Q. On which side of the shoulder/chest should a name tag be worn?

A. The appropriate side to wear a name tag is on the right side. The reason is that as you extend your hand in greeting, the gaze of the person you are meeting can easily follow your extended arm back to the name tag. More important than which side is the “correct” side is that each person at an event actually makes the effort to wear the name tag. They are incredibly useful for people who are meeting many new people at once. The event organizer should do everything possible in preparing the name tags to encourage people to wear them. This means paying attention both to the way the tag is worn and to the information provided on the tag.

Tags with pins or clips can damage clothing, especially a nice sweater or silk-like blouse. Even adhesive-backed labels can leave marks on clothes. The end result is that people either don’t wear them, or clip them to waistbands, purses or briefcases where they’re not easily seen. Lanyard-style badges, while kind to clothing, can get flipped over rendering them useless. A great alternative is the magnetic clip. These clips leave no marks on or holes in clothing and have enough gripping power to adhere through sweaters and jackets as well as lighter clothing.

I have shared an office with my boss for almost a year now. Since day one I have noticed that she clears her throat...a lot. It's not just your typical little clearing, it's much more than that and can last for up to an hour at a time. I have lasted a year with this, but it is starting to become unbearable. Even with headphones on I can still hear it. There isn’t another space for me to move to. Can you please give me some advice on how I should approach this?

A. B., Winchester, MA

Shared offices, cubical environments and open office are obvious ways for a business to save on costs. That sharing of space comes at a cost as well: People’s annoying, disturbing and sometimes even offensive actions can affect productivity and therefore profits. In your situation simple fixes like earphones or moving to another space either didn’t work or aren’t possible, and doing nothing is intolerable. Unless you’re willing to quit, it’s time to talk to your boss.

Q. How do you respond to an employee who you supervise who is unresponsive and ill-mannered, after many attempts to correct the issues?

T. K, Antioch, CA

A. The short answer would seem to be: “You fire the employee.” The issue is no longer about the behavior; it’s about the refusal to correct a behavior. As the supervisor, it’s your job to make sure each employee knows the expectations your company has for behavior, and it’s the employees’ responsibility to meet them. Otherwise, it can negatively affect morale when one employee is perceived to be exempt from having to comply with company standards.

Before doing anything so drastic as firing an employee, you need to let the employee know both verbally and, better yet, in writing what these expectations are and specifically what the employee is doing that isn’t consistent with those expectations. And that may be the crux of the matter for you: Are you, in fact, being explicit with the employee? What form have your attempts to correct the issue taken? If you haven’t really been clear the employee may not have “heard” you. If you beat around the bush, trying to be “polite,” your message could be ambiguous.

Q. I have a co-worker with whom I've started to develop a social relationship outside of work. Around other people, she’s supportive, and never says anything negative. Yet, when we get together for lunch, she’ll make unflattering comments to the effect that I “don't make much money,” that my efforts to volunteer as a mediator are useless because “attorneys and judges outrank me,” and that my therapist takes personal phone calls during sessions because “she's using her status over me” not because she's rude or unprofessional.

I’ve taken her previous comments in stride, but I’d like to let her know that it seems as if she's the one who thinks people have the one-up on me, including herself. What's a polite way of saying this without damaging our work relationship?

Anonymous

A. As you’ve discovered, the woman who is supportive at work is taking an aggressive, superior stance in her role as your new friend. While she may see herself as some kind of mentor, she’s critical without giving any real advice. The relationships we have at work don’t always translate into good social ones. Sharing too much personal information with work associates can put you at a disadvantage and impact you both personally and professionally. While you’ve taken the opportunity to get to know this woman better, there seems to be no benefit, especially to your self-esteem, in taking it further.

The question last week raised the broader issue of planning holiday parties. While many companies may be downsizing their holiday event, that doesn’t mean that any less care should be taken with planning the party. In fact, given the economic necessities of tighter belts and having to do more with less—all stress inducers at the workplace—hosting a holiday party is one way a company can give back to the employees, even if that party is down-sized itself. As that season is fast approaching, consider the following advice for successfully planning your company’s holiday party:

Pre-planning: Start now to line up a date for the event. If it will be off-site and you haven’t done so already, this week check to see if the facility can accommodate you on your preferred date. Be ready with a couple of optional dates if your first choice isn’t available.

