Time to change things, but how?

It takes more than willpower, so understand your motivations

By Etelka Lehoczky, Globe Correspondent, 1/9/05

Globe Staff Photo/Matthew J. Lee Jennifer Cunningham, 29, and Andrew Becker, 26, discuss their New Year's resolutions and how to keep them. She wants to do a better job of networking; he aims to become an entrepreuner.

January is prime time for people to survey their lives and reassess careers, and Somerville resident Andrew Becker has some lofty goals for changing his work life.

After a few years of dealing with less-than-challenging desk jobs and corporate bureaucracy, the 26-year-old engineering graduate wants to make 2005 the year he breaks free. Becker vows he'll make a go of it as an entrepreneur.

''In the coming year I hope to more clearly define my goals,'' he says. ''I want to avoid doing things that aren't challenging to me, that aren't building my foundations. I want to have more freedom.''

The first step to making sure you fulfill resolutions is understanding how they work on your unconscious, according to career counselors and psychologists.

''Sometimes people make resolutions just because it's the thing to do -- they're at a New Year's party and it's like, 'Let's make a resolution,''' says Christine A. Padesky, coauthor of ''Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think.''

''The more important the resolution is to you, the more likely you are to actually do it. You [should] say, 'You know, I'm so sick of this, and this is the year I'm going to tackle this, and nothing's going to get in my way.'''

Even as you make a resolution, though, you may know unconsciously that you're not going to keep it.

James O. Prochaska, a psychologist at the University of Rhode Island and coauthor of the book ''Changing for Good,'' says this unconscious resistance sabotages many resolutions. If you can't stick with a resolution, he says, you may be in a ''precontemplation'' stage in regard to that part of your life. If you hate your job but never get around to sending out résumés, you're probably still unconsciously weighing your need for a change against the security of your current position.

''It's not a matter of not wanting to change, it's a matter of not intending to at this time,'' Prochaska says. ''If you're in a precontemplation stage, you need to become aware of all the benefits of taking action in order to progress'' toward the goal.

Resolutions can galvanize you to focus more intensely on goals, as in Becker's case. He believes his resolutions will help him tackle unfamiliar situations and develop his people skills.

''One resolution I have is to push myself into situations that may not be comfortable -- to get out of [my] comfort zone a little bit,'' he says. He plans to ''go to networking events and just walk up to people who are total strangers and try to pick their brains.''

One of the most common career-related resolutions is to improve networking. Like Becker, most of us wish we were more aggressive about making and maintaining professional contacts. In ''52 Ways to Re-connect, Follow Up and Stay in Touch,'' authors Anne Baber and Lynne Waymon note that most networkers fail to follow up with contacts and build long-term relationships.

Indeed, Becker's girlfriend, Cambridge resident Jennifer Cunningham, has also vowed to build this skill in 2005. ''I need to talk to more people and really follow up and hone in -- maybe be more pushy,'' says Cunningham, 29.

Whether Cunningham and Becker stick with their resolutions will depend on more than willpower. Norcross says one of the biggest fallacies about the process of change is that it's simply a matter of determination.

''When I give workshops, I ask people, 'Where did you learn to change?' They just kind of look at one another,'' he says. ''There's a real science of behavior change that virtually no one learns.''

There are also a host of more tangible barriers to change. Commitments, routines, and even the way personal space is organized can all reinforce your tendency to lapse into the old way of doing things.

''If we step back and identify those roadblocks, we can make some preparations in our life that will allow us to make the changes we want,'' Padesky says. ''If you're working in a company where the whole management style is to do things at the last minute, and you want to set a resolution to get things done ahead of time, there's an impediment already set up that will make things more difficult.''

Another crucial step, Norcross says, is to get beyond vague ideas of what you want and focus on specific, attainable goals.

In Becker's case, that means taking concrete steps toward entrepreneurial success. He's exploring two potential business ventures and is searching for established entrepreneurs to mentor him. Realizing that his engineering degree hasn't equipped him to succeed in business, he's decided to study sales techniques. He enrolled in a program in December.

''I had no idea how to approach a sales situation,'' he says. ''Like a cold-call situation -- I had no idea how to approach that. The training will help develop my skills while avoiding having to do trial-and-error on actual clients.''

Norcross suggests applying motivational techniques to keep resolutions on track, such as a good pat on the back when you complete a difficult task.

''Reward yourself for doing what you're supposed to,'' he says. ''I use Hemingway's procedure: He wasn't allowed to go fishing until he wrote so many words.''