It’s Wednesday, May 14. The sun came up, the Earth continued to rotate, and Canadian pop star Justin Bieber is in trouble.
The Kansas City Star reported Bieber allegedly stole someone’s cell phone at a miniature golf course on Tuesday night. A woman claims Bieber took her phone after he thought she was using it to take his picture, the report said. A report from TMZ included a little more detail, including that Bieber went into the woman’s purse to get the phone when she wouldn’t hand it over, that she was “wrestling” with him to get it back, and that he ripped it from her hands only to find the phone had a passcode.
More from TMZ:
She says Justin gave her the phone back and demanded that she unlock it to see if she took photos. She obliged and showed Justin she had taken none. She says she told Justin she and her 13-year-old daughter just wanted to say hi, and Justin screamed, "You're humiliating yourself in front of your daughter. Why don't you just get out of here." Her daughter started crying.
She says at that point Justin turned and started screaming at someone else.
Police said the singer is not accused of keeping the phone.
Anyone at that mini golf course has to be disappointed in this latest installment in Bieber’s Worldwide Criminal Deviant Tour. Snatching a woman’s phone and making her daughter cry sounds bad, but for him this is nothing, especially in a year where he has woven a rich tapestry of grumpy child star crimes. After all, it’s only May and he’s already been accused of egging his neighbor’s house to the tune of $20,000 in damage in California, driving under the influence and resisting arrest in Florida, and assaulting a limousine driver in Toronto.
In comparison, a sort-of-stolen cell phone is small potatoes. Everyone deserves an off night, but this could be the start of Bieber’s decline as a celebrity criminal. And while that may sound like good news, take a minute to realize that a Justin Bieber not getting into legal trouble raises a lot of challenging questions. Will the sun come up? Will the Earth rotate? Will Rob Ford be the only remaining way to make fun of Canada? Let’s hope we never have to find out the answers.You can reach me at email@example.com. Follow me @dougsaffir