Smart use of smart phones
Q. Is it okay to use a BlackBerry for social purposes in a class? Is it okay to leave your Bluetooth in when meeting with clients or at a company lunch?
J. P., Carmichael, CA
A. The etiquette for all electronic communication devices is based on one simple maxim: if its use is going to bother others, don’t use it; instead, turn it off. Inevitably, people want to push the envelope. The BlackBerry provides a twist that some people believe exempts them from the rule. They understand that not using it as a phone when in a class or a house of worship or a meeting or even in a restaurant, makes sense. But what about texting, checking email, or surfing the Internet? After all, they don’t involve your voice, and therefore these actions aren’t bothering other people, so what’s the harm? The problem is that even though they are silent, they can still distract others. For instance, in a meeting, when the user’s focus is on the device, it’s not on what’s going on at the meeting. From the presenter’s perspective, he sees people with their heads down and their thumbs flying across the miniature keyboard; it’s distracting at best. The same result occurs in a class: when other students see a person using the device, they are distracted, and the teacher may lose his/her train of thought. In a restaurant, even if it doesn’t bother the other patrons, focusing on a PDA says to the person you are with that whomever you’re interacting with on the PDA is more important—that’s not a good message to send to the person you are with face-to-face.
Similarly, leaving in your Bluetooth device while meeting with a client is a mistake. From the client’s perspective, he/she deserves your full attention. That Bluetooth device says your attention is divided and that you are willing to interrupt your conversation with them to speak to someone who calls you. At a company lunch, you have the opportunity to build relationships with colleagues as well as managers. Keeping the device in your ear says that your focus is elsewhere and that your lunch companions aren’t as important to you.
Comment
Permalink
Email
How does using a blackberry in class or wearing your bluetooth 24/7 seem like acceptable behavior? I completely agree with Peter.
If you leave your bluetooth in while meeting with someone or at lunch, you are making it clear that your priorities are not with whomever you may be meeting with. Just because it's hands-free doesn't mean that it isn't equally as rude as sitting at the table holding your phone to your ear in case someone calls.
And I doubt you're paying attention in class/meetings if you're using your blackberry... why bother going in the first place?
You're kidding, right? Not one of your questions could even reasonably be answered with a yes. Let me put it this way: if you're sitting in MY class texting, or surfing, I'm throwing you out and we're going to have a face-to-face conversation before I let you back in. (And oh yeah, take out your bluetooth before THAT meeting!) And if I'm your client, whether in a meeting or at lunch, and you have your bluetooth in....well, I'm not your client anymore. (That'll go over well with your boss, huh?)
Here's a clue: if you have to ask the question, you know you're in the wrong about leaving your bluetooth in your ear.
If you suspect everyone thinks you are a jerk for being 50% engaged, then they already know you are a jerk, and have known for at least a month. They talk about you behind your back.
There was a time when we all gave the people in our presence our full attention. This is because people in your presence DESERVE your full attention. Stop making excuses.
Bluetooth earpieces are a necessary evil, realize you look like a dork when wearing one while talking. Wearing one while not on the phone...you look like a complete idiot.
there is a time & place for everything. use your brain. turn off your blackberry while in class, at the movies, at dinner, church, in a meeting. and for god's sake, take the blue-tooth out at a client meeting!! that's a simple way to get yourself fired. just b/c you CAN talk on the phone/surf the net/text msg where/when ever you want... doesn't mean ya should.
I agree with NAME:`
People look like complete morons when wearing blue tooth headsets. Usually the only people who still wear them are the Johnny Come Latelys who can finally afford them now that Motorola dropped the price so low even the floor washer at McDonalds can afford one.
They are not cool. They were cool for about five seconds back in 2002 or so when they first started to go mainstream. Use them when you drive. Standing in line at the store, bank, or wherever - you are just another rude person wearing a bluetooth headset. NOT COOL
The only possible exception to this is if you are waiting for a call from the doctor letting you know that the donor heart is now available and that the transplant is on schedule. Short of that, leave the damned things turned off! You are not that important and you come across looking like a self absorbed idiot to boot. If I am your client and you come in wearing your nerd phone I will ask you to come back when you are not so distracted. And yes, my very next phone call will be to your boss. People, whether clients, colleagues, fellow students or friends, deserve to feel that they have your full attention.
I'm glad to see these responses, but I worry that you're preaching to the choir. I do some of my work in clients' homes and I'm glad to say that most of them let land-line calls go to the answering machine, and if their cell phone rings, they apologize and turn it off. If they have children, they might check the number.
However, I turn my phone off at dinner (social or business) and wearing a Bluetooth device in that venue or any time you are not actually on the phone is just show-offey. I also know (and am related to) some folks who have a physical difficulty (seriously) in turning off their phones. Professional help needed, I think.
This blogger might want to review your comment before posting it.
about this blog
e-mail your question
Meet the Jobs Docs
Patricia Hunt Sinacole is president of First Beacon Group LLC, a human resources consulting firm in Hopkinton. Sheworks with clients across many industries including technology, biotech and medical devices, financial services, and healthcare, and has over 20 years of human resources experience.
Elaine Varelas is managing partner at Keystone Partners, a career management firm in Boston and serves on the board of Career Partners International.
Cindy Atoji Keene is a freelance journalist with more than 25 years experience. E-mail her directly here.
Peter Post is the author of "The Etiquette Advantage in Business." Email questions about business etiquette to him directly here.
browse this blog
by category