Q: Holiday parties for employees always bring out challenges, but I may have one this year that takes it to a higher level. Our company with approximately 200 employees always hosts a nice Friday or Saturday holiday evening dinner with dancing, etc. in December. Everyone is invited to bring a spouse or guest. It's been well-attended, with few issues of any magnitude over the years.

This past summer, a male employee was involved in sexual relationships with several women in the company. He resigned quickly, and it seems that people have pretty much moved on. One woman in the office remains in a relationship with him and has voiced intentions to bring him to our party. This seems like a bad idea because employees he either had an affair with or attempted to date will be at the party, some with their significant others.
Should the company "ban" him?
B. B., North Chatham, MA

A: Would it be simpler if the Lothorio doesn’t attend the holiday party? Absolutely. Unfortunately, in this situation, unless there is a legal reason which is beyond the purview of etiquette, banning this individual is not the answer. The current policy is clean and simple: employees can bring a guest. The problem is once you start banning people for one reason, what’s to stop people from wanting to ban someone else for another reason? If an employee’s significant other is a loud-mouthed braggart who becomes the center of attention, it’s still not acceptable to call the employee aside and tell her she can’t bring him. It’s a slippery slope that should be avoided.

Q. Is it appropriate for a supervisor who is a grandmother-to-be to send around a list asking if any of her employees are interested in attending her daughter's baby shower? None of the employees really know the mother-to-be, aside from hearing about the pregnancy and seeing her photos in the supervisor's office.
C. K., Mays Landing, NJ

A. No, it’s not appropriate for this supervisor, who is a grandmother, to send a list around asking if anyone is interested in attending her granddaughter’s baby shower. It would be one thing if there were staff members who were also friends of the daughter, but that’s clearly not the case here. The supervisor is creating a doubly awkward situation for the employees. First, no one should ever be asked if they’d like to sign up for an invitation. Second, do employees say “No” and risk hurting their supervisor’s feelings, or do they say “Yes” and feel trapped into accepting, attending, and buying a gift for the event? It’s a lose-lose situation.

Q. I am originally from California where revolving doors are a rarity. Now that I live in Chicago, I encounter them all the time. What is the proper protocol for who goes first? Does a man proceed before a woman to get the door moving, or does he always allow the woman to go first?

E. M., Chicago, IL

A. The old advice about revolving doors was that the man chivalrously stepped forward and went first to get the heavy door moving. In this day and age of electric-assisted everything, most revolving doors are already moving slowly and barely need a touch to make them move or glide easily. Therefore, the implication that the man entered first because the woman needed help getting it moving no longer applies. Typically, today, as a man and woman approach a revolving door, the person who gets to the door first steps in and gets it going. Especially at crowded rush hour times, there are too many people trying to get through the door for men to step aside so women can go first.

Q. In a business setting, is it correct to address a co-worker as “he” or “she” while in a group or meeting, or is it proper etiquette to address them by their first name?
L. S., Avon, CT

A. Imagine the following scene. You and your boss enter a room to meet and engage with a new client. After introductions, your boss and the client talk, and as they do so, they begin referring to you as “she.” “Marge is the point person on this project. She’ll make sure everything is on time. If you need anything she’ll get it for you. She’s…” You begin to feel invisible. Because they’re referring to you as “she,” you no longer feel you’re part of the conversation. Why? Because “he” and “she” are third person forms of address. They’re used to refer to someone else—a person not in a room or the immediate vicinity or a person who is clearly not part of a conversation.

Q. What would you suggest is the appropriate way to follow up a cover letter and resume sent via email? Generally when these are sent in response to a classified type ad, the ad says "No phone calls, please." However the norm for firms seems to be to never respond to applicants at all. I find this trend very inconsiderate although understandable in the current economic climate. Is there anyway to get past the email wall and find out whether the firm is still hiring or not?

