One scenario I present at most of my seminars invariably elicits a lot of discussion.
Imagine you have invited a client to a business meal at a restaurant that has a no cell phones policy. During the meal your client answers his phone when it rings and launches into a conversation. People at near-by tables start looking your way. What do you do?
This situation is awkward to say the least. Last week, one participant at my seminar responded: “Get his attention. Tell him. Point at his phone and make a motion with your hand across your neck.” Another person chimed in: “Do nothing. He’s a client.” Yet another offered, “Go get a waitperson or maitre d’ to deal with the client while you’re in the restroom.”
It quickly becomes apparent that some people would be comfortable saying something directly to the client. “John, no cell phones here. Would you please step out to the lobby to take that call?” At another seminar, a person offered a slightly less intrusive solution: quickly jot down a message like “No cell phones” and slip it over to the client. For every person who is willing to say something to a client there’s another who will express trepidation at saying anything at all.
That leaves us with two possibilities: either doing nothing or asking someone at the restaurant to intervene. Doing nothing is fraught with complications. The situation escalates the longer the client is talking on the phone. Ultimately, for you, the client, and the other patrons, doing nothing really doesn’t work.
So, for the person who can’t directly ask the client to take the call in the lobby, the alternative of leaving for the restroom and asking a waitperson or maitre d’ to enforce the rule becomes a viable option. Of course it’s important to be discreet so the client doesn’t see you making the request.
Etiquette isn’t always about just one correct answer. While the solution to the problem is important, the real point I make is that for every situation, each person has to decide for him- or herself just what they can do and then act accordingly in the best manner possible, both to resolve the issue and to build or maintain the relationship at the same time.
By the way, the best solution is not to get into the situation in the first place. When arriving at the restaurant, the host should take his phone out, turn it off, and let the others in his group know the restaurant has a no cell phones policy. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
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Patricia Hunt Sinacole is president of First Beacon Group LLC, a human resources consulting firm in Hopkinton. She works with clients across many industries including technology, biotech and medical devices, financial services, and healthcare, and has over 20 years of human resources experience.
Elaine Varelas is managing partner at Keystone Partners, a career management firm in Boston and serves on the board of Career Partners International.
Cindy Atoji Keene is a freelance journalist with more than 25 years experience. E-mail her directly here.
Peter Post is the author of "The Etiquette Advantage in Business." Email questions about business etiquette to him directly here.
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Paul Hellman is the founder of Express Potential, which specializes in executive communication skills. He consults and speaks internationally on how to capture attention & influence others. Email him directly here.