Fear of being caught by a wide open Net

Ten years ago, before blogs and live journals, I'd print up my personal writings and mail them out like newsletters to a small group of friends. Now, a techno-era later, the audience for my writings on the Internet is potentially limitless. Yet instead of luxuriating in the freeing power of technology, I've actually found myself being more cautious , feeling less free to say what I want, being more guarded about my privacy.

I worry that my past writings , especially about my workplace, are too easy to find, too easy to be misconstrued and give the wrong impression, of my company -- and of myself.

In 1997, as I was finishing college, I was writing these weekly vignettes. I'd outline the stuff that had happened over the prior seven days, trying to use thematic elements and other devices to string everything into a cohesive storyline. I'd burn my files onto a disk, print copies at the college computer cluster, and send copies -- letters -- to the 20 or so geographically distant friends on my mailing list. I detailed my love life, bands I had seen, my job -- all the stuff you'd expect in a letter from a chatty, slightly angst-ridden college student. I felt free to comment on whatever was going on in my life because I knew everyone I was mailing to, and they knew me, and (presumably) how I wanted to come across.

My methods began to change as I continued writing. For one, I started to get some fans(!). A few people on the list were showing my letters to their friends. Said friends started asking to be included in my mailings. I was psyched. People I didn't know were reading my stuff!

At some point I decided to compile all the letters and self-publish them. The resulting volumes were largely well received by the friends and acquaintances I was writing about -- many of whom had no idea I was doing so.

But there were a few people who got upset. They felt that I had misrepresented their words and actions , so I began to tone things down . I had always intended my letters to be a running chronicle of my life, including the things I'd do with friends. I didn't want to anger or incriminate anyone in doing so, though. I still thought there was truth in what I was writing, even if occasionally that truth was incomplete.

A few years in, one of my Net-savvy buddies started posting my letters on a Web page he built. I was happy to have someone doing an archive for me. The Internet, after all, was The New Thing, not anywhere near as pervasive as it is now.

With the more recent popularity of blogs and live journals, I've actively followed news stories and incidents involving them, since they remind me of thevignettes I used to write. Recently, I've seen stories about young employees getting fired from their jobs based on things they've posted on their blogs about work -- complaining about their bosses and co-workers.

As a writer, I understand the urge to write about work-related happenings. In fact, I have done so myself. My co-workers have sometimes been given pseudonyms when I have discussed the workplace in my writing -- it seemed like the safe thing to do. And when my writings made the transition to the Internet, I came up with assumed names for all the places where I've worked. I didn't want people searching for information on the company to find my writing about it. Somebody writing about the company from the inside might not give the right impression to prospective clients, I realized. I had already unintentionally hurt people's feelings earlier, and the chance of my words being misconstrued was entirely possible, perhaps even likely, so I was careful not to get myself or company in trouble.

Similarly, customizable profiles on sites such as Facebook and Myspace give members the opportunity to express their individuality, to chat up their likes and dislikes. Like most younger people, I have a few such profiles. And, after a group of high school cheerleaders in California were punished at school for posting photos of them in suggestive Halloween costumes on a MySpace account, I began to wonder if there was anything in my own profile my employer would find objectionable.

Not especially, no. My profile on Myspace is pretty mundane, all told -- I listed a bunch of bands, movies, and authors I like, and posted some pictures of me and my friends.

But I set the profile to "private," just in case -- the people online who I'm friends with are free to look at my profile as they like. Everyone else needs my permission. Just to be safe.

The whole thing seems counterintuitive. I'm using Internet technology to limit the audience to my writings because a bigger audience made possible by the Internet increases the risk of someone misconstruing my writing. Or else I just tone things down, a tradeoff that as a writer I find frustrating; my goal is to articulate what I'm feeling in a truthful, straightforward manner, not to pull punches. It's a hell of a paradox, one I never anticipated those years ago when I started writing as a way to keep in touch with friends.

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