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  • Posted 12/19/2013 10:04:46 EST

    The reason I hate giving gifts is because when growing up I watched my dad give gifts to my mom, and no matter what he gave her, it wasn't quite right. Dad would be so excited each year. He'd go to gr more »

  • Posted 12/19/2013 09:56:33 EST

    This year get your boyfriend a copy of "The Five Love Languages" and read it yourself first. Then sit down and discuss it together. It's clear that your particular love language is "receiving gifts." more »

  • Posted 06/27/2013 09:58:30 EDT

    It's the only story that matters. However, perhaps he thought that saying "it's not you, it's me; my heart belongs to another" would be nicer and gentler way to let her down. It stops any attempt to n more »

  • Posted 06/27/2013 09:46:19 EDT

    "I don't know why he's trying to will himself away from it. He loves her, and she loves him." You are only getting his side of the story. It's quite possible she does not love him, she has him firmly more »

  • Posted 06/06/2012 09:42:40 EDT

    If all this happened over the course of three weeks, by my calculations, and reading your letter carefully, you spent maybe one weekend, one week tops, taking care of yourself. Do the math. Three mont more »

  • Posted 06/01/2012 01:07:40 EDT

    ygren wrote: But, I'm ambivalent on whether he's being a coward or not. *** The method to my madness there was to throw down the coward card in the hopes it might wake him up a bit. Either it'll reson more »

  • Posted 06/01/2012 12:04:25 EDT

    Excellent response, ygren. Since unemployment is such a blow to one's identity, maybe the letter writer is simply fantasizing escape? In this economy, it's frustrating to pin one's identity on their a more »

  • Posted 06/01/2012 11:42:25 EDT

    sexual-chocolate wrote: I dont think the layoff is the main issue, sure its a blow to any marriage, but all this layoff did was expose the depth of the dysfunction in the marriage. **** Actually, and more »

  • Posted 06/01/2012 11:25:14 EDT

    Hoarding behavior often stems from a traumatic event that left the person worried about where the next meal or whatever might come. It's a way to control the uncontrollable. I know we're assuming a lo more »

  • Posted 06/01/2012 10:06:23 EDT

    Letter says nothing about kids or their ages. "Unusable" -- not sure what that means. Since he says "One third of the home is unusable" I'm going to guess this means it is packed with clutter. Items p more »

  • Posted 06/01/2012 09:42:44 EDT

    I agree therapy would be good idea, but I'm guessing it's not an option at this time, since therapy costs money and it's money you probably don't have right now. Loss of a job is considered one of the more »

  • Posted 05/25/2012 09:57:43 EDT

    GuppyBladder wrote: A lot of cheaters cheat not because they don't care or love their spouse/partner. There are plenty of reasons. ______ True. Number one reason for cheating? Opportunity. The better more »

  • Posted 05/25/2012 09:45:06 EDT

    User Image Lily- wrote: How can he accept it all so easily? ________________________________________ Maybe because he believes his friend when he tells him that it's over and he's focused on the relat more »

  • Posted 05/25/2012 09:38:16 EDT

    ........ alternatively, the reason cheating happens is that we all turn and look the other way. It's written into the social contract: cheating is not ever condoned, except by our silent complicity. I more »

  • Posted 05/25/2012 09:30:37 EDT

    When someone overly focuses on somebody else's business, I like to ask "what is it on your own plate that you are avoiding?" LW, I think your uncomfortable emotions have little to do with your concern more »

  • Posted 05/23/2012 12:53:37 EDT

    Makenoexcuses, I never retired. I was busy working on more anecdotes. more »

  • Posted 05/23/2012 12:48:52 EDT

    ygren wrote:
    "So, if you are absolutely the marrying kind"

    We're all the marrying kind until we've done it a couple of times. more »

  • Posted 05/23/2012 12:46:48 EDT

    You know I think even George Clooney would get married, if the right woman crossed his path.

    Unfortunately I got arrested for stalking. more »

  • Posted 05/23/2012 12:44:23 EDT

    I'm having a liquid lunch. Because my 19 year old daughter has a 19 year old friend over for lunch, and I just realized they decided to have wine with that. And it was the last of my good bottle of re more »

  • Posted 05/23/2012 11:25:03 EDT

    Mistral1 wrote: "I think that people need to better understand and identify the "Anna Karenina" problem when they run into it. Tolstoy wrote that "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is more »

  • Posted 05/23/2012 10:48:32 EDT

    Goldie31 wrote: "Oh AE, where were you when I was in my 20s to enlighten me with these gems?" I was busy making every relationship mistake in the book, so I'd have a lot of relevant anecdotes. Relevan more »

  • Posted 05/23/2012 10:28:49 EDT

    LW, if you continue to stay with a man who tells you he is a commitment phobe, that makes you one too. Can you see this?

    When it comes to commitment phobia, it often takes one to know one. more »

  • Posted 05/23/2012 10:26:44 EDT

    Gee-Off wrote: "So if you over shot the first deadline but eventually married, you're going to get divorced? Interesting" By matters of degrees, of course-- and I suppose also allotting for special ci more »

  • Posted 05/23/2012 09:44:40 EDT

    You don't say your age, which is relevant. If you want the scientific answer, statistics show that if a couple does not marry by year 4, they will probably never marry, and that couples who marry afte more »

  • Posted 05/22/2012 09:10:21 EDT

    BigSigh wrote: "And I have more of a hunch that she bought the house on her own as a move to anchor the boyfriend in one place. Using real estate to manipulate people into doing what you want them to more »