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Forum Post: All done here
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Forum Post: Tom Brady
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Forum Post: Double post
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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.more » -
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps… from moving cars.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous… everyone hasn't met me yet.
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Once when I was lost and I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we’ll ever find them?" He said, "I don’t know kid. There are so many places they can h more »
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My wife isn’t very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, “Did you see the guy that did it?” She said, “No, but I got the licens more »
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- My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
more » - My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend. more »
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Boy, is my wife stupid! It takes her an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughter's no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.
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I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, "No one drag is enough."
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…went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. "Surprise me", I said. So he showed me a naked picture of my wife.
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I'm so ugly... I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going and I tell the guy, "The car behind me is paying for two." more »
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I was so depressed on last Thanksgiving that I decided to jump from the tenth floor. They sent up a priest. He said "On your mark... " When I was a kid my parents moved around a lot, but I always foun more »
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"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
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oklie doklie
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Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
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For all you who say "don't tell us what kind of fans to be" I say YES, I WILL TELL YOU. Have some loyalty, some respect, and some sense of history. You complain more than Buffalo fans, more than more »