M. O., Belmont, MA

A. You’re trapped in a Catch 22: you’ve got a problem if you act and you’ve got a problem if you don’t act. If an employer says “No phone calls, please” what does calling say about your ability to follow directions? So, let’s take making a phone call off the table right away. One alternative is to do some sleuthing to find out the name of a person in the HR department who you can contact by email. Check the company’s web site and see if personnel are listed. Or, call the department and ask who you can contact and what their email address is. A third option is to work your network to see if anyone you know can give you the name of a person to contact.

I have a close, adult family member who doesn’t have very good table manners. I’ve tried nicely to offer advice but it doesn't seem to sink in. I’ve tried to convey how it looks to others, not trying to embarrass her but to hopefully make her aware how it looks in public. I love her very much but need advice on how to help her.D. P., Galivants Ferry, SC

Unfortunately, as the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. In her own way, her seeming indifference to your advice may be her quiet way of telling you she doesn’t think she has poor table manners. At this point your best approach may be to pass on offering such advice, model good table manners yourself, and focus on the positive qualities you do appreciate in order to enjoy being in her company.

Q. We partner in business with many individuals who are not native to, but now either reside in or frequent the United States to finalize paperwork to import/export products native to their country. Should I greet them in a manner that would acknowledge their native country? Is there anything in particular that would qualify how I address the visitor?

L. P., Tampa, FL

A. A second grader once asked me why, if his bed time was 11:00 PM, did he have to go to bed at 10:00 PM when he visited his friend’s home. The answer was simple: When he visited his friend’s house, he was bound by the rules there, not the rules at his own home. One of the basics of etiquette is to respect the traditions of the culture you enter. A culture can be as broad as East compared to West or one country compared to another. But it also can be something as specific as the difference between two companies or even between two office locations of the same company. Therefore, in your case, when your partners come to the United States to do business with you, they should be prepared to be greeted with a handshake. That said, it’s also considerate on your part not to force a person into a situation that will be potentially difficult. For instance, in greeting a woman of the Islamic faith, even though our culture accepts a man offering his hand to a woman in greeting, you might choose to wait to extend your hand until she makes the first gesture.

The issue of addressing a person visiting you rests on the difference between being formal and being familiar. It is more respectful to use a formal means of address such as “Mr. Sousa” until told by the person you are greeting to “please call me Jorge.” Before the person arrives, call the person’s business to find out if the visitor comes from a culture where a title such as Professor is used, or if he has a degree that indicates use of a title such as Doctor. An added benefit of making the call: You can confirm the correct pronunciation of the person’s name.

Q. I have a co-worker who is extremely gassy. Management has spoken to her and even moved her around the office several times. Because it’s considered a medical condition, nothing can be done about it. She has a can of fragrant spray at her desk that she uses when she needs to but sometimes that's even worse. People avoid walking behind her or using the bathroom after her because it smells so bad. I've almost "anonymously" left articles at her desk in regards to things that can help with her problem, I'm almost tempted to quit my job because of this, but I shouldn't have to because of another co-worker’s gas problem.

Please Help!

K. M., Appleton, WI

A. When an individual’s “personal issues” negatively impact co-workers, it’s important that the situation is addressed and resolved. You mention several options. Anonymous “anythings” are generally ignored and simply cause hurt and resentment in the recipient. Besides, you wouldn’t be making her aware of anything she doesn’t already know. Her use of the spray can and the fact that she has been moved several times show she understands that her flatulence is a problem in the office. Management appears to have made an attempt to deal with the issue and may even be the reason she has the fragrance spray at her desk. Another approach is necessary.

Unfortunately, this situation has progressed beyond an etiquette issue where the advice would be to have a trusted friend talk with her. Management needs to step in and find an effective solution. Her condition is causing a problem at the office that affects productivity, potentially profits, and retention—you and possibly others are thinking about quitting. At this point the employees in the office need to let management know the seriousness of the situation. Along with your colleagues, meet with management and request that an HR person be at the meeting as well. Express your concerns about the effect this problem is having on you, on the co-worker, and the company. Management then needs to address the issue more substantively than moving the person around the office or asking her to use an air freshener.

