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andy_rooney

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  • Comment on: He Changed

    Posted 05/11/2015 08:26:32 EDT

    Ever notice these strange groups of people running through the city, wearing dancing clothes and carrying huge bags of what looks like salt, or maybe wheat? I can't figure out what would lead a grown more »

  • Posted 04/10/2015 02:12:05 EDT

    These days with women owning property and working alongside men, they think they can up and do whatever they please. Did you ever notice that when all they could do was be secretaries, nurses or teach more »

  • Posted 03/16/2015 05:59:30 EDT

    Al, you always were a bore, even for a Jew. more »

  • Comment on: Sex After 50?

    Posted 12/29/2014 09:38:35 EST

    Disgusting. more »

  • Posted 10/01/2014 11:44:17 EDT

    Young lady, you may have been born two generations after me but you should still know your place in this world. Did you ever notice that the girls who burned their bras and did those reefer hippie dru more »

  • Posted 11/08/2013 10:32:24 EST

    Exactly what kind of America are we living in where a woman thinks of a half-hour car ride as "long distance." I once dated a girl who lived a 90-minute walk from my home, and I could only see her whe more »

  • Posted 07/22/2013 04:06:12 EDT

    My cousin married a British girl back in the 1950s and she knew how to make maybe four terrible, tasteless dishes.  Really gruesome stuff, with mountains of pasty potatoes and some kind of sausage tha more »

  • Posted 07/17/2013 04:40:49 EDT

    Where's that woman who's into guys with grey hair? How does she feel about catheters?

    more »

  • Posted 07/17/2013 10:43:11 EDT

    When I was over in London during World War II, the boys and I often went out drinking. We would draw straws and  the loser would have to dance with the fattest young woman in the place. Well Billy los more »

  • Posted 07/17/2012 11:19:46 EDT

    Even old guys need young stuff. more »

  • Posted 06/19/2012 08:56:21 EDT

    I recommend that Jorge keep the hat on. more »

  • Posted 02/02/2012 08:21:30 EST

    I can't say that I ever saw Soul Train, nor did I pay attention to American Bandstand or any of that rebellious claptrap that started in the 1960s. Even nice boys like the Dave Clark Five got caught u more »

  • Comment on: I've been cut off

    Posted 12/14/2011 02:24:44 EST

    For a dead guy, I look good. more »

  • Comment on: I've been cut off

    Posted 12/14/2011 02:17:47 EST

    diamondgirl, what in sam hill are you talking about? more »

  • Comment on: How can I forgive?

    Posted 12/12/2011 12:55:22 EST

    All I ever wanted as a young lad was for Anne Bancroft to pump me and make me yell "WATER!" more »

  • Posted 12/09/2011 12:25:13 EST

    Rather is a degenerate meth-head. He loved to suck on Ed Bradley's cancerous earlobes. more »

  • Comment on: A co-worker crush

    Posted 11/23/2011 09:18:36 EST

    I could never get used to the idea of a woman asking a man out on a date. One time an intern at CBS - who didn't know I was married - asked me to dinner. I immediately told her what a breach of ethics more »

  • Posted 11/07/2011 12:53:09 EST

    I don't actually hear any beeping from my machines anymore. Somebody should alert the nurse and tell her the machine's broken - these damn things don't work the way they used to when Americans built t more »

  • Posted 11/07/2011 09:12:16 EST

    I am not concerned about physical illnesses. more »

  • Posted 11/04/2011 02:40:43 EDT

    When I was in my early years at the newspapers, we ran a column where chess players could comment on strategy by mail, and we would print excerpts from some of the letters on alternate Thursdays.  Som more »

  • Comment on: How do I say no?

    Posted 10/31/2011 07:39:42 EDT

    Nurse

    NURSE more »

  • Comment on: How do I say no?

    Posted 10/28/2011 11:13:50 EDT

    When I was in my forties a beautiful woman from Reuters once propositioned me in the lobby of the Statler Buffalo. I was on deadline and had to phone the boys back in the office. I had trouble making more »

  • Posted 10/26/2011 09:38:55 EDT

    The Haitian orderlies apparently think it's funny to change my television channel and hide my remote, not that I could lift it if I found it. They leave it on some new MTV network that has shows about more »

  • Posted 10/26/2011 11:54:20 EDT

    bip

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    bip more »

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