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The joys and perils of office gift swaps

By Joyce Pellino Crane, Globe Correspondent, 12/14/03

To this day Shanti Skiffington isn't sure if the mousepad imprinted with her boss's face was a secret Santa joke or a heartfelt gift but, six years later, she's still laughing about it.

''I had just started at the agency,'' said Skiffington, vice president of Schwartz Communications in Waltham. ''Every year we have ''secret Schwartz'' and we leave little gifts for people. At the end we write poems to help them guess who we are. Well, I didn't have to guess, because I was staring at his mug.''

Gwen Gulick, director of the Horn Group, a public relations firm in Braintree, said a live goldfish in a fishbowl was the goofiest gift ever fished out of the office swap.

''It was pretty funny because it couldn't be wrapped,'' she said. ''It was part of our holiday gift swap and it became our little office mascot until it met a fairly early demise as goldfish often do.''

Office gift exchanges like those Skiffington and Gulick participated in are a cheerful holiday tradition, one that many employers recognize as an invaulable way to boost morale and help foster camaraderie among staffers, especially during difficult economic times.

''Employees want to be recognized as part of a team,'' said Beverly Keaton, director of compensation and benefits at Stride Rite Corp. in Lexington. ''Those old traditions like Yankee swaps do that. It gives you a sense of community and being part of a department. Because organizations are so short-staffed any opportunity to get people together in your department is an opportunity to bond.''

And many workers get into the spirit of the season: a Harris Interactive poll commissioned by retailer Office Depot found that 55 percent of employed adults purchased work-related holiday gifts last year, and 33 percent indicated that their place of employment would be doing a gift exchange this holiday season.

But participating in an office gift swap can leave some workers anxiously straddling the line between personal and professional lives. They worry about what to give - and sometimes what they might get - in front of coworkers. Specialists said that a poorly planned event can quickly lead to unpredictable and sometimes unhappy outcomes as creative minds seek to stun, impress, or get a laugh from colleagues.

Gift giving can be ''a strange situation because it's a merging of the personal and professional areas,'' said Jennifer Schramm, manager of workplace trends and forecasting at the Society for Human Resource Management in Alexandria, Va. ''It's the time of year where people are gathering in a purely social way. There's opportunity for awkward situations.''

Workplace gift exchanges probably sprang up to ensure that everyone gets to participate in the fun, said specialists.

''It's to avoid cliques from forming in the company and one person getting a gift and not another,'' said Hilda Klinkenberg, founder and director of New York-based Etiquette International and author of ''At Ease Professionally: An Etiquette Guide for the Business Arena.''

Two common festivities are the Yankee swap and secret Santa. In a Yankee swap, everyone anonymously contributes a wrapped gift and then draws a number to see who chooses the first present. In one variation, the present is unwrapped by the recipient, who can then keep it or try to swap it for someone else's gift.

In other workplaces, employees play secret Santa for a period of days leading up to Christmas. Names are pulled from a hat. The secret Santa must surreptitiously bestow simple gifts on the recipient whose name they've chosen. On the last day of the game, the secret Santa is required to reveal himself or herself and give a parting gift.

Giving at the office Be it Yankee swap or secret Santa, the tradition of office gift giving remains strong. A recent survey found that 33 percent of employees said their workplace would be doing some kind of exchange this holiday season. Two-thirds of those who purchased work-related holiday gifts last year spent $50 or less, while 18 percent spent more than $100.   A higher percentage of women (61 percent) than men (51 percent) indicated buying work-related gifts last year.   Of those who gave work-related gifts last year, 73 percent indicated they'd spend about the same amount this year. About 21 percent noted they would be spending less this year. Only about 6 percent said they would be spending more.   When deciding who to buy a gift for, both men and women were likely to choose a coworker by a 2-to-1 margin over their boss.   SOURCE: Office Depot

But even with a secret Santa or Yankee swap, ''you have to have guidelines set,'' cautioned Klinkenberg. Employers should start by setting spending limits and by making it clear to workers what constitutes an appropriate gift.

''You should make sure with human resources what type of gifts are allowed, what price limitations have been set,'' said Jeff Zbar, a Coral Springs, Fla.-based consultant for Office Depot.

For employees, the keys to avoiding potential land mines include careful deportment, cautious gift buying, and awareness of company culture. What's out? Gifts of alcohol, other than wine. So is anything with sexual overtones. Funny gifts are risky, and pranks can be misperceived.

''You specify that you don't have jokes,'' said Klinkenberg. ''You want to ease tension in a business environment as much as possible. When someone walks away feeling hurt or disappointed or insulted, then you create hostility in the office rather than a feeling of team spirit and camaraderie.''

That advice might have helped Heidi Harris, who works at an investment management firm. Harris went home one year with the booby prize in a Yankee swap. Although the price limit was $10, most participants spent a little more, she said.

''But I had the misfortune of picking the gift from the person who spent quite a bit less than $10,'' she said. ''My gift? It was a magnet - a little rubber man that had ''bendy'' legs. It couldn't have cost more than a buck. I was so embarrassed when I opened it that I didn't even know how to respond.''

Klinkenberg said in a situation like that, it's preferable to remain cool.

''If you are the brunt of a joke, you have to laugh it off and deal with it in the spirit of a joke,'' she said, ''rather than get upset or angry by it. When people get one of these gifts, they take it as a personal insult, but it could have been anyone who received the package.''

Etiquette consultant Rebecca Black suggested that workers stay away from buying any gift for the office swap that has a sexual connotation. While a gift certificate to Victoria's Secret, for example, may be welcomed by one person, it might be an embarrassment to another.

''Gift certificates to a bookstore are really, really safe,'' said Black, ''because there's no gender issue and sexual issue there.''

Other safe gifts, Black suggested, would be DVD movies with a ''middle of the road'' theme, or a gift certificate to a restaurant. She is opposed to gifts of hard liquor, but said a bottle of wine would be OK. Simple game boards such as a travel chess set, tick-tack-toe, or checkers, make nice gifts and can be used during brainstorming sessions, said Zbar.

''It gets people in a more creative, friendly mood,'' he said. ''If you're working on marketing material, that may be a great way to break the ice, set the mood, bring together people who may not always work together.''

While group gift exchanges are part of the holidays in many workplaces, some companies frown upon subordinates giving gifts to their supervisors, noted Klinkenberg.

''You don't want to stir dissension because it looks like you're trying to bribe the boss,'' she said. ''I think the best thing is to all pitch in and give a group gift. Keep it small enough so it doesn't strain anybody's budget.''

And managers who wish to recognize their employees at holiday time can do so by taking them all out for lunch, she suggested.

At Lawrence General Hospital, vice president of human resources Cindy Phalen typically invites her staff of eight to her Hampstead, N.H., home for a dinner she prepares each year. Phalen also places a tree ornament on each plate as a keepsake for her guests.

''That's a lovely gesture,'' said Klinkenberg. ''I think it's so important to remember what the holiday season is all about.''

Joyce Pellino Crane can be reached at crane@globe.com.

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