There's time for a laugh, even in 'new' selling

"Art is making something out of nothing and selling it." -- Frank Zappa (above, in a 1982 photo with children Dweezil, left, and Moon)

If Zappa is right, then what does that make the art of selling? With selling, you start with something and then you create nonthings -- interest, education, motivation, and perhaps most difficult of all, you have to create time. Yes, that's art.

What got me thinking about selling was speaking with Tom Hopkins, the dean of the sales training industry. Because he works with salespeople from across the country and has for more than two decades, I wondered if what he was hearing from salespeople had changed, if they had new/different complaints. He grudgingly answered my question: In real estate, the rising prices in many markets have meant that more buyers can't qualify; among those selling business-to-business, buyers are less loyal to their suppliers. But Hopkins wasn't interested in the obstacles, except as something to knock down.

He eased me off the subject by saying: "Let me tell you about my first motivational moment. I started college and after 90 days realized it wasn't for me. I went to my father -- a man who believed that the key to success was getting an education -- and told him I was dropping out of school. Dad's eyes filled with tears. He said, 'Son, I'll always love you . . . even though you'll never amount to much.' " Hopkins added, "That was motivation. I had something to prove." And that's classic Hopkins -- a story that makes you think and smile, and like the person telling it. That's an art.

As a salesman, Hopkins would tell stories about himself, and when those ran out, he'd tell jokes. Then he'd go further and tell customers: "I collect humor. Do you have any stories or jokes?" So he'd turn a sales session into a joke swap. All of which might seem a bit old-fashioned, given that this is The Time of No Time and that the New Salesperson is said to be teaching, not selling.

Hopkins agrees that modern salespeople need to be seen as "expert advisers," but in their time with customers, they also must be "motivational" and "enjoyable." He says, "You have to have the people across the table feel they are learning, you have to give them a motive for action, and you have to make it fun -- people want to work with someone who is light, not dry."

There are those who believe that salespeople are strictly information providers, especially with corporate/institutional selling. But buyers can get information from the Internet; they still need someone with those nonthings -- someone to trust, someone to call, someone to blame, someone to thank . . . and for Hopkins, someone to share a joke with. He's even compiled, along with his friend Ben Brooks, a book of jokes called "Laugh Your Way to Health & Wealth." Here are some samples:

"A fellow was pulled over by the police and one of the officers says, 'Sir, do you realize that your wife fell out of the car about a mile down the road behind you?' The guy says, 'Thank God, I thought I'd gone deaf!' "

" 'I have to have a raise,' the man said to his boss. 'There are three other companies after me.' 'Is that so?' asked the manager. 'What other three companies?' The man replied, 'The electric company, the phone company, and the gas company.' "

Do we still have time, in modern business life, for stories and jokes?

When Hopkins tells you that he still holds the record for most real-estate sales in a year, you smile with him, because he's also told you that he failed the real-estate exam three times before he passed, and that in his first six months he had one sale, in part because he didn't have a car, just a motorcycle, and his only suit was his old high-school band uniform.

Was the band uniform modified? Did his dad really say, teary-eyed, "I'll always love you, even though you'll never amount to much?" Who cares? He's entered the realm of art, not history, and that's where selling takes place.

Dale Dauten is a syndicated columnist. He can be reached at dale@dauten.com.