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How to brag, like a professional

Consultant urges women to talk themselves up the corporate ladder

By Diane E. Lewis, Globe Staff, 9/5/04

Globe Staff Photo/Matthew J. Lee Leadership consultant Peggy Klaus excitedly urges women at a recent workshop in Boston to stand up, speak up - and brag about themselves. "...if you don't talk about your accomplishments," she says, "who will?"   Globe Staff Photo/Matthew J. Lee Martha R.A. Fields (left) and Janice DuFresne brag about themselves during a workshop led by consultant Peggy Klaus.

Peggy Klaus raced down the aisle, exhorting the 150 or so women professionals and business owners packed into a meeting room at Citizens Bank to stand up, speak up -- and brag.

''Women have been hit over the head with the idea that if they talk about themselves, people won't like them,'' said Klaus. ''But if you don't talk about your accomplishments, who will?''

Klaus, president of Klaus & Associates, a leadership consulting firm in Berkeley, Calif., has been delivering that message around the country for about a year. She says her coaching sessions are designed to teach professionals and executives to boast about themselves without appearing cocky, egotistical, or obnoxious.

Women need work on talking their way into the corner office. Half of all professional and managerial jobs in the United States are held by women, according to Catalyst, the New York research firm. But they continue to lag behind men with respect to the highest jobs, with just 7.9 percent of the top executive positions at Fortune 500 firms. They also represent only 5.2 percent of the country's top earners.

Klaus contends that by focusing on the best way to promote themselves at work, women can better position themselves for such leadership roles. But first they have to get rid of the old-fashioned idea that women should be modest and self-effacing rather than self-promoting.

''I was taught growing up that good girls do not call attention to themselves,'' said Klaus. ''You were supposed to put the boy in the spotlight because he had a fragile ego. There was all this guilt about taking the spotlight and the jobs away from guys.''

Kim Morris, project director at ISR, a Chicago employee research firm, believes there are clear differences in the way male and female managers approach work -- and promote themselves. Morris, whose company recently released a four-year study on gender differences in the business, said the data suggest women still don't feel safe speaking up the way men do.

''Women, as opposed to men, may think that a company is not providing quality products, but they will not say so,'' said Morris. ''They may even have information that shows what a company can do to become more competitive, but they will not share it because they are afraid.''

When it comes to career development, women are more likely to focus on how to improve relationships at work than how to position themselves for a raise, said Morris. By contrast, men are almost always focused on career development.

At last month's event sponsored by the Commonwealth Institute, a nonprofit that encourages business leadership among women, Klaus showed the participants how to promote themselves by having them pair off for ''brag fests,'' where each would tout to a partner successful events in her personal or professional life.

To make her point, Klaus singled out Joan Wallace-Benjamin, president and chief executive of The Home for Little Wanderers, and asked her to tell the crowd about herself and her job. Quietly and without much fanfare, Wallace-Benjamin stood up and gave her name, title, and a brief description of the nonprofit child welfare agency she leads.

Klaus wasn't satisfied with Wallace-Benjamin's monologue. She whisked her out of the room for a bit of coaching while the audience worked on another bragging exercise. Klaus helped Wallace-Benjamin limber up. She asked her to think about what she loves about her work. Lastly, she encouraged Wallace-Benjamin to recite these key details out loud, with enthusiasm.

''She showed me how to go over the top,'' Wallace-Benjamin said in an interview after the event. ''I usually go into public speaking with a knot in my stomach and a high level of angst. So, maybe ramping myself up will help me.''

A former actress and classical singer, Klaus relied on a similar technique before performances. She uses the exercise to help professionals arm themselves before going to see the boss about a promotion, going to an interview, or making a presentation.

''I knew that if I was afraid or nervous, my voice would get smaller,'' Klaus recalled. ''But if I projected bigger and went over the top beforehand, then by the time I was ready to perform, I would come down to a level that was comfortable for me.''

Klaus said that's what happened with Wallace-Benjamin. ''When she came back, she owned that room. And no one thought she was bragging about herself. She came across as excited about her job.''

Aileen Gorman, executive director of the Commonwealth Institute, said the goal of the brag party was to encourage women to acknowledge their accomplishments and freely discuss them. She pointed out that some women downplay their successes because they have been taught that their work should speak for itself. Others are afraid of being perceived as self-promoting or arrogant. But reticence can hamper their attempts to get ahead, especially in a highly competitive environment, said Gorman.

Some specialists say women are less likely to speak up because they still face workplace discrimination and they know it. As a result, they proceed more cautiously than their male counterparts. In fact, these specialists say, bragging could harm their careers.

''The fact that women do not brag or promote themselves is probably good,'' said Deborah Kolb, a professor of management at the Simmons School of Management in Boston. ''Why? Because they face a double-bind. You must promote yourself. But when women do it, they are seen as pushy. So, women learn to develop their own approach.''

She said successful women move ahead because they have figured out how to prevent bias from derailing their careers. But Kolb questioned whether self-promotion should play a role in determining competence on the job. Corporate America, she said, should be looking for more equitable ways to evaluate performance.

Kolb does not support brag parties. ''These events always view women as deficient,'' she said. ''They overlook the things that women do well. I have a problem with that.''

Bragging might not be appropriate in some settings, conceded diversity consultant Martha R.A. Fields, who participated in the recent brag event. But, she said, women tend to have a tougher time figuring out how to sell themselves and that can also negatively impact their careers.

''There is a time to sell and a time not to,'' said Fields, president of Fields Associates Inc. in Cambridge. ''Women don't know how to tastefully toot their own horns, and then they get into a situation where they see others promoted around them and they are not. In other words, they haven't positioned themselves appropriately beforehand so that the people around them know what they want from their careers.''

Klaus contends that in an era of downsizings, rightsizings, and restructurings, the only way to survive in corporate America these days is to actively promote oneself. She's written a book supporting that idea titled ''BRAG! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It.''

Since the book was published last year, Klaus has led about 50 brag parties and workshops around the country for firms like General Mills, SC Johnson, General Motors, JP Morgan Chase and Credit Suisse First Boston. She also speaks to women's groups, though she says some men need just as much encouragement.

People ''avoid bragging at all costs because they don't know how to do it gracefully,'' Klaus said.

Diane E. Lewis can be reached at .

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