Q. When moving into a new, small, office building that has 4 to 5 offices with around 10 employees each, should the new folks go introduce themselves, and if so, who should make the effort (office manager, receptionist, boss, or whoever wants to?). Or should those already residing there go introduce themselves to the new folks, and if so, who? Obviously in a big office building it would not be practical, but in a small building with a small number of employees, is it proper etiquette to make introductions, especially with dissimilar work and not a priority to “network?”

D. H., Knoxville, TN

A. After settling in, a quick visit to other businesses in the building by the highest ranking person in your space would be most appropriate. It will be easier for the rest of the staff to make self-introductions if your boss has already made the rounds of the building. The other employees then can meet and greet as they run into people in the halls and rest areas. It really doesn’t matter whether those businesses are potential customers or valuable network connections. It’s really simply a matter of common courtesy to introduce yourself. Remember, first impressions matter, and making introductions establishes a positive relationship with your neighbors right from the start. Everyone in your business should be reminded to make eye contact, offer a firm handshake and introduce themselves.

Q. I sympathize with M.S. who works at a customer service counter in Gardner, Kansas and was annoyed by customers’ use of cell phones in stores. However, I would like to point a finger at service people who have similar rude behaviors toward customers:
1) retail clerks who answer a phone call and make me wait while they take down a telephone order and even hunt through stock to accommodate the person on the phone;
2) the check out clerks who keep their fingers on their cell phones, texting personal messages instead of scanning the items I am waiting to purchase.

H.B., Brookline, MA

A. I sympathize with your frustration. One time I waited patiently for a sales clerk to finish with a customer. Just as he was about to turn to me, his cell phone rang. It was a customer asking a question, and the ensuing conversation lasted for ten minutes. In essence, the clerk let the phone customer “cut the line.” When the clerk finally ended the call and turned to me, I asked him why he took the call rather than working with me. His answer: “My phone rang, I had to answer it.” So I informed him he had just lost a sale, and I was going to his competitor instead.

Q. Is it okay to use a BlackBerry for social purposes in a class? Is it okay to leave your Bluetooth in when meeting with clients or at a company lunch?
J. P., Carmichael, CA

A. The etiquette for all electronic communication devices is based on one simple maxim: if its use is going to bother others, don’t use it; instead, turn it off. Inevitably, people want to push the envelope. The BlackBerry provides a twist that some people believe exempts them from the rule. They understand that not using it as a phone when in a class or a house of worship or a meeting or even in a restaurant, makes sense. But what about texting, checking email, or surfing the Internet? After all, they don’t involve your voice, and therefore these actions aren’t bothering other people, so what’s the harm? The problem is that even though they are silent, they can still distract others. For instance, in a meeting, when the user’s focus is on the device, it’s not on what’s going on at the meeting. From the presenter’s perspective, he sees people with their heads down and their thumbs flying across the miniature keyboard; it’s distracting at best. The same result occurs in a class: when other students see a person using the device, they are distracted, and the teacher may lose his/her train of thought. In a restaurant, even if it doesn’t bother the other patrons, focusing on a PDA says to the person you are with that whomever you’re interacting with on the PDA is more important—that’s not a good message to send to the person you are with face-to-face.

Q. Our Foundation sends a lot of formal and informal information to physician (MD) graduates. Discussion occurs regularly about the correct way to address formal invitations to a function versus informal mailings of brochures, etc. We want to include spouses on the formal invitations, so what do you suggest to be the correct way to address these invitations? Where and when should we use the spouse’s first name?B. P., Albany, NY

A. For a formal social event, the invitation envelope should be addressed to Dr. and Mrs. John Smith. However, if the doctor is female, then the correct address is: Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith. Her name comes first because her professional title “out ranks” his social title. If you wish to use the spouse’s first name, write: Dr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Smith. If the spouse kept her maiden name, write: Dr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Jones.

