As a salesman, my business expenses are submitted approximately once a month for reimbursement. I have recently changed jobs and one of the men who is responsible for showing me the ropes in this new company appears to cheat on his expense reports. He tells me that lots of employees do it and if my expense reports are too low, the boss will think I am not paying enough attention to our clients. I have no intention of cheating, so that is not an issue. My concern is if I am criticized or my performance is misinterpreted because of the big difference in the amount of my expenses as compared to others? Would it be a good idea to inform someone?

During my career as a human resources director, I saw employees discharged for exaggerating on expense reports. The problem was usually disclosed when an unrelated matter exposed the dishonest behavior. The dishonest employee seemed outraged because, having gotten away with it for a long period of time, he started to fool himself into believing it was an accepted practice. Some people offered to pay back the amounts they took, believing that such a repayment would somehow rectify their wrongdoing and resolve the matter.

At this time, only a couple of weeks into your new job, there is no need to tell anyone about something of which you know so little.

As you learn more about the company and its culture, you will find that there are ways to manage within it that are not apparent now. For example, you may find that what the co-worker told you is not the case and that he was just looking for a companion in his crime. It might even be someone's strange idea of a good way to test a new employee's honesty. You have been there too short a time to accurately assess the ethics of the company and the way in which it evaluates performance. For now, rely on guidance from your manager and ask him or her any time procedures or corporate culture seem unclear.

If you do learn that what this co-worker told you is true and that the general way of operating in this company is one of looking the other way on matters of ethics, you can decide how best to proceed. Beginning to search for a new position is clearly an option. The real benefit to this uncomfortable experience will be in strengthening your personal value system while further defining the type of company you want to work for in the future. This time around, be certain to do the necessary due diligence on the company you are considering joining. Do not be shy about exploring issues of culture and corporate values when interviewing and also when informally checking out your potential employer.

I am a site manager in the construction business and I have not been enjoying working for this company. My boss is a really good person to work for, but my peers are not the type of people I want to associate with. About a year ago, one of these men got a large bonus and I was stunned to learn how much more it was than the one I received because my performance has been considered outstanding. I began looking for a new job and received an offer from a smaller company at a comparable salary and benefits and decided to accept it. When I submitted my resignation, my current company offered me more money and some other things I had been wanting. I decided to accept the counteroffer and now I feel stuck again. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with this situation?

Many people believe you should never accept a counteroffer and go back on your decision, while others are more open to the possible success of a second time around with the same employer. I am of the latter school because I have seen several people who accepted counteroffers that turned into effective new experiences for both the employer and the employee. Basically, I believe that the choice depends on the weight of each of the specifics in the individual situation.

The key is to look at the real reasons for considering leaving in the first place. When you get a handle on your personal reasons you can determine whether the counteroffer addresses them. Sometimes a company needs a wake-up call to realize the value an employee adds to its operation and also the degree to which that person fits into plans for the future. Counteroffers are almost always a tough choice for the company to make as well.

I believe that almost everyone who accepts a counteroffer suffers from a form of ''buyer's remorse.'' Should you have ''bought'' the other offer or accepted the one you chose? The endless back and forth of imagining the unknowns in both options can be excruciating.

In addition to your perspective on the ''facts'' of the situation, your emotional relationship to your current employer is vital to how you proceed with the choice. The other important factor is how risk averse you are when it comes to making important decisions. Fear of failure will always make a tough choice even more difficult. The desire to please the people we know best can also complicate our view of the options available to us.

Now that you have made the choice, it is time to turn it into a successful one. Start each day as if you were going into a new situation.

Think of yourself as a newly hired objective observer of your environment. Try to behave differently, particularly around issues that have concerned you in the past.

Take a new look at your own management style and how effective that has been. Ask yourself or your boss, 'what do I need to learn to enhance my skills to put me in a stronger position for a better bonus, the next promotion, or the next outside job opportunity?' Take one area of concern and begin to address it. Record your progress and treat the process as if it were happening in a new job. Continue fulfilling the job responsibilities that you've always done but now try doing them from a shift in perspective.

Only when you push yourself to see your ''new'' terms of employment as an opportunity to ''do it differently'' will you begin to lose the predictable disappointment that you now feel in your current job.

I have been interviewing for jobs with a number of companies over the last few months. During these interviews, I am frequently asked ''tell me about yourself.'' I never seem to know where to begin or what they are really looking for. Is there any magic to how to answer this question?

This question is primarily used as a general introductory opener to begin the interviewing process but it also sets the stage for future questions. It is tough because it is so open-ended and it leaves the burden of how to proceed on you. It is therefore necessary to prepare to answer this question by highlighting the things about yourself that you want the interviewer to know. Include both work-related points and a couple of personal ones. Outline in advance the items that should be included and practice integrating them into a comfortable, conversational tone as part of your answer. Consider including those work-related responsibilities you are best at, any areas of expertise you have, a few accomplishments, and generally what you like doing. Pause to see if the interviewer wants more information on any point and remember not to go on too long.

Although you are attempting to steer the interview toward your positive attributes, be cautious about appearing boastful and try to show some humility and humor if it comes naturally to you.

Linda Lerner is a Boston-based executive coach and a human resources consultant.

Got a question for the Job Doc? Tell us what hurts and we'll try and find the remedy for your career woes, every Sunday in the BostonWorks section of the Sunday Globe. E-mail your questions to or mail to Job Doc, The Boston Globe, PO Box 2378, Boston, MA 02107-2378. Letters may be edited for clarity and length.