Act quickly if the boss is drunk at a meeting

Q. What is the most appropriate way to step in for your boss at a business meeting when he has had too much to drink?

L.M., Columbia, Md.

A. In the short term, this problem needs to be addressed quickly with tact and finesse, but realize that this is an indication of a much bigger problem that may need to be taken to his boss or HR. The most appropriate thing to do is to steer the boss away from the meeting before it begins. If the meeting has already started and it's obvious to you that your boss is drunk, then it's probably also obvious to the others at the meeting. Try suggesting that the group take a break for a few minutes. During the break, meet with your boss privately, tell him why you interrupted the meeting, and strongly recommend that he absent himself. If it's an internal meeting, see if people can reschedule for another time. If it's a client meeting, let your boss know that you'll finish the meeting or, if possible, find someone at his level who can substitute. When the client meeting reconvenes, you'll need to recognize his absence with a simple "Mr. Smith won't be able to continue with the meeting at this time." Offer to take notes or reschedule at their convenience.

Since you know he's under the influence, you'll need to take one more responsible step and arrange for a ride home. Whether this was an isolated incident or a recurring problem, no company can afford to have employees at work under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Q. Should individuals standing around the workplace water cooler who share a common foreign heritage speak in their native language in the presence of nearby English-speaking individuals?

R. J-T., Pittsburgh

A. First, let's differentiate between a business conversation and a general conversation. Business talk should be conducted in a language which everyone can understand. Water cooler talk is a different matter. From the perspective of the people speaking another language, it may be as innocent as a few minutes' respite from having to speak a language with which they're not totally familiar or comfortable. Unfortunately, what may be a totally innocent conversation ("How was your weekend?") can seem exclusionary to others who don't speak that language. It's similar to watching two compatriots whispering nearby. True or not, the impression is that they're gossiping, and it can create an atmosphere of mistrust.

If people wish to speak in another language or talk about something privately, it's best to move that conversation to a private location. At the water cooler, it's considerate to speak in a language everyone can understand.

Peter Post is the great-grandson of manners guru Emily Post and is the director of the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt.

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