Is saying thanks in person enough?

Q. I'm a concierge at a lovely condo building. At Christmastime, other than my holiday bonus, I receive many lovely gifts from residents. I always make sure I give a hearty "thank you" when I receive these tokens of appreciation. Should I also write a thank you note? What is the proper response?

M.K., Brighton

A. Except for wedding and shower gifts, when you open a gift and thank someone in person it's not necessary to send a thank you note. That said, the nicest way to thank your residents for giving you a gift in addition to the bonus is to send a handwritten note through the mail. It's always appropriate. It can be short - just three or four sentences. The effort is what counts. Just think how much you appreciate receiving a handwritten note or letter instead of bills and advertisements. Your residents will remember your note far longer than they will your verbal thanks, no matter how enthusiastic.

Q. How is a new employee supposed to pose questions in a meeting where all others present already know about the pretext? Especially if the task assigned to the new employee is related to the matter being discussed. Everybody assumes that the pretext is already known to the new employee as well. (The employee feels asking questions in that formal meeting will prove to everybody else that this new employee does not know the job well.)

A.P., New Bombay, India

A. It's awkward to be in a meeting when you are unprepared or unfamiliar with the topics being discussed. As you note, it certainly doesn't give the impression of competence. The key to success is to find out when the next meeting will be called and to make every effort to learn as much as possible before it occurs. No one expects a new employee to be up to speed on all projects from day one.

As the new employee, it's your responsibility to seek out your team leader or other team members and get filled in as quickly as possible. When a meeting is called that has to do with your project, find out the agenda ahead of time, do some homework, and consult with colleagues to learn how the topics relate to your project. Preparing a list of your questions that a co-worker or team leader can answer ahead of time is good preparation. During the first meeting it's fine for you to mainly listen and learn, but it would be better if you have one or two questions or comments to offer, demonstrating familiarity with the project. However, by the second meeting you should be ready to participate fully in the discussion.

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