Q. What advice do you have for handling difficult volunteers? You may think I'd be happy to have "too much help," but I've found a few who want to take over, take control, and cannot take direction. It gets to the point that I don't want that personality to volunteer at all, because even if I’m specific and match talents, they cannot stay within the scope. I can even easily give up "all the credit," but how do I rein in "too much" help, even though I'm the recognized "boss" but everyone is a volunteer?
L. F., Watertown, MA

How do you deal with not-so-nice comments, told in a joking manner, about a coworker who is not so popular or well liked, or any coworker in general when they are not present?

Also, what do you do if you have been working with someone for a few years and during that time you gave them gifts/cards during the holidays (e.g. Christmas), and then when they leave the job you find out they left the gifts/cards behind. Is it appropriate to take them back and, if you maintain contact, is it appropriate to bring up the subject about the gifts you gave?

M. M., Oakland, CA

Q. I belong to several online groups. Recently, I started getting inundated with posts about an upcoming seminar. A common member of most of the groups I belong to started sending out dozens of postings to each group about his upcoming event. I felt this was in poor taste but he said that is what these groups are for. Am I correct that there is proper etiquette for these online groups? What are they, and how can I apply them to the groups I administrate?
D. P., Fairport, NY

Q. As part of the search for a new position, I’ve had to travel to prospective employers for interviews. In the last two months I had one interview that was 208 miles from home — which cost me a total of $117.10, including tolls. I asked for reimbursement from the Human Resources person the day after the interview. The other interview was 244 miles, totaling $135.20. On this occasion I asked my potential manager who to contact for reimbursement. After numerous attempts, I finally gave up on trying to be reimbursed per customary business travel expense practices. Was I correct in asking for travel expenses? Was my timing correct? I am currently out of work so the reimbursement would be helpful.
A. G., Methuen, MA

Q. What is really business casual?
When are sandals and sleeveless dresses or blouses acceptable in the workplace?
How do you handle a co-worker who continues to stare at you after you have answered their question as if you are going to say something else?

S. D., Cary, NC

Q. When thanking several people for something on a written document, what is the correct way to list their names? Who should go first, second, third, etc.?

A.First, I applaud you for being smart enough to write any kind of document that includes a thank you. In the worlds of job search and business, the thank yous are too often forgotten. In offices where thank you cards, letters, and even emails are received, reactions are very consistent. When people get a thank you in writing - especially one they did not expect, they pass them around, mention how thoughtful someone was and reinforce everything about that person in a positive way. This helps you if you are a candidate for a job, and if you are already a member of the organization.

If you are sending thank you letters (or emails) after an interview, I suggest you send each participant his or her own letter. Though these letters will have common language, they should not be identical. You want to be able to say something that relates to the conversation you had, and acknowledge that persons contribution to the process. Were they especially knowledgeable about a topic of mutual interest? Did they have insightful answers to some of your questions? Remember these letters will most likely be compared, so stay equally positive, professional, and take the opportunity to reinforce why you have a significant interest in the role, the team, the company, and the success you would bring.

You may want to mention someone you had only a brief interaction with, and may not warrant a letter of his or her own (although there is no harm here), and in that situation, you can add a line saying "Please express my appreciation to Scott - his coordination of the logistics of our meetings was masterful.”

Q. My female boss has suggested that we share a hotel room at a multiple-day conference we’ll be attending together. Although I’m also female, I’m uncomfortable with this because I don’t particularly care for her on a personal level and get quite tired of being around her during a regular work day. The conference will involve 12-hour days. I’ll need my personal space at the end of the day to recharge and do my best the next day. I don't know how to approach this issue with her in a way that will preserve our working relationship. I was thinking about proposing to pay half the cost of my own room as one alternative. Other suggestions?

S. M. W., Denver, CO

Q. How do you tell someone to please cover their mouth when coughing or sneezing? This is a co-worker that sits right next to me, and I don’t know how to tell her.C. V., Carrollton, TX

A. Engaging in a conversation which includes criticizing another person’s behavior is difficult. The goal is to correct the behavior and not to insult the person at the same time. One option is to address the situation when it happens. Right after she sneezes, say to her, “Loretta, I know it can be difficult, especially when a sneeze comes on suddenly, but would you please try to cover up? I’ve already had a cold once this year, and it would be really difficult for me to be sick again.” While this approach addresses the situation head-on, criticizing a person while a behavior is occurring can trigger an aggressive response. Suddenly, instead of the interaction being about her sneezing, it’s about you criticizing her. It’s even more problematic if your criticism embarrassed her in front of other people. Then, her back may go right up against the wall, and she won’t listen to a word you have to say.

