to more »

  • Posted 05/20/2013 05:40:27 EDT

    Yes, 75th Trimester. Up-side of recognizing wife's contribution in a appreciative way: rhythmic. Downside of ignoring wife's contribution: logrithmic.  I can see why she's calling him an idiot; he got more »

  • Posted 05/20/2013 05:10:26 EDT

    The married single mom. 

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  • Posted 10/09/2012 01:40:26 EDT

    "I've never clicked with someone so quickly, or felt so safe and secure."   You shouldn't be feeling this way after only a few weeks. Big red flag the size of Tiananmen Square. It's also not true, bec more »

  • Posted 10/09/2012 01:31:20 EDT

    Well done, white rabbit.

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