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  • Posted 07/28/2015 09:20:39 EDT

    California answer!!! Write down what you want in your long term relationship. Use affirmations to state that this is what you have in your life and stop feeling a victim to chance. You are not. Your d more »

  • Posted 07/27/2015 10:07:13 EDT

    I really think you should get a job just to get a reality check on life. If you are bringing in your own money you'll have a sense of how to manage it. Many people today, through no fault of their own more »

  • Posted 07/27/2015 07:43:29 EDT

    Oh how terrible, something is disclosed to the public! How dare we know anything. more »

  • Posted 07/24/2015 10:30:02 EDT

    Doesn't matter how you meet. Going to the couple level is always a bit of a jolt. It just is. Since you know so much about each other already, that's very likely. Enjoy it and send your rational mind more »

  • Posted 07/23/2015 01:15:28 EDT

    Dear LW, how can a marriage succeed with a third party in the middle of it? You only know what your friend chooses to tell you about their relationship and what you want to hear. You will only acknowl more »

  • Posted 07/22/2015 10:54:41 EDT

    To your question, LW, I don't think you can initiate this conversation without insulting him. Yes, it sounds suspicious that he spends time with you, likes to talk about people, listens to you, and se more »

  • Posted 07/21/2015 09:22:35 EDT

    If I asked an ex who was with someone else to buy me flowers, it would definitely be a control thing to keep him hooked in, and to cause a divide. I think you are dealing with a woman here who is a bi more »

  • Posted 07/16/2015 09:35:10 EDT

    Well, having put up with the worst, myself, I think staying with someone you do really love is important. 35 and 36 are ages to start growing up and most people do eventually. Instead of leading by re more »

  • Posted 07/13/2015 10:23:54 EDT

    Ok, this may sound counter intuitive (as apparently do a lot of my posts), but YOU may be the one afraid of commitment. I'd review your past-relationship with Dad, or other important males to look at more »

  • Comment on: Is She Into Me?

    Posted 07/10/2015 11:31:22 EDT

    First rule of women: (as you can see from all the letters). Make yourself scarce and she'll come running. Be mysterious, drop hints of other "friends" and she'll go crazy. Take up a manly sport like s more »

  • Posted 07/09/2015 09:14:11 EDT

    I usually think people should stay together, but not necessarily here. This guy is really controlling the show and in a way that will kill your self esteem if you go on. He is not transparent and he i more »

  • Comment on: Boyfriend Or Baby

    Posted 07/08/2015 09:27:12 EDT

    Many of us women who married late in life had to watch our baby dreams leave the pier. It's one of those things you just find a way to be bigger than in your mind. My way is to enjoy the freedom (part more »

  • Posted 07/07/2015 10:23:48 EDT

    Dear LW, although it's hard that your beau may be heartbroken about someone who is not you, you have found someone with his head on straight about love. His difficult lesson may have shown him the tru more »

  • Posted 07/06/2015 10:22:56 EDT

    Ok time for the California answer! You can stack the deck by using affirmations and prayer. Really! Just say what you want in a guy out loud. No wishing and hoping, more as a declaration he is already more »

  • Comment on: Holiday Updates

    Posted 07/02/2015 09:50:38 EDT

    Wow! These made my day!! Good news is the best. Happy marriages to all. more »

  • Posted 07/01/2015 10:36:07 EDT

    You guys sound married! More commitment may change his behavior for the better or worse depending on his pathology. Maybe you should tell him what you told us strangers. After all, regardless, you two more »

  • Comment on: Attached To Mike

    Posted 06/30/2015 09:03:42 EDT

    Hmmm, running one life is hard enough. I'd focus on your own. You only reinforce Mike's hopelessness by deciding you are the only answer for his life. I'd put on a new pair of glasses and see Mike as more »

  • Posted 06/29/2015 09:49:06 EDT

    Well, one way to deal with controlling behavior (which is what his is) is to go off the reservation entirely. You can't control him, or the situation, so you could make your own new environment with n more »

  • Posted 06/26/2015 09:12:31 EDT

    You are making the rest of us feel bad, LW! You may have ruined a few days--and nights with this one. At least you have given us something to aspire to. more »

  • Comment on: Did I Overreact?

    Posted 06/25/2015 10:19:09 EDT

    My intuition says that he did something that you wouldn't approve of (like hitting up another woman at the cookout-and it didn't work out) and his freak out was part guilt, part anger at his obvious f more »

  • Comment on: Has He Moved On?

    Posted 06/24/2015 09:22:25 EDT

    Hello LW, I have discovered in my years as a woman that men are not like us. If you push them away they don't run back (like we do). What works for them on us (pushing us away makes us run towards the more »

  • Posted 06/18/2015 09:18:02 EDT

    Yes, I agree, about the free ho comment. You might find a male friend with no sex more rewarding than a man who takes this sexual level of intimacy for granted. This situation seems like it would be h more »

  • Posted 06/15/2015 10:18:56 EDT

    Thanks Bzzn for your gentleness. It's appreciated. In a 16 year marriage we recovered from the most horrendous cheat with the most thorough snooping that laid the former out in all its' horror. There more »

  • Posted 06/15/2015 09:40:20 EDT

    I am someone who bases my comments on my own experience and tries not to judge harshly. If that's being a moron, then I'll be a moron. more »

  • Posted 06/15/2015 09:12:35 EDT

    LW, why don't you try to contact him, rewind and get to a place of honesty about how you really feel about each other. The rest is just game playing and you can pretty much throw away the previous act more »