“Fifty Shades of Grey” screenwriter announced

By June Wulff, Globe Staff

It was the white-hot book of the year. Will the film version be just as hot?

Casting for the film adaptation of “Fifty Shades of Grey” hasn’t yet been announced, but screenplay duties will go to Kelly Marcel, who wrote the script for “Saving Mr. Banks.”

We’re hoping that producers Michael De Luca and Dana Brunetti give serious consideration to Larry David and Susie Essman for the roles of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele. The “Curb Your Enthusiasm” stars share all the passion, desperation, and disrespect found in the E. L. James bestseller, and surely David can learn to curse in French, tickle the ivories, and land a plane. Essman is a literature student if ever there was one. The age thing is a bit of an issue, but steamy sex is steamy sex.

So much has been written about this so-called mommy-porn phenom. Soon, fans will be able to hyperventilate in the same room.