I didn't know when I was hired at a high school that I was one of six 'new' teachers in a department of 10. It became apparent during the year just why everyone else had left. I won't get into it here, but because of bad management and so forth, I am now looking for another job. I have many great references and have great qualifications, but I fear that my last school where I was employed is bad-mouthing me, though I have not listed them as a reference. So what am I to do?

Being disillusioned during the first year on the job must have been disappointing. Many people are so excited to get an offer that they are distracted from doing their homework about why the position is open, the style of the manager, and their colleagues - all things that will affect happiness and success on the job. I'm confident your next job search will include that research.

A "back room" job-search operation that is vital to a job seeker's success is reference management. As you discovered, references include more than the people whose names and numbers you have provided. You believe your former employer is not singing your praises, addressing your strengths, and telling potential employers how lucky they would be to have you on staff. In fact, you believe the opposite is true.

This situation leaves you a few options. Even though your first preference may be to not list anyone from your former school as a reference, what you have found is that any noticeable omission of a reference will most likely be noticed by good reference checkers.

Can you identify one person still at the school who can speak to the strengths you have, the talent and commitment you brought to the job, and the challenging environment you endured - in a completely professional manner? If yes, that person should serve as your reference. If not, can you ask a colleague who was there at the same time you were, and who found another position?

But, maybe this isn't the case. Having other references (who aren't from your most recent job) who can proactively talk about how great you are goes a long way. Networking becomes vital in this situation, as you need to be introduced with a "halo" to help your job search move smoothly.

And though you might not like this option, you may need to return to your old employer and negotiate a reference. This is the case after many separations, and though it may be challenging, you can be well served by a successful conversation.

This is not the time for accusations, anger, or threats of legal action. Approach them in a phone call or e-mail, saying: "I am actively involved in a job search and I realize a potential employer will be interested in my employment history and why I left the school. I'd like to discuss the type of reference you might be able to give, and make sure I know who will be addressing any potential inquiries."

Realize that you can ask for a reference, but they may say no, have a policy that doesn't allow it, or after speaking with them, you may choose not to use them.

Whenever possible for your references, prepare questions and answers in advance and try to help the person develop a script of what you hope they will say. Ask them to talk about your strengths. You may suggest: "Former employers and colleagues have said I am dedicated, energetic, and optimistic. I am a well-prepared teacher and am willing to put in the hours it takes. Would you feel comfortable speaking to these strengths, or are there other areas you want to address?"

Weaknesses need to be addressed as well, so help your contacts prepare these. After reviewing what has been said, you may choose to close with, "I know how important a good reference is, and if you are at all uncomfortable providing that, please let me know."

Most employers know that hurting someone's chances of finding a new position is not in their best interest.

I work for a national firm, and we are currently in our annual open enrollment period for changes in benefits. In addition to the usual increases in premiums and decreases in coverage, this year the company is imposing a surcharge if your spouse has coverage under the company medical plan, but can otherwise obtain coverage from his/her own employer. Can they legally do this? Is this common? It seems to me grossly unfair, inequitable, and antifamily. My wife is a preschool teacher and has access to a lousy, expensive policy they make available for the few employees who can't get coverage elsewhere.

A two-income family, where each spouse is employed by a different organization, creates a medical benefits conundrum for each employer - and you landed right in the middle. What it boils down to is adverse selection and cost-shifting between employers. There is even a term for this: dependent dumping, says Mark Manin, president of LaRhetteManin Benefits Service Group, an independent securities broker-dealer providing benefits consultation.

It is important to understand companies are trying to avoid having dependents of their employees "dumped" onto their medical plans. Usually it happens because the employee's dependent doesn't work, or has a job but no medical coverage, or poor coverage (which is your situation).

I can't address the legalities, but it is not uncommon for a company to offer a medical plan bonus or penalty to encourage or discourage certain behaviors. Some companies say that if you can provide proof of medical coverage elsewhere - and if you elect to opt out of your organization's medical plan - they will give you additional money. This is clearly a "carrot" to get you to take another company's medical plan. An example of a "stick" is the situation you find yourself in.

Your spouse has been encouraged not to join her employer's plan - which is both lousy and expensive. You ask: "Is this unfair?" Where you stand on that question depends on where you sit.

Medical plan costs are full of inequities, Manin says. For example, many companies pay more for family coverage than they do for individual coverage. Is this fair? Some companies pay only for individual coverage and require employees to pay the entire difference between the cost of individual and family coverage. Is this fair? In fact, there are many reasons why two similar employees who work for two different companies that are indistinguishable could end up paying completely different amounts for health insurance.

The reality is we have an employer-based private medical insurance system. One size does not fit all, and each firm will behave in a manner perceived as appropriate and necessary to protect itself.

I start my shift at 8 a.m. and end at 8 p.m. If I go home sick around 1 p.m., should my job charge me 12 hours of sick time? I've already worked five hours.

Sounds like easy math, right? Employment law, and wage and salary practice and policy, are often not that clear. No law requires an employer to provide paid vacation or sick leave, though many employers do. In most cases, there is a "pay for hours worked" provision that is determined by law, and as with many employment laws, these vary by state.

Are you part of a union? Your union contract may govern how much sick time you have, how sick time is taken, what increments are allowed, and what happens if you exceed the amount allowed. Perhaps anything less than a half-day worked is treated as a full day's absence.

Are you a new hire? Many organizations have a waiting period of 60 to 90 days before you can use any "paid time," including sick or personal time.

With whom did you discuss leaving, and how did you notify them? There are organizations which insist upon adherence to a standard policy to alert management and to get approval for sick time.

I suggest you speak with your manager and human resources department to clarify your organization's policies.

Elaine Varelas has over 20 years of career development and consulting experience and is currently managing partner at Keystone Partners, a career management firm headquartered in Boston.

Got a question for the Job Doc? Tell us what hurts and we'll try and find the remedy for your career woes, every Sunday in the BostonWorks section of the Sunday Globe. E-mail your questions to or mail to Job Doc, The Boston Globe, PO Box 2378, Boston, MA 02107-2378. Letters may be edited for clarity and length.