Face-to-face needed with co-worker over bid to gain boss's favor
Q. I have a problem with a colleague with whom I work with quite often. We are engineers in the same department and we are frequently paired to do projects or assignments. Although he is very good technically, he will go off on his own and behave as if we are not working together. This happens even after we have agreed on a plan or how to proceed and commit to a completion date. He tries to push his own ideas with our mutual boss without my input. I tend to be a team player and I am not sure how to deal with this type of guy. Do you have any suggestions for me?
A. More often than we realize, we encounter behavior at work that is very reminiscent of children at a playground and it's quite challenging to deal with. Your colleague appears to be engaging in the child-like behavior of still trying to gain a form of parental favoritism, in this case your boss's favor.
Unfortunately, in the workplace we cannot always serve as the substitute parent and still get the job done.
In the alternative, he can simply be seen as trying to advance himself at your expense. In either event, it is unsettling and potentially detrimental to your emotional and financial well-being.
It seems to me that a direct, face-to-face, two-way discussion needs to occur with this co-worker.
Even though it might be difficult for you to do it, schedule the time with him and begin by talking very seriously about the matter. A casual, "by the way" will not work here. Let him know about the pattern of behavior that you have noticed from him and that you both have to talk it through to prevent it from reoccurring and getting in the way of your working together in the future.
I would consider asking him a series of questions such as:
I know that you feel strongly about your ideas but changing our work without talking to me first is not what we agreed. How can we prevent this from happening again?
Please help me to understand how you think it helps our team or our project for you to go to the boss without consulting me?
The time that you sent that e-mail out under both of our names without talking to me first was unacceptable and embarrassing to me when our boss asked me about it. How would you feel if this was done to you?
When we make decisions together to do a project a certain way and you go off on your own in a different direction, we are then not able to complete it and deliver what is expected. Can we agree that if either one of us wants to change any part of a project we clear it with the other one first?
We have missed more then one deadline due to your lack of teamwork and these delays reflect poorly on both of us.
I would rather not be pushed to have to discuss this situation with our boss and I'm asking what you will do so I can avoid this?
Here, it is important to listen for his answers and repeat them back to him in an effort to avoid a misunderstanding later.
When you ask these or different questions that are more relevant to your particular situation, be certain to hear your co-worker out completely. He has to be encouraged to explain his thinking for him to be able to really "hear" you. When he believes that his thoughts are understood and he feels validated, he will hopefully be able to listen in a different way.
If another incident arises, you will want to take a very different tone with him and be clear that he is aware of potential consequences of continuing to sidestep you and cause delays in your mutual deadlines. Your boss may have to get involved at some point. Do not be surprised if your boss is already fully aware of what is going on. The type of personality that you have described is often quite evident to other observers.
The most important part is coming to an understanding with your co-worker about the expectations each of you has of the other and checking in often to assure that you are both on track and on the same track.
He is clearly not accustomed to sharing the sandbox.
A. Anyone who is unemployed, totally or partially, has the right to file a claim for unemployment insurance benefits. Your question suggests that you will probably be able to collect these benefits.
Years ago, many of us saw or heard about the long lines at the unemployment office and feared the embarrassment of being seen or of the stigma of receiving unemployment checks.
Today, there are two ways to file a claim; by telephone through the TeleClaimCenter, which is the most common way that people in Massachusetts file, or in person at any Division of Unemployment Assistance Walk-In Center. The addresses and phone numbers of these Walk-In Centers can be found online or in the phone book.
Your employer is required to give you a brochure when your employment is terminated that describes your rights relating to unemployment benefits in Massachusetts.
While anyone unemployed has the right to file a claim, to qualify for unemployment compensation benefits in Massachusetts you must meet three conditions.
Attorney Bruce Burgess is client relationship manager at
First, you must have earned enough qualifying wages during your "base period." The state of Massachusetts uses a primary base period that is the most recent four completed calendar quarters prior to the effective date of your claim for benefits.
Other states may regulate their unemployment benefits with different rules, but in your case, because you have been working in Massachusetts, those rules and regulations will apply.
Second, you must have lost your employment through no fault of your own. If you are laid off, you are considered to have lost your employment through no fault of your own. The unemployment office is accustomed to seeing company acquisitions that result in this type of layoff.
In the situation that you have described, these first two conditions appear to have been met.
Third, you must be able, available for, and actively seeking work.
If you are determined to be eligible for unemployment insurance benefits you will be required to serve, during the first week of your claim, a one-week noncompensable "waiting period."
For any week beyond the "waiting period" you will receive monetary benefits. You might want to plan your finances to mange through this unpaid week prior to unemployment benefits beginning.
The amount of unemployment benefits you receive is directly related to your wages earned in your "base period" as defined above.
Burgess said your weekly unemployment benefit will be an amount equal to 50 percent of your average weekly wage during your "base period" up to the maximum benefit amount allowed under the state's statute.
The current maximum weekly benefit amount in Massachusetts is $600. That maximum changes by statute annually on the first Sunday of October.
In Massachusetts the maximum number of weeks of eligibility allowed is 30 weeks. Finding full time employment during that period will, of course, cause the benefits to cease.
In Massachusetts you may receive an additional $25 for each qualifying dependent child.
A spouse is not recognized as a dependent. Dependent children are children under 18 years of age or children less than 24 years of age, but enrolled in and attending school, or children physically or mentally handicapped for whom you are providing support.
Burgess added that if at the time of your layoff you receive any form of separation or severance pay that payment must be reported to the Division of Unemployment Assistance and may impact your eligibility depending upon the conditions under which it is was paid.
Massachusetts also provides health insurance to an unemployed individual and his/her dependents during that person's period of unemployment. However, certain income and eligibility conditions must be met to receive this additional benefit.
The Division of Unemployment Assistance has offices in the Charles F. Hurley Building, 19 Staniford St., Boston, MA 02114.
The division offers a lot of valuable information on its website. You may want to go to: detma.org and click on Division of Unemployment Assistance and then look for the tab, For Claimants. It would be very helpful to visit this site in advance of your official termination date.
Linda J.Lerner is an executive coach and a human resources consultant to small businesses and individuals. She can be reached at linda@lernerconsulting.com.
E-mail questions to jobdoc@globe.com or mail to Job Doc, Boston Globe, Box 55819, Boston, 02205-5819.
