Q. I got into trouble at the office for a telephone conversation overheard by my boss. The customer I was talking with kept on making sarcastic remarks, in general, about things going wrong. I replied with equally sarcastic remarks. My boss told me that sarcasm was inappropriate in the office, and, if it continued, I would be fired. Is this accurate? I felt the customer appreciated my fluency in Seinfeldian sarcasm.
B.C., Dighton
A. If you've been told that a behavior on your part is inappropriate and if you continue doing it that you will be fired, you should heed the warning. In fact, once your boss has drawn the line in the sand, he should be prepared to follow through on his threat if you persist. Bosses should only make threats they are willing to follow through on. In your specific case, just because a client speaks sarcastically doesn't mean you should, too. Two wrongs don't make a right. While your client may find your sarcasm acceptable, a co-worker, client, or prospect who overhears it may not understand it as sarcasm. Because your tone doesn't match your message, the resulting misunderstanding could be harmful to business. Save your fluency in sarcasm for your friends.
Q. There is a policy at work that states that we do not accept gifts. I have the type of job whereby people sometimes express their thanks by giving me a gift. I have received everything from a beautifully written card to a diamond necklace (intended for my daughter). I agree with the policy, but I have a hard time explaining why I am returning the gift. How do I write a note without sounding ungrateful? Do I write a "Thanks but no thanks" card, or do I send cards to everyone?
R.K., St. Louis
A. I am hoping that whether it is a diamond necklace or a $10 gift card, you have followed your company/school/organization's policy and returned the gift. Not following the policy would be grounds for disciplinary action. The returned gift should be accompanied by a note: "Dear Gift Giver, Thank you so much for the [gift]. It means so much to me that you appreciate the work I have done and want to express your thanks this way. Unfortunately, my company/school/organization has a strict policy which does not permit me to accept gifts, so I must return it to you. Thank you for your understanding. Sincerely, You." Only one note is necessary. Include it with the gift you are returning. Be sure to let your manager know what you have done.