Q. I have a question about how to address supervisors. I address my supervisor by his title, Dr., and last name. Recently, he began signing e-mails between us with his first name. Does this mean that it’s now appropriate for me to call him by his first name in person or when addressing him in an e-mail? I have noticed a few colleagues using his first name in conversations.
H. H., Natick, MA

Q. I'm an assistant and my employer invited me to lunch for Administrative Professionals' Day. I work alongside two others who are technically in another department. They were not included in the lunch invitation. The vice president of their department works from another office on the opposite coast.

A. You were right to go to lunch with your boss. His offer was honoring you in recognition of the day and your efforts to support him throughout the year.

You should not have declined and then said, “But if you want to take Marge and Jane along with me because their boss is across the country, then I’d be happy to go to lunch.” Now you are dictating the conditions under which you’re willing to have lunch and not giving your boss the choice of whether to invite them while still honoring you. In the end run, it turns a nice invitation into a negotiation and hurts your relationship with him.

It’s unfortunate for the other two assistants that their boss works in another location, but that’s a reality of their job. It’s not your position to negotiate on their behalf or attempt to correct a missed opportunity on their boss’s behalf.

Q. I work at a customer service counter in City Hall. We often have customers who, when I’m assisting them, will answer a cell phone call and bring the entire process to a halt. What is the best way to deal with this situation?

M. S., Gardner, KS

A. Recently, at a press briefing, President Obama’s press secretary, took a cell phone away from a reporter who answered a call during the briefing. Hats off to Mr. Gibbs.

Unfortunately, in your case, taking away the person’s cell phone is not the answer. The best solution is a policy prohibiting cell phone use in your department. With such a policy, you can ask the person to end the call immediately.

Q. What would be the best way to solve this issue: a colleague in the cubicle next to mine passes gas all the time?C. P., San Ramón, CA

A. You have two choices: live with it or talk to him. Which is best is really up to you. Unfortunately, approaching co-workers about personal issues is difficult, even for a friend. If you aren’t a friend who has his trust and respect, it will be difficult to have a successful conversation, so you may have to talk with someone who is that friend or your manager about how to proceed. If you are that friend, it’s very important not to display an accusatory attitude that implies he’s doing this intentionally to annoy you. Instead, if you talk to him, base your conversation on your concern for him as a person and his success as a colleague. Do it with the goal of improving the situation and, hopefully, building rather than hurting your relationship with him.

Q. I work with someone whom I dislike intensely because of his work ethics and attitude. I don’t socialize with him and pretty much ignore him unless it is work-related. He is lazy and always finds ways to argue himself out of work or the possibility of having to work any harder than he has to. Others in my office feel the same way, but for some reason he is still here.

Now it has happened again. Do I send another email to my bosses or just forget it or resign? I don't want to be a whiner but this person's work attitude stinks. How do I deal with someone like this without having my blood pressure hit the roof every time I hear his voice?
K. C., Ellsworth, ME

Q. I am a new author and want to make a great impression at book signings. How do I politely continue to pay attention to everyone around me when I have one individual who wants to monopolize the time I have for everyone?
A. S., Lafayette LA

A. It can get hectic at a signing and staying focused is key. Give your full attention to each person as they approach the table. Ask to whom they want you to sign the book and what the spelling of the name is. Even a name as simple as “John” can be spelled “Jon.”

If the person tries to strike up a conversation or monopolize your time, not only is it appropriate to end the conversation, it’s the considerate action to respect the other people who have come to meet you and have their books signed. You can be direct without being rude by saying, “I’ve enjoyed talking with you but, I should keep signing books for the other people who have come here today. Thank you so much for stopping by.” And then turn to and greet the next person.

