Keep the faith, but keep it on your side of the divider

In all the talk these days about the separation between church and state, you don't hear much about the separation between church and work. I never knew how people's beliefs spill over into the workplace. I think you're particularly affected if you are not religious.

Religion has a way of creeping in to your day-to-day, like when someone comments on your ``Catholic school manners" even though you're not Catholic, or asks how you're spending your Easter. Most times these are innocuous, polite conversation-makers or old phrases that have worked their way into the language.

But there have been instances where I've found myself taking a stand even though I'm an unlikely candidate to be talking about any kind of religion. I have the double whammy of being Jewish but mainly a nonpracticing one.

Although I'm as clueless as the next guy, sometimes I'm tapped as the de facto expert on my religion. This includes representing the faith in people's minds and fielding anti-Semitic comments from time to time.

Sometimes colleagues are surprised to find out I'm Jewish. They must not know many Jews and are surprised that I don't somehow stand out. After the surprise wears off and I receive some version of ``one of best friends . . . neighbors . . . past co-workers is Jewish" speech, things seem to go back to normal. And they're usually very vigilant about wishing me a happy Yom Kippur, Hanukah, and so on.

I have to admit that I don't always take the Jewish holidays off since I am not religious and would just sit at home. But I always feel guilty because as my mom tells me, people may look at me coming to work and hold it against another Jew who does not come in. This even came up on ``The Apprentice" when a couple of candidates took off for Rosh Hashanah. While some of their team members griped about it, Trump basically told them to deal with it.

When an Orthodox Jewish woman in my office lost her mother all eyes turned to me. We all felt horrible and everyone wanted to show their support. Since she was back in New Jersey with her family, I fielded call after call from our clients asking what they could do. All I could think of was sending Kosher food. After the eighth platter of chopped liver, gefilte fish, and deli meats arrived, she finally phoned to ask me to call off the food. She was laughing, so at least the onslaught of food brought some comic relief.

Sometimes, religion is unwillingly dragged into the picture, when someone makes an insensitive or bigoted remark. You don't have to be of any particular religious stripe to be offended by such behavior, but it does become more awkward at work since you know you'll have to continue dealing with the offender instead of walking away from some blowhard spouting off at a party.

For example, once I was in the unpleasant position of being on the receiving end of a slur, when a vendor for audio-visual supplies and I were discussing a bill. I questioned a line item and he made an anti-Semitic remark about reducing the charge. We both fell silent as we realized what he had said. He hurried off the phone and didn't call me for weeks.

Eventually I had to get the bill squared away. I called him, and the man set a land-speed record for how fast he spoke about everything -- except what had happened. Finally I told him that we had to discuss it. He told me how sick he felt going home that night, how he had told his wife what happened, and how I was his first Jewish friend. He said that he had learned ``new" words like ``bargained" and how sorry he was.

I told him that I knew he was a good guy and that I forgave him, but even if I wanted to forget it, I would always think about what he said when I saw him. Maybe it was harsh, but I liked him and I thought he deserved the truth.

At other times you might unknowingly be the center of someone's religious crusade. There's the guy who belongs to a charismatic church. He's the nicest person in the world, but has the unfortunate habit of using the workplace as a recruiting center. When he approached me to discuss religion, I mentioned I was Jewish. Big mistake. His face lit up and I came to find out that converting Jews was his personal mission.

I couldn't get up without finding a religious tract on my desk when I came back. After many attempts at conversion, I finally convinced him that I was happy with my religion and nothing he said would change it. He reluctantly moved on and now tries his hand with our clients. I think since he is such a pleasant guy, people don't want to get him in trouble by complaining to his boss.

I guess when you're spending eight hours a day with people, you're going to get a glimpse into their nonwork activities. They'll love it when they pull out their wallets and you ooh and aah over their baby pictures. They'll be happy when you rave about those terrific Orioles/Red Sox/Yankees. But take a tip from me: When it comes to the gal at the next desk and her religious beliefs, don't go there.