Which opening line do you prefer (imagine you're speaking to a biz audience and want to get their attention with a quick story):
1) “After a lot of unsuccessful interviews, I finally found work.”
2) "After 10 years in prison, I feared that I’d never find another job in organized crime.”
You may be thinking, "I hate them both—too negative! Also, I'm starting to dislike you."
We’ll come back to that objection in a second.
I like #2 for one simple reason: mystery. We don't know how this story turns out. Opening #1, by contrast, reveals everything.
Years ago, I went to a writing workshop led by the head writer of a well-known sitcom that I’d never heard of.
“My job,” the head writer said, “is ridiculously easy. Every week, the writers pitch ideas for future episodes. I'm the one who decides whether to develop an idea or kill it.
"I've only got one criterion," she said. "Do I care what happens next? If I do, we develop the story; if not, we bury it."
Let's go back to the "negative" objection. Being negative—that is, opening with a problem—is a plus. Problems hook an audience.
Later in the story, the problems need to be resolved. And if it's a business audience, you also need to deliver a compelling point. But that's later.
Think about it. Every story—and life too—is about problems & obstacles, and "what happens next."
Going to see a movie? Suppose it's a light romantic comedy, you're not in the mood for anything heavy.
Still, there'll be plenty of problems.
The story will never be: Boy meets girl, they fall instantly in love, have a beautiful wedding and then live happily ever after.
No one's making that movie. There's no story.
Instead, you'll see: Boy meets girl, they fall in love, and then boy does something incredibly stupid. Later, boy does something else that's even stupider.
For some reason, it's always the boy who screws everything up.
But that's another story.
Tip: Hook your audience by making them wonder, What happens next?
p.s. I'm at the airport bookstore, flipping through books, reading first lines.
Best opening: "First, I'll tell about the robbery our parents committed. Then about the murders, which happened later" (Richard Ford's "Canada").
Problem, problem, problem.
© Copyright 2012 Paul Hellman. All rights reserved.
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Meet the Jobs Docs
Patricia Hunt Sinacole is president of First Beacon Group LLC, a human resources consulting firm in Hopkinton. She works with clients across many industries including technology, biotech and medical devices, financial services, and healthcare, and has over 20 years of human resources experience.
Elaine Varelas is managing partner at Keystone Partners, a career management firm in Boston and serves on the board of Career Partners International.
Cindy Atoji Keene is a freelance journalist with more than 25 years experience. E-mail her directly here.
Peter Post is the author of "The Etiquette Advantage in Business." Email questions about business etiquette to him directly here.
Stu Coleman, a partner and general manager at WinterWyman, manages the firm's Financial Contracting division, and provides strategic staffing services to Boston-area organizations needing Accounting and Finance workforce solutions and contract talent.
Tracy Cashman is a partner and the general manager of the Information Technology search division at WinterWyman. She has 20 years of experience partnering with clients in the Boston area to conduct technology searches in a wide variety of industries and technology.
Paul Hellman is the founder of Express Potential, which specializes in executive communication skills. He consults and speaks internationally on how to capture attention & influence others. Email him directly here.