Q. A co-worker came to work today with a tick buried under the skin of his
hand, for which he had not sought medical assistance. Instead, he came to work and asked another coworker to use a pocket knife and help him cut it out. This took place in front of two other co-workers who appeared amused and offered advice in this surgical procedure. Collectively these four individuals finally decided that they were in over
their heads and advised the infected co-worker to finally seek a doctor.

Tell me, am I delusional in thinking these people were out of line?

R. O., Methuen, MA

A. Yes, R. O., they were out of line. First and foremost, they risked causing serious harm to the tick bitten co-worker. The risk of infection from the tick itself as well as from the knife is both real and dangerous. In addition, if the tick carried Lyme or other tick-born diseases, the long–term health consequences could be very serious. Obviously, your co-worker used poor judgment when he failed to seek medical assistance in the first place.

From the etiquette point of view, performing the “operation” in public showed a complete lack of awareness of the sensibilities of others. Any potentially “gross” activity should be taken care of in private. From the business point of view, the disruption it caused distracted other workers from their primary task—getting their work done—not to mention putting the business itself at risk as the “operation” was carried out while on the job.

Q. When writing an e-mail to a group of people, should names always be listed alphabetically or by hierarchy. Often after the first couple of "ranked" people, the remainder of the addressees are peers. In that case should I first list the president, then vice president, and then all the subordinates in alpha order?

Am I making this a bigger deal than is necessary?

C.W. Needham, MA

A. It’s a good idea to take care both with the “rank” and the spelling of people’s names. The hybrid of listing “ranked people” first followed by peers in alphabetical order makes the most sense.

Q. What is the proper way to say "thank you" versus just "thanks" with an exclamation mark at the end, which by the way comes across as rude to me. Am I too old fashioned?

A. It’s not so much a matter of being “old fashioned” as it is a sensitivity to recognizing that “thanks,” while it can be very sincere, is a very casual way of expressing appreciation. Therefore, “thanks” should be used in a more informal setting with people who are your peers or close to you. For instance, if you’re writing an email to a colleague or friend and ask for some information or make a simple request, “thanks” would be an appropriate close. Alternatively, if you are making a request of a person higher up at your place of business or a prospect or client, then ‘thank you” would be both more formal and appropriate.

Q. I work in a shared office with six employees. Each day some office personnel have lengthy work and even non-work conversations in our cubicle area. People in nearby cubicles are distracted by the conversations. I believe the work environment should be friendly but these are long distracting conversations. How do I get the point across without hurting feelings or creating an unhappy non-cooperative work environment?
D. R., Troutdale Oregon

Q. As the new administrator for a small office, I also handle all receptionist duties. Several of my boss’s colleagues occasionally drop in without an appointment and literally walk past me to head into his office. I believe he has created this environment by not setting boundaries initially. My boss, not being one for confrontation, would like me to intercept visitors. How do I stop them without being rude and set boundaries from this point forward?
C. S., Atlanta, GA.

Q. I would like your perspective on what I perceive to be a frustrating trend: job applicants showing up too early for interviews. When I have interviewed for positions, I’ve made it a point to arrive about 5-10 minutes before the scheduled time. If I arrive earlier to ensure I’m not late, I make it a point not to enter the facility until the 5-10 minute window.

In my current position, I’m often required to interview candidates and have noticed they’re showing up earlier and earlier. Often I get a call from the reception desk that my candidate has arrived as much as 30 minutes ahead of the appointment. I often have a full calendar and cannot take time out to go and greet them, even though it makes me feel uncomfortable keeping somebody waiting idly in reception.

H.S., Mansfield, MA

A: My number one piece of advice for job seekers, and perhaps the most important, is to be on time: not too early and not too late. Being late, even just a couple of minutes late, is a sure fire way not to get the job. You’re starting off on the wrong foot, and you’re making the interviewer wonder if that’s the way you’ll treat clients, prospects, and fellow employees.

Being on time also means not arriving too early. Not only does it create an awkward situation for the interviewer, who feels responsible for your comfort during the wait time, it also can create difficulty for other interviewees, who may not want to be seen interviewing. Often, interviews are staggered so that candidates don’t meet in the waiting area.