July 25, 2007 9:04 AM

Hey Dad, welcome to our world
Posted by Diane Danielsonat 9:04 AM

I was out of the office on vacation and surprised none of my single dad pals sent me this article in the Boston Globe about being Daddy Tracked. I have to admit that I cringed at the headline and almost didn’t read it assuming it was about yet another study showing that the group who prospers most in business are married men or fathers after they divorce. But, lo and behold, this article was about single dads with custody and how they had to sacrifice their careers just like single moms in the similar situation.

Over all, I thought the article was really, really good! It showed in a fair and balanced way that being the sole custodian, no matter what your gender, affects your career and earnings. In fact there was only one paragraph that I thought was not in line with the rest of this article:

In a society that emphasizes the individual solving his or her own problems and offers little in the way of social assistance and services, men say they can feel overwhelmed and lonely and yet less able to turn to others for help for fear of being labeled unmanly or unable to cope. "No one wants a call at 8:30 saying, ‘Can I drop my sick kid off so I can get to work?’" Saltz says.

Well, not sure how this is unique to single dads. I don't know any parent who wants to make that call. In fact, the problem is a lack of support for ALL parents (male, female, single AND married). We don’t have the resources to support parents in an economy that relies on extreme jobs (i.e. any job that require more than 40 hours per week) to pay the bills. Having recently spent two weeks in Europe, it’s just such a different environment over there. (Don’t get me wrong, I know they have worse problems in other areas, but they do have a lot more resources, support and acceptance when it comes to children).

What was outstanding about the article (until that paragraph) was that it emphasized that being the sole custodian was the same no matter the gender.

However, I definitely agree with the gender differences the reporter points out in the next portion which talks about how single dads (especially of girls) are looked at with extra scrutiny as potential sexual predators. I really feel for them on this one. Unfortunately for them, men seem to make up the majority of sexual predators (I don’t have any statistical data, so please feel free to provide or disagree), so they’re stuck with the stereotype.

But as I seem to find more and more stay at home dads and single dads with custody in my world, I’m hoping we’ll start breaking down stereotypes as we build up resources that can benefit all children.

Click here to read the whole article.