NILS MUNSON, Sarasota, Fla.

(an old Rhode Island Yankee)

A. The only way: Take up the tiles and screw down boards or plywood onto the subfloor, and if possible, use 2 1/2-inch screws and drive them through both floors and into the joists. What this does is pull the two floors together so that they sit tight on the joists, and don't move when walked on. That movement, now, is causing the squeaks. And if your daughter plans to change the tiles, it will be good timing for Dad to do all the work at the same time.

Q. I am plagued by squeaky hinges all over my house. I applied graphite without success. Now what? The squeaking is on doors with old hinges and those with new hinges.

FRED BAUTZE, Sudbury

A. The graphite should have silenced the squeaks, but did not, perhaps, because it was not applied properly. When you use the graphite, take the pins out and spray or apply the graphite to the pins and to the knuckles of the hinge; there are 3 knuckles on one leaf of the hinge and 2 on the other. Larger hinges may have 4 and 3, respectively. And be sure to apply the graphite on the tops of the knuckles as well as inside them, because most of the squeaking is caused by the knuckles rubbing against each other. And, in order to get the graphite on all surfaces, dismount the door so that the knuckles are exposed.

You can use WD40 instead of graphite; it is cleaner and more easily applied.

Sometimes, particularly in the case of old hinges, the pins are bent, which contribute to the squeaking. Check the pins for straightness when you remove them. If they are bent, you can straighten them out by tappintg them, carefully, with a hammer.

Q. I have a funny knocking and rattling noise in the wall between bathrooms in a house on Cape Cod. There are no animals, no heating devices and no water in that area. What is it and what can I do about it? There is no connection to the sounds when the water is turned on or off, the toilet flushed or any other activity.

M.M., Framingham

A. Gremlins? A poltergeist? The only way to find out is to open that wall. That may be a lot of work, but what else can one do? Since this is a wall between two bathrooms, it might contain a vertical 4-inch soil pipe -- usually too wide for a regular wall -- and water pipes. The pipes might be touching wood, and something is moving to make the knocking sound. If a pipe is secured to a stud, it might be loose enough to knock against the wood when it moves; or, it might be a little too tight, so it knocks when it expands and contracts from heat and cold.

In either case, you might be able to insert a rubber gasket or cushion between fastener and pipe, to cushion that knocking sound but not hold the pipe too tight.

Sometimes the water pipes are not fastened from floor to ceiling in that wall, making them flexible and very easily moved. In that case, secure them.

In fact, you might be able to check them in the basement where they go up through the basement ceiling and into the wall.

Give them a gentle tug and try to wiggle them back and forth; if they are loose they should be secured, carefully. Securing them just in the basement might help. If you can do that, you won't have to open the wall.

Electrical noises
The saga of the mysterious snaps in Kay Carter's house continues. Those snaps, quite loud, were at random and seemed to come from everywhere.

Nancy Hoover of Boxborough called to tell her experience with a similar snap in her house. It turned out, she said, that it was an electrical short that was arcing, and when it arcs, it makes a distinct, loud snap. And, it is a fire hazard, she said.

``We found a short in our wired smoke detector, and when we removed the detector, the ceiling was sorched.''

Basil Kakafoochie wrote: ``Mrs. Kakafoochie and I experience the same type of sounds in our house, and they are continuing. We finally discovered it by accident.

``The oven of our electric stove is equipped with three steel removable panels for cleaning. About a year after we got the stove we began to hear rather pronounced, loud snaps, sometimes several over a period of hours, at other times one or two, or none at all.

``One night we discovered that the noise was coming from our oven, and was caused by contracting of the three panels. We further discovered that this could go on for hours, at least an hour or so after using the oven, at times only once or twice, other times several repetitive snaps over a period of hours.

``Maybe you can pass this info to Kay.''

We certainly will, and thank you, Basil Kakafoochie and Nancy Hoover.

Here's another idea as to what Kay Carter of Southborough described as ``snaps'' in her house; loud pops that occurred randomly and seemed to come from every part of the house.

Diana Abrashkin of Lincoln wrote that it might be a smoke detector, sounding off as its batteries wore out. ``I had the same thing and it was quite `ventriloquial': It sounded here and there upstairs, yet finally was discovered in the basement. The detector may be testing itself or starting to signal that the battery will need replacement soon.''

Interesting point, Diana Abrashkin. Usually, battery-powered detectors make a chirp when the battery starts to fade, but I suppose there are detectors that make other sounds.

I'm intrigued by your word ``ventriloquial,'' so I looked it up (one of my favorite pastimes is looking up words in the dictionary). And, there it was, right on page 1,576 of Webster's New World. I thought ``ventriloquistic'' might be a better word, and while that, too, is in the dictionary, either word is appropriate. Ah, words; they're wonderful, especially in the newspaper business.

Q. How does one stop squeaks in a floor under carpeting, without pulling up the carpet?

H.M.M., Moline, Ill.

A. This is an old question, answered a million times, but since H.M.M. left no return address in his/her note, the handyman is obliged to answer in the column. He hopes H.M.M. sees it. The squeaks occurred when the floor boards (both the top floor boards and the subfloor boards, or plywood) dried out and shrank. With this shrinkage, the nails lost their grip, and the two floors move when walked on; the squeak is the sound of the wood scraping against the nails. The cure is to make sure the floorboards do not move. Sometimes in summer, the squeaks go away because the wood has taken on moisture and expanded.

There are two ways to fix the squeaks. 1. If the floor is the main floor of the house, and the underside of the floor is open in the basement, drive shims (tapered shingles make good shims) between the floor boards (or plywood) and joists (the beams holding up the floor). This will bring the floors tightly against the joists and each other, preventing movement.

2. If the floor boards are not accessible from below, try this: The Improvements Catalog sells what it calls Squeeeeek (yes, misspelled with no fewer than five e's) No More, a kit containing an alignment and depth-control tool and 50 three-inch screws. Set up the alignment tool in the right spot (preferably over a joist) and drive the screw with a power driver to the right depth, then break off the screw, which is scored to allow easy breaking under the floor surface. Fluff up the carpet and you're done. It's best to drive the screws into a joist; if you can't find the joist, second best is to drive through both floors. This system will work on floors without carpeting, too; the holes left by the broken-off screws are easy to fill with wood filler.

To order Item 110189, call 800-642-2112.